Today is April 7, 2005. We finally had a couple of warm days in my home town and as I was driving to work I could not help but observe the flag that fly's nearby my home at a place called "Veterans Park".
As most of our nations flags are on this day, it was at "Half Mast". I make no request for forgiveness when admitting to you that upon gazing at the flag in that position my thoughts did not turn to Rome. My thoughts were on the sixteen brave American soldiers who gave their lives for their country yesterday.
I had all day to ponder it and attempt to sort out my feelings. I never have enjoyed a significant following for my writings but I knew it was time to change my style a bit and not write what I think, but rather, what I feel.
It has been a banner 3 weeks now for the news media. With the "Death watch" of Terry Schiavo and the Pope, I am sure the ratings were great.
I tried to gather some information for my thoughts today on our American Soldiers. It is about 4:00 PM EST now I first went to "Yahoo's" home page to check the news. I clicked on "Top Stories". #1 was "Pilgrims Flock to Bid Farewell to Pope". I scanned a little farther.
"Pfizer Takes Painkiller Off Market"
"Guard Testifies He Saw Jackson Sex Acts"
"Reef Fish Seek Noise When House Hunting"
Ok, I better check the main stories on CNN. #1. "Pope's Will Revealed".
"Former guard testifies Jackson engaged in sex act with boy"
"Lance Armstrong May Retire"
"Arrest After Football Coach Shot At School"
Oh Good, There it is, down the page a bit, under "World News"
Better try "Fox News", I thought to myself. Surely they will have some information for me there. I clicked on "foxnews.com" It said "Breaking News, "Doors of St. Peter's Basilica Closed to Public"
"Former Guard: I Saw Jacko Molest Boy"
"Powerball Pot; Chances"
"Flesh Eating Bacteria Rampant"
Better check the whole page, I thought. Let me see here.
"Egg Freezing May Offer Fertility Freedom"
" Would-be Jedi Not So Bright Out There.
Nope, couldn't find it. No link on that page to yesterday's casualties. Must be "Yesterdays News" I guess.
Getting back to Yahoo for a moment another headline read, "Pope's Death Spurs 35,000 Stories in a Day".
I do not write on this day to make a political or a religious statement. These are only the ramblings of an old soldier still in service to his country.
As I sit here alone in my thoughts I could not help but wonder, "When will Pilgrims Flock to Bid Farewell to our Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen Coastguard and Marines"?
What's that you say? The Pentagon issued a directive stating "There will be no arrival ceremonies for, or media coverage of, deceased military personnel returning to or departing from Ramstein airbase or Dover base, to include interim stops.
I could not help but wonder, "What if somehow some God Somewhere had cured Terri Schiavo and she woke up bright and alert. If no one told her, how long do you think it would take her to realize that her country was at war in two foreign countries?
Would a trip to the mall do it? Would she see "Rationing of Sugar for the war effort"? Would she see factory's full of women because all the young men have gone to war?
Would she have to pull out her A, B, or C coupon for 3 gallons of gas at the station or the T coupon for 5 gallons as was done in WWII?
If Terri turned on the TV would she see our Republican politicians explaining how important our war with Iraq is to our national security and urging all American sons and daughters of the rich and the poor alike, including their own children, to enlist and endure multiple tours in combat?
Would she see the Democratic politicians speaking out feverishly against an unjust war and the reasons we were given for fighting it in the first place?
Would she see the college campuses and the Washington Mall filled with protesters against this war?
As you go about your daily routine how does this war affect your life? It seems the only time I hear it mentioned is when I talk with my wife or neighbor or someone who has a loved one involved in it. How does this war affect your life? Have you even taken the time to ponder that thought?
Perhaps I viewed that flag at half-mast today the way I did because I have lived it, breathed it, felt it, and have the memories forever seared in my brain. I have held my brothers in my arms and listened to them scream. Although most of my brothers believed in what they were doing at the time, I never heard one man scream for liberty, honor, or justice. They scream for their mothers, their girlfriends or God, providing they still have a mouth to scream with.
It is now April 12, 2005. My thoughts turn to that day 36 years ago. A group of Brave Sailors took 13 "Swift Boats" into harms way in the Dung Keo Canal. Here is the statement from the man in charge that fateful day.
