Oh my.
I thought this was a joke when I first read it, but no, it truly is available. Not only can you get it with a $25 donation, but it is also "being given away free at institute events, to servicemen and women and on college campuses"! (see http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2004/12/22/calendar_girls/index.html for full story - subscription needed, or you can watch an ad for a 'day pass')
Disclaimer: Total Snarkfest follows below...
How did such a wonderful concept even come into being? Well,
Perhaps inspired by last year's Babes Against Bush calendar, the Luce Institute decided to print the calendar, according to spokeswoman Audrey Mullen, "because they have a lot of really terrific women in their speakers' bureau and who support the Policy Institute. They want to get the message out there that there are some terrific conservative women who are also great role models for young women [and who] are not what you see promoted in the media generally."
Here's what you'll get to gleefully post on your wall:
The 2005 calendar year kicks off with an image of Luce herself. The journalist, editor, congresswoman from Connecticut and ambassador to Italy is quoted as saying, "Do one thing well. You can have it all, but you will be very tired."
Wow. That's a real cool quote. Earthshattering, frankly!
But wait, it gets better:
Ronald Reagan's treasurer Bay Buchanan comes next and says, "I go to college campuses. I talk to these young women, as brave a people I've ever met, who have spoken out on their college campuses ... They're chastised, they're ostracized, they are literally jeered. They go up before their student bodies and the feminists show up and are screaming at them. This is on these wonderful campuses that are supposed to be for freedom of speech."
Huh?? Ah yes, those conservatives just never stop their love of pretending to be VICTIMS. And could someone please inform me where this "jeering" takes place? That could be fun to watch...
But hold on, boys, I know that Ms. May will have you salivating buckets:
...radio shrink and famed gay-hater Dr. Laura (Schlesinger). She appears, all dimples, with a helmet of straw-colored hair that seems to glow seraphically. "I deeply disdain the feminists for what they have done to generations of women and to children who pay the price of lost, intact, loving stable homes with married committed moms and dads," Dr. Laura is quoted as saying. She is surely gratified that feminists disdain her right back.
Heh - got that right!
And yet there's more beautiful conservative pin-up girls for y'all to pine for, guys!
June brings us lawyer, columnist, Eagle Forum founder, ERA buzz-kill and all-around good-time girl Phyllis Schlafly, who is followed in July by thin political pundit Ann Coulter. August's Michelle Malkin, a conservative columnist, says, "When liberals won't clam up about their sordid sex lives and we object, they call us rude. When liberal women raise their voices, they are praised as 'passionate.' When conservative women raise their voices, we are condemned as 'shrill.'" Well, if it walks like a whistle and talks like a whistle ...
Come on, admit it dudes! You are all living for the day you get to see ANN COULTER in Playboy, right? hehe
But I know the sexy conservative gal you really dream about is Condi:
Back-to-school September features the country's most powerful black woman, Oprah! Kidding. It's Condi. Unfortunately, the calendar must have been printed too late to catch her promotion to secretary of state, since she is listed as national security advisor. The best part of Condoleezza Rice's page is the smaller secondary photo, supplied by the White House, showing her with Dick Cheney in the Presidential Emergency Operations Center on 9/11, conferring by phone with President Bush, presumably from the presidential emergency "Get me the fuck out of here" plane.
Oops - I almost forgot Ms. December:
...gun rights advocate Shemane Nugent, wife of Ted, and coauthor with her husband of a book called "Kill It & Grill It." She is quoted as defending the Second Amendment, and the smaller picture shows "Ted and Shemane Nugent with their teen son, Rocco, at their ranch in Texas." In camos. All holding machine guns.
Oh man. This article made my day!
I'll step out of the way now to allow the male stampede to get to these calendars!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYONE!
;)