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[cool, upbeat female ad voice over]

Introducing "Sequesterless Airlines,"  . . . the only way to fund.

America's air traffic controllers sucessfully restored their funding after inconveniencing business travelers and members of Congress.

Now you can restore your funding too!

Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the friendly funding of Sequesterless Air.

Let's hear from a few satisfied customers . . .

Little Timmy:  I lost my Head Start funding, but when me and seventy-thousand kids like me slowed down the boarding process, we got our funding back!  Thank you Sequesterless Air!

Guy Stuffed in Overhead Bin:  On Sequesterless Air, I inconvenienced a business-class passenger by taking up the overhead bin space-- and got my jobless benefits restored!

Smart Female Scientist:  When I started doing important infectious disease research in a middle seat, I got my N.I.H. funding back!  Thanks, Sequesterless Air!

Computer Voice (like Hawking):  I blocked a Congressman's access to the bathroom on a cross-country flight, and got 978 million dollars in special ed funding restored!  I love Sequesterless Air!

Coast Guard Guy (on megaphone):  After we slowed down baggage handling, Congress funded us so we could patrol America's ports again.  Thanks, Sequesterless Air!

Old Sick Lady:  And thanks to my [hack] untreated hacking cough and Sequesterless Air, I ended up preventing billions in Medicare cuts!  [hack-hack]

Female Ad Narrator:  Sequesterless Airlines-- your ticket to funding!

Isn't it time we all inconvenienced Congressional and business travelers?

(Hundreds of nonstop flights available daily from Reagan National and Dulles.)

Originally posted to Comics on Fri May 03, 2013 at 06:50 AM PDT.

Also republished by Daily Kos.

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