Opening
John begins by talking about the Emmy wins then moves to hurricane Rita and Senior Meteorologist Rob Cordry
Jon: Why do you think we're getting so many hurricanes this year?
Rob: I don't know... I'm a meteorologist, not a wizard ok? My best guess is this year God is just being kind of a dick.
Jon: You believe God is punishing us?
Rob: First he takes out N.O., our greatest source of music and food. Today he's taking on Key West America's greatest source of gay sex and ceramic parrots. Now, I don't know what we did to deserve this other than being warlike and hedonistic and generally having it coming.
Jon: Well, at the very least, is the government better prepared to deal with Rita then perhaps we were with Katrina?
Rob: Absolutely Jon. Whatever they're shortcomings in the past; the federal government has learned the lesson of Katrina, star blaming state and local officials now. I've already been assured by FEMA that the mayor and governor will have failed. And this time the president will not be detached. There are already plans to have him helicoptered in to save a baby trapped in raging floodwaters.
Jon: That seems to be taking a bit of a chance, no?
Rob: Nah, they've got 5 babies spread out around the area. Jon, they're confident Bush will get one.
Jon: who would give their baby to be used in that type of fashion?
Rob: You'd be surprised Jon, the GOP has a classification for that level of donor... They're people who have donated $250,000 and of course a baby
First story for the Daily Show Correspondent, Dan Bakkedahl reports on one man's new approach to helping the needy.
Face for Rent
Benjamin Rogovy *: Well there were all these guys near me on street corners holding up signs, "Will work for food or Beer." So one day I came around with... Pokerfacebook.com signs and... they held it up for the day.
*Ben: Well there were all these guys near me on street corners holding up signs, "Will work for food or Beer." So one day I came around with... Pokerfacepoker.com signs and... they held it up for the day.
Dan: It's great business sense.
Ben: I call it
Bumvertising.
Dan: ...perfect business model. Bumvertising leads people to pokerfacebook.com which encourages gambling. More gambling increases financial hardship creating more bums. Ipso facto, more bumvertising. The business grows itself.
Ben: I can't find a more appropriate word then bumvertising. The dictionary describes a bum as a lazy or shiftless person who seeks to support themselves solely by the support of others. So if we disregard the lazy and shiftless part, they do seek to support themselves by asking for food and money for rent.
Dan: I found the same thing with the word unscrupulous... not restrained by moral or ethical principles, but if we ignore the word not.
Ben (Sits there with a very blank look on his face.)
Dan: It would totally suck if the whole thing took a nose dive and you went broke and you had to stand on the side of the rode holding a sign for some jerk-off. Right?
Ben: Right.
Seriously, the jerk-off Ben had no clue whatsoever that he was being made fun of, and it made the piece even funnier. Like Jon says later, 'is this guy for real' and yes, he's for real and a total douche bag. I liked the new guy; dry wit, great sarcasm, and a good sense of timing - at least it seemed that way to me. We'll see how he does down the road. Cordry's piece was brilliant - he's turning into one of my favorites. His delivery, especially for the blame line, was superb.
Middle
Jon moves onto the environmental impact of Katrina
But Katrina's destruction was magnified by the destruction already caused by man. Louisiana's marsh lands provide an absorbent buffer between the Gulf of Mexico and N.O. But the construction of the levees, ironically, starting in the 1920's led to the disappearance of nearly 2000 sq. miles of wetlands. It's a complicated issue best summed up by Fox News's Sean Hannity
Are environmentalists to blame for the flooding problems in New Orleans?
Do you think it's possible that if environmentalists are found to be to blame for Natalie Holloway's disappearance
Sean Hannity's penis will explode?
I damn near spewed Dr. Pepper all over myself with that line. I must have laughed for 10 minutes and I'm still giggling as I write about it. This may just be conjecture, but I don't think Jon likes Hannity very much.
Interview
Alan Alda - Never Have Your Dog Stuffed
Alda and Jon talk about the book and Alda's dad who was a Burlesque singer and move on to Alda's current role
Jon: And now after this wonderful career in show business you take on another challenge on the West Wing. You, very well known as a champion of liberal causes, play a republican candidate.
Alan: Yes well, no discontinuity there. Republicans are as capable of great ideas and moving the country forward as anybody else. They just don't do it.
End and Moment of Zen
The staff here and the great crew here, all the work that they do everyday, 46 weeks a year, it really does mean a lot. We get 6 weeks off because we always want to have one more than the president in August. But, we really are very appreciative of all that has come our way and truly believe it to be a lie.
MoZ A montage of all the news networks basically saying the same thing: Rita, another Katrina.
Alda was funny. I have a personal bias because of my love for the West Wing and MASH, but when he talks about his Dad and growing up he had Jon in stitches. I can't wait for the new season of West Wing, but if a Republican wins, that's it, I'm done - even if it's Alda, I just won't be able to stand it. I couldn't take I repug in reality and in fiction - my brain would implode.
As always; mistakes, misquotes, misspellings, and all of the numerous errors are mine, and mine alone.