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[Update]: Thanks for the recommends! Some commenters want to send this to friends. Feel free to link to the spiffy PDF version (523 kb) here

- - - - -

It's all so confusing this "criminalization of politics" and "a prosecutor run-amok." Some Republicans tell me, and each other, that "the Valerie Plame-Wilson thing is all so messy. It's no big deal, right?" Their faces do weird twitchy things when they say that.

Now I see that Patrick Fitzgerald has a website to help explain his job. But it's all words. Boo! Hiss! Aren't  stories with pictures so much easier to understand?

Here, Mr. Fitzgerald, here you go...


Mr. Leaker and Mrs. Wilson

A story of secrets and no-nos and Scary Mad people.

Mrs. Wilson is a good person. She works for the President of the United States. She needs to find and keep secrets so she can catch bad guys. It's a hard job because secrets are heavy. Most of the time she just pretends to be a mommy with a normal job. But if bad people find out her secrets, she can't just run and hide because they are big. And heavy. So, Sshhh!

These are Mrs. Wilson's secret job friends.

They carry big heavy secrets, too. They work in far away countries and look for bad people also. They have to pretend not to know Mrs. Wilson's secret job. And she has to pretend not to know their secret jobs.

If one person tells about their secret job, then bad guys will think all that person's friends have secrets, too.  The bad guys will hurt Mrs. Wilson and her friends to hide their bad-guy secrets. Nobody likes to make their friends hurt and sad.

This is Mrs. Wilson's husband.

He knows lots and lots of people in Africa and is good at secrets, too. That's why Mrs. Wilson's bosses asked him to go talk to some important African people.

The important people told him some American grown-ups lied to get what they wanted. When Mr. Wilson got home, he wrote a story about how it's not nice to fib, especially for grown-ups. Especially fibs that hurt people or make them die.

This is Mr. Leaker.

Mr. Leaker has inappropriate behavior.  He didn't like the secrets Mr. Wilson learned when he went to Africa. When Mr. Wilson told the truth about Africa, Mr. Leaker and his Scary friends got mad. They got Scary Mad. So Mr. Leaker told everybody about Mrs. Wilson's secret job to get even with Mr. Wilson. That was dumb. Mr. Leaker broke the law by telling. He made Mrs. Wilson sad. He made everybody at Mrs. Wilson's work upset and sad and worried.

There are other Leaky people, too.

This is Mr. Rove. He helps the President of our country do his work. The President's job is to listen to all the people and help and protect them. Sometimes he gets really excited or tired and forgets to pay attention. One of Mr. Rove's jobs is to tell the President what to remember and what to say and who not to listen to.

Some people think Mr. Rove said "Don't listen to Mrs. Wilson's husband." Some people think Mr. Rove said Mrs. Wilson's husband should watch his Ps and Qs and stop tattling on the President. But Mrs Wilson's husband was right. Mr Rove was really mad anyway. Scary Mad.

So Mr. Rove decided to have a private meeting with his good friend, Scooter.

This is Scooter. He is kind of drippy and leaky.  Scooter works for the Vice President of our country. One of Scooter's jobs is to make sure nobody messes up the Vice President's ideas.

One day, lots of people died in some tall buildings. That was terrible. The President and the Vice President and Mr. Rove and Scooter went after the bad guys. And Mrs. Wilson helped.

But it was hard to finish. They couldn't find the Bad Guy Boss called "Osama."  That's why they decided to go after another mean guy instead. His name was "Saddam." But he was already in time out. And he didn't hurt the people in the buildings. That didn't matter to Scooter or his friend, the Vice President.  They had an election coming up and needed something new to talk about. They needed something new to scare people into voting for them.

So Scooter and his Scary Mad friends told lots of scary fibs to get people upset at Saddam. It worked. Lots of newspaper reporters believed the fibs and told Americans to believe them too. Then we had a war. Some of the fibs were about Africa. When Mr. Wilson told about the war fibs, the Vice President and Mr. Rove and Scooter got Scary Mad. Since they already knew some reporters who would believe their fibs, they told those news reporters one more tall story.

This is Ms. Miller.

Ms. Miller writes stories for a famous newspaper. She likes scary stories and tales about dying. She likes them a lot. Sometimes the stories have mistakes and her bosses have to say "Sorry!" Ms. Miller makes lots of mistakes. She doesn't like to say "Sorry!" But she really likes to feel special. She likes to play pretend. She likes Mr. Leaker. And Scooter and Mr. Rove.

This is Mr. Novak.