Statement of CDR Paul Yost, (4578) USCG concerning ambush of U.S. swift boats on the Rach Keo River, Vietnam, 12 April 1969.
At about 1720 on 12 April 1969 thirteen swift boats, PCF from Coastal Squadron One entered the Rach Duong Keo in the following single line order: 103, 23, 67,93, 94, 5, 21, 31, 45, 9, 51,38, and 43. I was assigned Officer in Tactical Command, (OTC) and was in PCF 31. The first 12 boats were heavily loaded with approximately 23 Vietnamese Marines with equipment and supplies for a four or five day field operation. PCF 43 had 10 man UDT team on board with 1000 pounds of explosives and associated UDT equipment. At coordinates, WQ 010500, the first five boats stopped to insert their troops at a point to be determined by the Vietnamese Company Commander and his American Advisor aboard PCF 31. The boats proceeded at the maximum speed of the slowest boat which was 1500 rpm or about 15 knots, at coordinates WQ 045545 the column was taken under attack from the north bank with claymore mines, 75mm recoilless rifle, B40 rockets, .50 caliber machine guns, rifle grenades, and small arms fire. All boats immediately returned fire and attempted to suppress the enemy attack. The two lead boats PCF 5 an PCF 21 were engulfed in fire and smoke from claymore mines. In addition PCF 21 was hit with a B40 rocked (t) on the port quarter just below the main deck and both craft were sprayed with small arms and automatic weapons fire. The after machine gunner on PCF 5 QM2 MARQUARDSON was seriously wounded, and 1 Vietnamese marine killed and 4 seriously wounded. The next three boats PCF 31, 45, and 9 were raked with small arms and automatic weapons fire, resulting in the forward machine gunner on PCF 31, GMG2 Thomas being seriously wounded, and the forward machine gunner on PCF 45 being seriously wounded. Both remained at their stations until clear of the ambush. One Vietnamese marine from PCF 45 was seriously wounded. PCF 51 hit by two B40 rockets which also blew out all the cabin windows. The boat was also rocked with small arms fire and automatic weapons. he after loader, QM3 Halloway was killed in action, probably by one of the 40 rockets which hit 5" above the waterline on the portside knocking out one engine. The boat was able to proceed under one engine out of the ambush area. PCF 38 was sprayed by small arms and automatic weapons fire. The last boat PCF 43 was hit with a claymore mine, one 75mm recoilless rifle and three B40 rockets, killing the officer in charge, LTJG DONALD DRUZ USN. In addition HMC Worthington UDT Team 13, riding on the boat was killed in action and two UDT team members SM3 RUIZ and FN GARDLIN seriously wounded. PCF 43 immediately went out of control and beached at high speed in the center of the ambush area. The Officer in Charge of PCF 38 observed this action, and turned back into the area to assist. PCF 38 received two B40 rockets in the pilot house and cabin seriously wounding the Officer in Charge. These hits jammed the steering system with the rudder hard left and knocked out the port engine. T Officer in Charge, ENS Williams immediately took control from the after station, although he was seriously wounded in the left leg, and had completely lost his hearing due to the blast. Through his expert seamanship, PCF 38 was able to move outside the ambush area while suppressing enemy machine gun and small arms fire with the boat's machine guns.
PCF 39 informed the OTC of the grounding of PCF 43. Immediately PCF 5 and PCF 31 were ordered to return to the ambush site to render assistance.
LTJG WILLIAM SHUMANDINE Officer in Charge of PCF 5, and LTJG BARKER, Officer in Charge of PCF 31 proceeded with the OTC aboard directly into the ambush area. Both immediately came under heavy .50 caliber machine gun and small arms fire. Two SEAWOLF helicopters, piloted by LCDR Donald Hartman and LTJG William Wallen and having aboard CTG 194.5 CAPT ROY HOFFMANN, simultaneously arrived on the scene. PCF 5 and PCF 31 went alongside PCF 43 located less than 100 feet from the center of the ambush bunker complex. Enemy fire was partially suppressed by expert .50 caliber machine gun fire from the two PCFs and M-60 machine gun fire from the SEAWOLVES. While under fire PCF 5 attempted unsuccessfully to tow PCF 43 off the bank, while PCF 31 took aboard the men from PCF 43. Many of these men had taken cover alongside their vessel in the water and were returning fire with small arms, grenades and M-60 Machine guns. Two seriously wounded and two dead were also lifted aboard the two assisting PCF'S. PCF 5 and PCF 31 was directly responsible for saving the lives of the survivors from PCF 43. In addition the skill and bravery of the SEAWOLF pilots and CAPT Roy HOFFMAN in suppressing enemy fire while under .50 caliber machine gun attack, contributed immeasurably to the success of this operation. These SEAWOLVES under the command of LCDR HARTMANN made pass after pass with 2.75 rockets and M-60 machine guns. Two enemy bodies were found in the area the following morning and evidence of 3 more dead and 11 wounded.
