Here you go.  Troll rate it to hell.

I just don't care anymore.

And that's the worst place that someone like me can be.

I just don't care anymore.

Maybe it's the weekend.  Maybe it was Kaili's diary that pushed me over the edge.  Perhaps it was the "Afghanistan Is America's Afghanistan" front page story, where I dejectedly wrote:

No one cares.

That's the bottom line.

If you don't have a loved one in the combat theater, chances are that your interest level in Afghanistan is somewhere south of nil.  Is there anyone you know that could have told you how many American soldiers died in Afghanistan this week?  I doubt it.

It's been said many times that Afghanistan is where empires go to die.

Ours will ultimately be no different.

Read "Charlie Wilson's War".  Avoid the movie. Read the book. Hell, read "Kite Runner" or "A Thousand Splendid Suns."  Read these books.  You'll know immediately that the U.S. expedition in Afghanistan is ultimately a losing proposition.

I'm a nobody and I know this.  If I know this, you can be assured that those with real skin in the game know this.

Maybe it's the oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico.  While I've been very engaged in it from the very beginning, 9 out of 10 people don't know it's even happening, and out of that 10% of the people who have some idea of what's happening down there, most believe that BP's got a handle on it, and that ultimately it won't make much of a difference to the planet.

Perhaps it's the lack of empathy from the powerbrokers in Washington.  I was out of work for 16 months (Oct. 08 to Feb. 10).  I got lucky and found a job, even if the wage is barely above the unemployment I was receiving.  Took me 16 months, but I found something finally.  I have too many friends and former colleagues who are in the 99 week bracket - the shit's going to hit the fan soon for them.  And they have no safety net to catch them.

Then again, it could be the disappearance of the Haiti disaster.  One quarter of a million people died in an earthquake a few months ago.  Remember that?  I was up to my hips in it for awhile.  Hundreds of thousands are still homeless and struggling day by day.  The country is in ruins.  But Royal Caribbean is still docking cruise ships on the pristine beaches of Labadee.  Out of sight, out of mind.

Or could it be that the basic situation on the Native American reservations in the Dakotas hasn't really improved?  They're not freezing right now, but life is still very hard on the res.  And it's not just in the Dakotas.  Check New Mexico (my home state) and Arizona.  And Colorado.  And...well, you get the idea.

I have been immersed in politics since the early '90s.  I chaired the Planning Commission in my hometown for three years.  I ran for city council (and won) and sat for two terms, until I became so disgusted by the petty politics and colleagues who cared more about feathering their own nests than actually working to make the township better for everyone.  10 years later, the same basic group of people are still running the town, the town is worse off than it was when I declined to run again, and nothing's going to change 10 years from now.

Yeah, I'm bummed.  There's more to the story, but I won't bore you with the personal angle right now.

I dunno, maybe I'm just overwhelmed today.  I'm going through a lot of personal changes myself, and I don't like it one bit.  There doesn't seem to be much hope for my future.  I worry for my kids.  I worry for this country.  I worry for this planet.

No need to bail me out - I'm just venting on a lonely Saturday night.

Thanks for suffering through this diary.

Originally posted to All Spin Zone on Sat May 22, 2010 at 07:04 PM PDT.

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