Mr. Novak also writes news stories. He looks scary. He talks grumpy. Mr. Novak loves secrets. He likes secrets so much, sometimes he makes them up.

One day, Mr. Leaker talked to Mr. Novak. Mr. Leaker told about Mrs. Wilson's secret job looking for bad guys. That was wrong. Mr. Novak got mad at Mrs. Wilson's husband for tattling on Mr. Leaker's Africa lies. Mrs. Wilson's husband did the right thing.

Mr. Novak got so mad, he told millions of people about Mrs. Wilson's secret job. That was wrong, too. Because even the bad guys heard it. Mr. Novak calls Mrs. Wilson "a target." That means Mrs. Wilson is in danger.

- - - - -

Sometimes Mrs. Wilson has to go deep underground for her job. It's dangerous down there, and she can't leave because of all her heavy secrets. This is Mr. Leaker and Mr. Rove and Scooter and Mr. Novak all leaking on Mrs. Wilson. This is very inappropriate behavior, isn't it? Ms. Miller says she doesn't want to help this time. She just wants to watch. And clap.

Somebody help Mrs. Wilson!

Wait! Wait, Mrs. Wilson! Somebody is coming to help.

- - - - -

Yes, Mrs. Wilson is brave. But Mr. Novak is not. He's  scared. Mr. Leaker is scared, too. All the grown-ups who lied about Africa and the War with Saddam are scared. That's because they told a lot of fibs and pretended to care about protecting people. But they really only cared about themselves and about feeling important and about hiding their goof-ups. The war with Saddam became a really big goof-up, just like Mrs. Wilson's husband said it was. He said they didn't do their homework. So they told his wife's secrets.

The police heard about this inappropriate behavior. Now Mr. Rove and Scooter and Mr. Novak and Ms. Miller and the President and the Vice President and all their Scary Mad friends are worried.

They're worried because Mr. Fitzgerald is coming.

This is Mr. Fitzgerald.

His work friends call him The Irish Bulldog. They call him that because he doesn't let go of bad people. Mr. Fitzgerald is like a policeman, except he also gets to decide if you get video games or a room-mate in jail. He doesn't like inappropriate behavior. He doesn't like lies. Especially lies that hurt people or make them die. Mr. Fitzgerald finds out Truth.

Mr. Fitzgerald will help the secret job people.
Mr. Fitzgerald will help Mrs. Wilson.

Go Mr. Fitzgerald, Go!

- The End - of part one

- - - - - - - - - -

In Part Two of our story, we'll meet some of the Scary Mad friends of Scooter and Mr. Rove and the President and Vice President. People call these friends Neocons. They play scary pretend a lot, even though they are grown-ups. But sometimes, pretend turns into fibs that hurt, doesn't it?

Mr. Fitzgerald is learning lots of things about the Scary Mad friends right now.

Until next time then, go, Mr. Fitzgerald! Go!

Originally posted to fouro on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 02:40 PM PDT.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Sweet (4.00)
    I'm sending the PDF link to all my Republican friends.

    Very nice! :)

  •  great graphics (4.00)
    how about what happens to those keeping secrets when the bad guys find out about them?
    Mrs. Wilson's friends....
  •  Very cute (none)

    The future ain't what it used to be. Yogi Bera

    by x on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 02:46:34 PM PDT

  •  This is priceless (4.00)
    Great graphics!  
  •  Wow (4.00)
    This is bleeding fantastic! A hearty recommend!
  •  Absolutely Priceless! (none)
    I love it!  Sending it to my repug friends, and even some not too bright dems.  Than you!

    We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home. ~Edward R. Murrow

    by elveta on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 02:47:56 PM PDT

  •  Eggggcellent (none)
    I hope The Bulldog pisses on off the leakers.
  •  Hmmmm (4.00)
    The Bush Administration:  Politics a-la Andres Serrano.

    Rubus Eradicandus Est.

    by Randomfactor on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 02:51:56 PM PDT

  •  When Bush was avoiding military service (none)
    by supposedly working for a campaign in Alabama, he was observed pissing on a car in the parking lot the night his candidate lost the election.  The root of inappropriate leaking?

    eschew obfuscation

    by jimG on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 02:52:40 PM PDT

  •  Fabulous! (none)

    Canadians care too...

    by jbalazs on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 02:53:11 PM PDT

  •  Excellent! (4.00)
    All we need now is Scott and Jane, and how it affects, Jane, vote.
  •  *applause* (none)

    "Conservatism makes no poetry, breathes no prayer, has no invention; it is all memory." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

    by reef the dog on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 03:03:40 PM PDT

  •  recommended (4.00)
    wow, it IS easier to follow this story with pictures.

    i'm an agnostic, i'd be an atheist if it weren't for mozart

    by rasbobbo on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 03:05:47 PM PDT

  •  Oh God.... (4.00)'ve done a great service here, and almost made me leak like Rove with that graphic of him.
  •  Get it on NBC ABC CBS (and Democrats) now! (4.00)
    This is the way to tell the story to America. Pictures with simple sentences. Seems to work. Thanks.

