In this rare instance, this diary has nothing whatsoever to do with Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, politics, etc. This diary has everything to do with a sudden and heartbreaking decision my husband and I had to make this past Friday morning and to explain my absence in my usual virtual haunts the past few days knowing full well that I will have sympathetic and supportive thoughts that I really need right now.

This is Karma.

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Karma came into my life a few weeks after my now - husband and I began living together, and I told him there was no way were going to have a cat in the apartment. I grew up on a farm and was used to "barn cats," but I'd never had one in the house for a pet. Around my birthday in 1997, we were at a pet store on the north side of town, and there were 7 or 8 kittens around 4 weeks old in a big 'ol cage. There was one particular kitten who was clearly "large and IN CHARGE." :D She was white with long hair with splotches of black, grey, and orange. The minute I picked her up, she calmed down, turned on the purr machine, and relaxed. She picked me, and I picked her.

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We took her home the day after my birthday in 1997. She mewed, mewed, and MEWED all the way home, and the minute we got her to the apartment, she ran behind the fridge. However, within a matter of hours, she made sure to let us know who ruled the apartment now. ;D She quickly grew used to the stairs and learned where our bedroom was, and right on top of my head was her sleeping place from then on - including in the above picture.

On Thursday night, when I got home from teaching my class, my husband told me he couldn't get Karma to eat. This development wasn't too surprising because Karma always favored me a bit more and could have a temper - like someone else I know. So, I went to the room where she was, but she wouldn't eat for me, either. At one point, she stepped in the bowl and over it, so I immediately began to suspect some vision issues, and my suspicions were confirmed when I had her in my lap, got her to eat some canned food (appetite fine), another of our kitties tried to jump in my lap, and she didn't react at all. She usually began hissing and growling if another kitty got within 2 feet of me.

Friday morning, when I went in to feed her, my husband and I found her convulsing and obviously suffering. We quickly came to the assumption that she'd had a stroke or something similar. We knew she would continue to suffer and not improve. I said sobbing, "I think we're losing her." So, I bundled her up and drove her to our nearby vet without any appointment or anything. I got to the office 5 minutes after they opened, they took one look at me, and they took one look at her and quickly got us in. Around 30 minutes later, with me holding her as long as they'd let me, her heart stopped beating; mine did, too.

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Karma was the grand lady in our house for 16 years - all of them very healthy up until those last couple of days. I am grateful for her long good life, and she helped make me the "crazy cat lady" I am today.

I miss her so SO much and will for a very long time. Thank you all for your reading, understanding, and your support.

Originally posted to CityLightsLover on Mon Mar 18, 2013 at 05:04 AM PDT.

Also republished by Indianapolis Kossacks, Friends of Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow, and PWB Peeps.

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