Sen. Mike Enzi (R-WY)
Sen. Mike Enzi, genius
Oh, look, Sen. Enzi knows what will really stop gun violence in this country. Parents, have you ever really sat down with your kids and talked to them about not killing people?
“There is no doubt that we need to do more to curb the senseless acts of violence that continue to occur in this country,” Sen. Mike Enzi (R-WY), an opponent of the underlining gun bill, said. “One of the things we need are parents, parents to be more careful and more repetitive at telling their kids that it is not right to kill people. It’s not even right to bully them. And it’s definitely not right for them to kill themselves. Until we can get that message across to our kids, I hope that we don’t rely on a few votes by this body to make everybody feel comfortable that all the problem is taken care of.”
That is such a deep fucking thought I have to take a moment to let Sen. Mike Enzi's wisdom wash over me. Ah. Okay, it's done.

I can think of a few other things that might help, too. Parents, do not leave your loaded guns under your damn bed, because it's not like a child doesn't find one and accidentally shoot someone with it nearly every damn day, in this country. You might also consider not waving it around at the neighbors when they piss you off. Do you have anger management problems in general? Maybe you should not own one. Are you stupid? Again, consider your capabilities. More people are accidentally shot by morons than by any other group.

We could, of course, consider efforts to keep guns out of the hands of people with anger-management problems or away from the perpetually stupid. We might consider safety mechanisms that would make it more difficult for children to fire the weapons their brick-stupid parents leave lying around the house. We might want to, say, check that the same violent thugs that are currently banned from buying guns from certain dealers are banned from buying them from the other dealers too, because effing duh, you paste-eating twit.

But all those things are too hard, so let's go with reminding our kids once again that it's not okay to kill people. That's only for when you're older, kids, and are bitter, paranoid old cranks who are convinced that the entire purpose of owning guns at all will fail if you have to fill out some form that says you're competent enough to own one. Until then, kids, here's your bulletproof vest, your bulletproof backpack, and be nice to the armed volunteer guards outside school because some of those people aren't right in the head themselves.

There's got to be some way of bestowing the biggest legislative morons of the week with some sort of award—a complimentary ham or something, I don't know. But we'd have to send out dozens of the things on weeks like this one, and it just seems like a logistical nightmare.

Originally posted to Daily Kos on Thu Apr 18, 2013 at 11:30 AM PDT.

Also republished by Repeal or Amend the Second Amendment (RASA) and Shut Down the NRA.

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