    The Moe Sizlak Experience, featuring Homer Simpson.

    by lepermessiah on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 03:08:36 PM PDT

    •  This is MADE for (none)
      ...Colbert's new show. I'd say TDS with Jon Stewart but it might be a little long with all the text.

      Mr. Leaker should be the new graphic for the whole subject, like Mess-O-Potamia was/is for Bush's War (with Sadaam who Was Already In Time Out.)

      Brilliant, fouro.. {{riotous applause}}

      Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?

      by Xan on Tue Oct 25, 2005 at 09:25:56 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  LOL. (4.00)
    You ought to write children's books. I guess if the Republicans want to act like whiney 4-year-olds, then we have to treat them like whiney 4-year olds.

    A good idea to discredit the latest GOP talking points would be to label them "whining Republicans" every time they use the word "overzealous."

  •  Loved this! N/T (none)

    Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. -- Margaret Mead

    by ilona on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 03:12:01 PM PDT

  •  Scary Good. Thanks n/t (none)
  •  Wonderful! (none)
     Really great job of boiling the key points of the story down to an easily understood story. Now, send this to Lou Dobbs. I just can't tell you how much his support of Judy Miller pisses me off.
  •  Forward Away!!! (4.00)
    Seriously, email this to your entire address book.  This is exactly the sort of thing that will "go viral" and get re-forwarded, since it tells the basic story, but also has enough humor value for non-political-junkies to forward it.
  •  Along the same line of thought... (none)
    ... please allow me to plug my Plame ComicsTM: #1 and #2.
  •  Outstanding!!! (4.00)

    Does the White House have a computer?  George should really be able to understand this story, don't you think?  Maybe he could have Laura or Jenna or Not-Jenna turn the computer on for him, and he could read this.  I know he's very, very busy picking out another friend for the Supreme Court, but he could read this during dinner.  Oh, and maybe Tucker Carlson and Kay Bailey Hutchison have computers too.  Do you think so?  

    "But your flag decal won't get you into heaven anymore"--Prine Pay attention Georgie - 1990+ dead Americans, 100,000+ dead Iraqis, all on your head.

    by Miss Blue on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 03:22:26 PM PDT

  •  Recommended it half way through, (none)
    I was laughing so hard. Never did that before. Too bad it really isn't so funny!!  Just a super job--great graphics. And, yes, post it wherever you can!!!
  •  I especially liked (none)
    Rove peeing down his pantleg.

    What chance does Gotham have when the good people do nothing? -Batman Begins

    by pucklady on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 03:24:14 PM PDT

  •  Rove (none)
    I just love how the graphic for Rove has a hollow spot where the heart goes, lol.  Hilarious, but oh so true.

    "But your flag decal won't get you into heaven anymore"--Prine Pay attention Georgie - 1990+ dead Americans, 100,000+ dead Iraqis, all on your head.

    by Miss Blue on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 03:27:30 PM PDT

  •  Maybe Mr. Fitzgerald's briefcase (4.00)
    should be decorated with some color other than yellow? That color already seems to serve a pretty solid symbolic purpose in your story. :->

    "There's more than one answer to these questions, pointing me in a crooked line" - Indigo Girls

    by AlanF on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 03:28:36 PM PDT

  •  Injecting a Dose of LEGAL Reality - (none)
    All this talk about the knight in shining armor riding in to save the damsel in distress is all very nice.  I can't think of a better fantasy I'd care to indulge in to actually see the criminal junta running the country into the toilet taken out of the WH in leg shackles.  BUT, let's keep our feet planted firmly on the ground, shall we?  All any of them have to do is cry "national security" and the game is over.  After all, the burden of proof is on the prosecution to prove guilt, and as John Dean over at Findlaw has already opined, I seriously doubt any of the indictments Kos readers are looking forward to will ever happen.

    Here's Dean's article for those interested in the reality of the situation from a ::::LEGAL:::: standpoint.

    •  yeah, yeah (none)
      So rain on the parade...but perhaps a dose of reality is needed every once in a while. (heavy sigh)

      I think you're needed on the frog march thread.

