From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Jimmy Kimmel and Sen. Chris Murphy Weigh in on Santa Fe
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Is it November 6 yet?
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold...
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, May 21, 2018
Note: Oh no...Jared just cracked a nail. Life is so unfair.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the midterm elections: 169
Days 'til the Down East Spring Birding Festival around Cobscook Bay: 4
Number of births in the U.S. last year, the lowest number since 1987: 3.85 million
Estimated number of electronic cigarettes that exploded in people’s faces between 2009 and 2016, causing 133 injuries: 195
Percent chance that levels of CFCs---banned since 1987---have been rising in the ozone layer since 2013: 100%
Percent chance that monitors show the increased emissions are coming from the areas around China, Mongolia and the Koreas, likely due to “rogue production” of CFCs, according to AP: 100%
Height of the ash spewed into the sky by the Mount Kilauea volcano when it erupted last week: 30,000 feet
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Story of my life…
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CHEERS to gravity defiance. By the time you read this---assuming all went well (Update: It did!)---a Cygnus cargo craft will be on its way to the International Space Station, and holy cow it’s packin’ enough cool science to make Bill Nye swoon. Here’s a quick rundown:
» Studying super-cold atom clouds using a new “ice chest” with an interior that can reach temperatures “10 billion times colder than the vacuum of space.” Or as it’s known around our house, a daiquiri maker.
» An old-fashioned sextant, used for centuries by seafarers. “Because the instrument requires no power or external support to operate, it could be a simple but life-saving tool, NASA officials said.”
» Streamlined technology for sequencing the genome of microbes found on board without having to culture them first. According to NASA, understanding microbe technology can prevent a variety of sharp-toothed organisms from bursting out of astronauts’ chests during mealtime.
» e. coli bacteria is headed up to the station for study. To prevent then from affecting the crew, each one is wearing a tiny pair of e. coli shackles and a steel Silence of the Lambs Hannibal Lecter mask.
Plus the usual essential supplies are also on their way: food, equipment, their Etsy orders, and a fresh “My Other Space Station Is An ‘83 Impala” bumper sticker.
JEERS to America: land of the guns, home of the gun nuts. What happens in the wake of the massacre in Newtown Aurora Binghamton Tucson Santa Barbara Charleston Lafayette Roseburg Kalamazoo Orlando Alexandria Las Vegas Benton Parkland etcetera etcetera etcetera Santa Fe, Texas during what was supposed to be a normal school day (10 killed, 13 wounded by a Nazi-loving domestic terrorist ) is depressingly predictable: The community will grieve as the dead are buried. Gun control advocates, including survivors of previous school shootings, will wisely suggest that this might be a good time to review our federal and state firearms policies so that our nation's shameful record of gun violence might be improved upon. The president and his minions will say “now is not the time” and yet find time to blame Democrats for the carnage and urge every living soul and their pets to arm themselves to the teeth, but not before insincerely offering their “thoughts and prayers.” And the NRA will continue scaring Republican politicians into looking the other way by informing them that, "We'll be scoring you on your response." The only thing that might shock the gun bitterclingers into reality is a blue wave on November 6th. Otherwise, the mighty Wurlitzer plays on.
CHEERS to telling the American president to [insert “fuck off” in every European language here]. The fallout from Trump’s idiotic decision to violate the Iran nuclear agreement---which Iran was following to the letter---is still hanging in the air like a fart in a Trump Tower elevator, and I’m rooting for the remaining signatories to find a way around the huge hole we just blew into it. Looks like they’re busy at it:
The European Commission said Friday it is planning to shield EU-based companies that continue to trade with Iran despite Trump's decision to quit an international nuclear agreement and reintroduce sanctions.
The move, which has the support of all 28 EU states, is part of an effort by Germany, France and the United Kingdom to salvage the 2015 deal that promised Iran economic benefits in return for a promise that it would limit its nuclear program. […]
The most significant measure announced Friday is a "blocking statute." It would protect European companies from US sanctions, but could expose them to European penalties if they choose to cut ties with Iran.
