“Cellar door” is supposedly the best sounding combination of 2 words in the English language. My personal favorite is “bootyhole casserole.”
Saw a new Yellow Pages on my doorstep. A little voice inside my head said, "Don't look back/ You can never look back."
The Obama budget calls for a minimum wage of $9/hr. AND, an upgrade of Subway worker titles to "Sandwich ARTISTE."
If you drink 5 Monster Energy drinks you'll be able to throw a rock through the moon. It's proven energy drink science.
Before you start complaining about your job, take a moment to realize there’s a Mexican woman with a donkey penis in her mouth right now.
“Haha! Looking great man! That walking on water trick never gets old. Wooooo!”
turns to other Apostle
“I think I fucking hate that guy.”
I'm memorizing War and Peace with hope, at the time of my inevitable murder, I get the chance to answer the question 'any last words?'
I have a plastic pitcher full of leftover mac and cheese if anybody wants to get weird tonight.