The quick response, in the face of heavy enemy fire, by personnel in PCF 38, PCF 5, PCF 31, SEAWOLF 14 and SEAWOLF 16 is in the highest tradition of the Naval Service. I particularly feel that the acts of Officers in Charge of PCF 38, 5, 31, the pilots of SEAWOLF 14 and 16 were acts well beyond the call of duty since they placed their units and themselves under point blank heavy enemy fire from dug in positions in order to save the lives of their brothers-in-arms. Also, gunners and loaders on these units showed exceptional bravery in pouring out deadly accurate fire in the face of heavy enemy fire. The helmsman of the PCFs handled their boats with skill and exceptional bravery from the exposed pilot house under heavy enemy fire.
On March 16, 2001 a young woman typed her fathers name into an Internet search engine. What came up was an article titled "The Death Of PCF 43". It was written by LTJG Peter N. Upton,UDT-13, and posted on my website with the permission of Steven L. Waterman.
Upon viewing my web site, here is what she later said........
On March 16, 2001, while I was surfing the internet, entering my name and family members' names into a search engine to see if anyone had become famous yet, I made a gut-wrenching discovery. I found an article entitled, "The Death Of PCF 43".
It was an account of the last day of my father's life - with information no one in my family had ever known - written by a man who had been there, on my father's boat in the Mekong Delta, and who had witnessed him die.
It had been almost thirty-two years since the incident on April 12, 1969 that took the life of Lt. Donald Glenn Droz - and even though I thought about my father every day, I rarely talked about him. I knew asking questions about him brought up painful memories for the people I love, and so I seldom did.
I didn't tell anyone about the article for two days. The manner of my father's death was less important than was his life. It was a crude, violent postscript. What good did it do to know the story? But I kept the page on my computer - I kept going back to it - not quite believing it was true, feeling like I had somehow stumbled upon some kind of mistake. And each time, he was there.
Seeing his name - amid the adjectives and military acronyms - was like seeing his face, the face I had seen alive only once, when I was three months old. The face I knew only from pictures, under a white Navy officer's hat, smiling with those two dimples, exactly like mine. His history, my history, stared back at me from my computer screen.
The telegram the Navy sent on April 13, 1969 told us that my father had been killed while on PCF 51. Now we knew the truth - he was on PCF 43, his boat, with his crew, on a risky mission to transport an underwater demolition team and over eight hundred pounds of explosives up the Duong Keo canal. The 43 stalled, succumbing to her heavy bulk, a rocket exploded, and my father was mortally wounded.
Until now, my mother and I have never known the details of my father's death and it has been too painful to talk about his life. But with my discovery and the overwhelming grief it brings, my need to know my father, to fill the void in me with something, anything, that is him, becomes too much to bear.
On April 2, 2001 I received this e-mail.
Ø ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Tracy Tragos" > To: <ndc@mwweb.com>
> Sent: Monday, April 02, 2001 6:36 PM
> Subject: Lt. Donald Glenn Droz
>
>
> > Dear Mr. Muharsky,
> >
> > I have recently discovered your Web site, where I found Peter Upton's
> > article about the Death of PCF 43, and an account of my father's death.
> > This was information neither my mother nor I had ever known.
> >
> > The past few weeks have been very difficult for us both. We have
> contacted
> > Peter Upton and are making plans to meet him. It has also inspired me
to
> > learn more about my father. This weekend, I will begin taping a series
of
> > interviews, beginning with my mother. I have plans in the coming weeks
> for
> > additional interviews, as well as a trip to the Vietnam Memorial in
> > Washington, D.C., and to my father's home town in Rich Hill, Missouri.