Says one American trade lawyer: "They're moving really fast to stake out a position on this." And if there’s one thing anyone can beat Donald Trump at, it’s moving really fast.
CHEERS to the Windsor Wedding with a touch of Wakanda. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle (but you can just call them the Duke and Duchess of Sussex from now on) tied the knot in a ceremony that was what a lot of people weren’t expecting Saturday. It had all the storybook elements, but this time the story reflected American Markle’s “pride in being a strong, confident, mixed-race woman.” (Her mother is African-American.) It had a black gospel choir singing Stand By Me, black cellist Sheku Kanneh-Mason, and black progressive U.S. Episcopal Bishop Michael Curry delivering a barn-burner sermon centered around the words of Martin Luther King:
"We must discover the power of love, the redemptive power of love. And when we do that, we will be able to make of this old world a new world. Love is the only way."
He continued with an old slave spiritual from the antebellum South about the transformative power of love. "They sang a spiritual, even in the midst of their captivity," Curry said. "It’s one that says there is a balm in Gilead, a healing balm---something that can make things right. There is a balm in Gilead to make the wounded whole.”
Also: the baker of the cake, Claire Ptak, is American, and her creation was made of lemon and elderflower. (But contrary to what you may have heard, her father does not smell of elderberries.) Lovely pastry, but could’ve used more candy corn in my humble opinion:
And now that she’s officially in, the Duchess will execute “Operation Florence Nightingale”: stealing Britain’s universal health care system and bringing it to America on a secretly-chartered frigate in the dead of night. Shhhhh…not a word.
P.S. Oh, BBC, I heart thee...
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CHEERS to partying parties. On this date in 1832, the first Democratic National Convention got under way in Baltimore. The top issues were Andrew Jackson's contempt for the Second Bank of the United States and the business of voting on a running mate. (Martin Van Buren got the nod in a blowout.) And there was this curious factoid:
[T]he Summary of the Proceedings notes that a delegation was sent to ask Charles Carroll of Carrollton to attend. At that moment in time, he was the last surviving signer of the Declaration of Independence. Carroll declined, citing ill health. (He died later that year.)
Jackson and Van Buren went on to crush Henry Clay and John Sergeant in the general, due mostly to their campaign slogan: "Don't Make Andrew Mad. You Don't Want to See Andrew When He's Mad."
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Ten years ago in C&J: May 21, 2008
CHEERS to gettin' lucky in Oregon and Kentucky. No surprises in yesterday's primaries. Hillary won in the "Weed grows in this state like a weed" state, and Barack easily won the "You Want Hemp? We Got Hemp!" state. Now it's off to Montana and South Dakota, where the gloves will come off. Mainly because the voters' fingers have finally thawed out.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to Canada! We'd be insulting our neighbors to the north if we didn't wish them a happy, happy---[Looks at wall calendar for the 18th time today to remember what the hell the holiday's called again]---Victoria Day! It's a day for dusting off their William Shatner shrines (required by law) and chugging any leftover Molson from last year's Victoria Day. If you're wondering what all the fuss is about, eh…
Victoria Day celebrates Queen Victoria's birthday (May 24th). Canada is still a member of the Commonwealth of Nations, of which the Queen is head.
Victoria Day is always on a Monday; thus the holiday is part of a long weekend, which is commonly referred to as the Victoria Day Weekend, the May Long Weekend, the May Long, or the May Two-Four (a case of beer in some parts of Canada is called a "two-four" and many of these are consumed over the holiday). The weekend is also called the May 24th weekend, although it does not necessarily fall on May 24th. The Victoria Day Weekend is the first popular weekend for spring/summer travel.
All I can say is: thank god it's finally here. I was getting so freaking sick of the radio stations and their 24/7 Victoria Day carol marathons. ("Grandma Got Run Over By A Mountie" AGAIN?!!!)
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
“Bobble-throated slapdick.”
---Charles Pierce
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