I goof off here at dKos way too much. I goof off when I should be working. I goof off when I should be doing the dishes. I goof off when I could be outside in a park. I don't think I'm alone in that.
dKos became a major source of emotional support after November 2, 2004 (a date that will live in infamy). For the first couple of days after the election I spent hours and hours reading every liberal and anti-Bush site on the 'net. Kos was the one that stuck. The quality of the writing was high, and the level of discourse in the comments was amazing -- like being at a party with a lot of really smart people. (Plus, I guess I like orange.)
Just like at a real party, every once in a while an argument breaks out -- even among people who mostly agree on stuff. Sometimes the argument gets so heated that key individuals storm out of the room after throwing glassware at the wall.
Here are some things I think we agree on:
- Bush? Worst president -- ever.
- Iraq war -- both stupid and immoral.
- The First Amendment to the constitution is the cornerstone of the charter of our country, almost a sacred thing, and a darned good idea besides. We take threats to our First Amendment rights very seriously, and we do not tolerate them.
- All people, women and men and citizens of this country and non-citizens and black people and white people and smart people and stupid people and people we like and people we hate, all of them have certain unalienable rights, and among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
- US policy regarding the environment, energy, scientific education and medical research should be based on the very best science, not narrow religious or political ideology, or corporate interests.
- Our tax structure should be fair, and sensible, and promote the general welfare and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity.
- Women have an unqualified right to self-determination regarding their reproductive capacity. Abortion and contraception are a personal, medical matter, and not the state's business.
- It is not the state's business whom you love or what you and your romantic partner(s) choose to do together, provided everyone is of age. It may be the state's business to determine who is of age.
- Given that the state issues licenses of partnership to romantic couples, it has no business denying those licenses to romantic couples who happen to be the same sex as each other.
- The United States has a horribly dysfunctional medical system, a disgrace to any wealthy, technologically advanced country, and we should not be afraid to replace it with a single-payer system.
- The news media is letting us, the citizens of the United States, down. In a big way. Instead of providing a check on the powers of government and big money, it is a mouthpiece for them. Instead of giving us information, it is giving us propaganda. (Except when it's giving us sensationalistic fluff.)
- By the way, did I mention the First Amendment?
- The Republican party has become corrupt and power-crazed, and no longer even pretends to have the best interests of this country at heart.
- Right wing pundits such as Coulter, Limbaugh and O'Reilly (the triple-headed dog of hell) are creatures vile beyond measure, who have dragged the level of debate in this country down to the level of kindergardeners throwing sand from the cat box at each other.
- Our best hope to break the power of these Republican villains is probably the Democratic party. We want Democrats to do that -- to play the opposition, to get elected, to speak up and act out. We are frequently disappointed in them.
Whew! And that wasn't even an exhaustive list -- I think I could go on all day with things we agree on. Now, some things we disagree on:
- Whether patchouli smells like mold.
- Whether wearing patchouli makes you a hippie.
- What exactly a hippie is, anyway.
- Whether it's okay to make fun of hippies.
- Whether Ann Coulter is best ignored, mud-wrestled on national television, or shot with her own absurdly iconic rifle in a terrible tragic accident that was clearly and unambiguously an accident and most likely caused by her ill-advised habit of wearing high heels while out in the country with her rifle.
- Whether Ann Coulter used to be a man.
- Whether insinuating that she used to be a man is insulting to transexuals.
- Whether admitting that she is probably a woman is insulting to women.
- Whether we should waste even one more second of web time discussing that skank.
- Whether the Democrats are ever going to start doing their job, and what exactly we should do about that.
- Whether feminists are obliged to all be offended by the same things.
- Whether it is insulting to the sanctimonious women's studies set to call them that.
- Whether the fact that they get so offended when you call them the sanctimonious women's studies set kind of proves the point.
- Whether, by referring to the "sanctimonious women's studies set," you are implying that anybody who has ever taken a women's studies class is a member of the sanctimonious women's studies set.
- When I am going to stop typing the words, "sanctimonious women's studies set."
Well, gosh, it looks like I could go on all day with things we disagree on, too. But it seems to me that the "agree" list is a lot more substantive than the disagree list. We agree on our goals for this country. We don't always agree on the best way to get there, which is fine -- that's just where intelligent discussion needs to come in.
What we don't tend to agree on -- and the thing that seems to prompt the most contentious contremps at this party -- is what kind of joke is appropriate.
Q: How many Kossacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: That's not funny!
The wrong kind of joke or flippant comment seems to press people's buttons in a particular way, which is understandable. I don't know why virtual strangers seem to think it's okay to tell me blonde jokes, for example, (I guess the hair puts the idea in their heads) and blonde jokes really do bother me -- they're not blonde jokes, they're blonde female jokes fer cryin' out loud -- so I usually respond with deafening silence followed by a change of subject.
But sometimes the joke teller is a close friend who is just trying to rib me, and I respond in kind -- with a joke of my own. The context makes the joke appropriate.
I think that most of the things that have caused such a ruckus here would, if they had been said at an actual party, barely have raised an eyebrow. Or there would have been a minor dust-up, quickly mended.
(For example, I was recounting the pie fight tale to a group of friends at a party -- all of us proud and vocal feminists -- and they responded to the "sanctimonious women's studies set" comment by nodding in recognition and telling their own stories from college women's studies classes.)
But dKos is online. Online does not have tone of voice or body language, which leads even people who know each other quite well to have misunderstandings when they communicate online. A big group of strangers like dKos does not have personal context or shared experience in the same way as knowing someone in real life. And online does not have a cocktail bar and a cheese platter. But it does have thousands and thousands of people all around the world. And here at dKos I believe we agree more than disagree.
It's still a great party.