> >
> > The purpose of this e-mail is to thank you for keeping his memory alive
> and
> > also to see if you might have any additional contact information you
could
> > share with me about who was on PCF 43 on April 12, 1969 and if you know
of
> > anyone who knew my father personally and would be willing to be
> interviewed
> > on camera.
> >
> > Thank you,
> > Tracy Tragos
Ø
In March of 2003, my wife and I had the honor of meeting Tracy and putting our arms around her and giving her a hug. We sat with many other Swift Boat Sailors and watched a viewing of "Be Good Smile Pretty". It is a compelling and moving documentary of one woman's search for the truth. She not only found the truth, she found her father. When she opened an old chest with her mom in her search for her father, she came across many letters that were written by Dad. He signed them, "Be Good Smile Pretty". The film was shown on Fathers Day on PBS
Please take the time to visit the web site, http://www.orphansofwar.org/journey.html and see where you may view this film. If you find it in your heart pleas click on "How To Help"
April brings sad memories for me but it is also a time of renewal. The ice is melting on Lake Erie and in a few short weeks I will once again put on my country's uniform and patrol the waters of Lake Erie as a coxswain and operations officer in The United States Coast Guard Auxiliary. Standing by my side in uniform will be the most wonderful and beautiful woman in the world, my wife.
We do so not because we feel it is our duty. We do so because we feel it is our privilege. A privilege given to us by the sacrifices that our service men and woman have made so we might be free.
Many years ago I became very skilled at killing human beings. I am not proud of that but I make no apologies for it. It is what was required of me to stay alive. Like many young boys that grew up in the 50's, I played "War" and fanaticized about having a medal pinned on my chest one day. I have six medals and 4 citations that were awarded to me for my service to my country in Vietnam. For those of you who have never been in the military there is one stark fact that you may not realize. As a general rule, the higher the medal you receive, the more soldiers died for you to receive it. In many cases the death may be your own.
On Aug 25, 2004 while serving my country I was able to save a young boy of 16 from drowning. In less than 60 seconds my mission would have changed from "Search and Rescue" to "Search and Recovery". It is also etched in my brain forever when my crew lifted him out of the water, as he had no strength left, the words "Oh God, thank you. Oh my God, thank you.
Once again I stood there while my Commanding Officer pined a medal on my chest. I do not tell you this to be vain but rather to convey to you a thought. Which medal do you think has more meaning to me?
Putting all politics aside for a moment, as I set off on patrol soon I will wonder how many of those who have given their lives for what they believed in left another Tracy Droz behind. It is estimated that over 20,000 boys and girls lost fathers in Vietnam.
How many boys and girls do you think will lose a father this time? How we fight wars and who fights them has changed sense Vietnam. How many of you have pondered this thought. How man boys and girls do you think will lose mothers this time?
I am sad to say, I do not have the answers for you, only the questions.
Soldiers do not make the decision to fight wars. The politicians do that. Soldiers just have to make the sacrifices. What are you doing to support those that fight? What are you doing to help those who can no longer fight because they lost an arm or a leg or both? What are you doing to honor those who have given their lives and to support those they left behind?
When I head out on my first patrol soon I have a reminder on the bow of my command that is in my site every minute. It's called an American Flag.
Because of my 52 Swift Boat brothers and all those men and women who came before me and will come after me that gave all there was to give, that flag forever fly's at "Half Mast" when I view it.
Be Good Smile Pretty
Joe Muharsky
RD2, United States Navy Black Berets Vietnam
Forward Machine Gunner, PCF 78, DaNang, 1968
Forward Machine Gunner, PCF 94, An Thoi, 1969
U.S.S. Brister, Destroyer Escort #327, Vietnam, 1967
Operation Market Time, Operation Seal Lords, Operation Phoenix
Coxswain and Flotilla Operations Officer, United States Coast Auxiliary 2002-
Recipient:
First "Admiral Zumwalt Humanitarian Award" from "The Swift Boat Sailors Association- 2003
Recipient:
United States Coast Guard "Search and Rescue Team 9" award 2004