      "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" (Galatians 5:14)

      by SisTwo on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 03:36:52 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Ahahahaha (none)
      They're going to plead National Security while being busted for violating National Security? I don't think that worked so well for Nixon et al, did it? But you know, it's nearly as funny as most of the stuff at freeperville. :)

      What's the clangor and the clamor? Throw BushCo in the slammer.

      by MissAnneThrope on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 04:14:21 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  See my sig n/t (none)

        It is my experience that most claims of national security are part of a campaign to avoid telling the truth. - Ben Bradlee

        by sharkbite on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 04:49:53 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Strange sig... (none)

          Strange sig. Because as far as I can tell, all claims of national security are part of a campaign to avoid telling the truth. Sometimes there are good reasons for not telling the truth, sometimes there are bad reasons, sometimes there are no reasons at all... but that's the point of classifying material: so you don't have to tell anyone about it.


    •  Umm, "Zen," look for the simplicity... (none)
      Establishing in the greater consciousness that cimes were committed is almost as good. Let's expect the feeling of nausea to linger far longer than the details.
    •  I could be wrong (4.00)
      But, I don't know that the prosecutor has to prove guilt. The Grand Jury has to decide to indict beyond a reasonable doubt.

      Here is something from the Grand Jury's Handbook:

      The grand jury normally hears only that evidence presented by an attorney for the government which tends to show the commission of a crime. The grand jury must determine from this evidence, and usually without hearing evidence for the defense, whether a person should be tried for a serious federal crime, referred to in the Bill of Rights as an "infamous crime." An infamous crime is one which may be punished by imprisonment for more than one year. As a general rule, no one can be prosecuted for a serious crime unless the grand jury decides that the evidence it has heard so requires.

      The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

      by Liberaljentaps on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 05:09:49 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Oh wow! (none)
    What an amazing brilliant idea!  The simple ones always are, aren't they?  But, of course, to get that simple idea something along the line of divine intervention has to happen.  And it definitely looks like it happened here.


  •  Mr. Leaker may be the same as one of the other (none)
    figures in the story, right? We don't know yet.

    "There's more than one answer to these questions, pointing me in a crooked line" - Indigo Girls

    by AlanF on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 03:30:29 PM PDT

  •  Fabulous (none)
    As someone who's sat and tried to find a new way of explaining things, often, and with much frustration, I want to thank you for this take.  Absolutely fantastic.
  •  Excellent (4.00)
    One day I'd like to see a background story on Karl, The Boy With A Hole Where His Heart Should Be!

    Kudos to you!

  •  My My! (none)
    Are you a guy? cuz I think I'm in love:-) You speaka my language! Most certainly will show this far and wide. Thanks

    "If you're going through hell, keep going". -Winston Churchill

    by One bite at a time on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 03:45:04 PM PDT

  •  A post the whole family can enjoy (4.00)
    My 8 year old has now completed his required reading for the night.  
    Really great work...thank you!
  •  That was (4.00)
    and works BEAUTIFULLY to explain what the heck is going ON with this entire situation

    LOL, and a little pee humour ALWAYS goes a long way....

    An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind--Gandhi (-9.38, -7.59)

    by hopefulcanadian on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 03:50:55 PM PDT

  •  Some missing characters (none)
    How bout Mr. Warden, or Bubba, or Mr. Soap?

    "Constitutional Crisis Forthcoming"

    by egarratt on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 03:51:14 PM PDT

  •  is Mrs. Wilson standing on a sugar cube? (none)
    does that make this some kind of Neocon/diabetic allegory?

    "[I]n all due respect to your profession [journalism], you do a very good job of protecting the leakers." -- Bush on Oct 7, 2003

    by QuickSilver on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 03:52:39 PM PDT

    •  no.. (none)
      ..the sugar is going to melt, because the leaks will dissolve the sugar, and then there's going to be an explosion, and then a smoking gun in the form of a mushroom cloud, all because we didn't save Mrs. Wilson, and all because of the mean leaky people. So this is a very scary story. I don't like this story at all...

      "[I]n all due respect to your profession [journalism], you do a very good job of protecting the leakers." -- Bush on Oct 7, 2003

      by QuickSilver on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 04:04:47 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  cute but (none)
    apparently someone has WAYYYYY to much spare time on their hands....
  •  OK, so call me (none)
    ...a floccinaucinihilipilificator, but shouldn't the numbers on the tank run in the opposite direction? :)

    Rubus Eradicandus Est.

    by Randomfactor on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 03:55:32 PM PDT

  •  This is TOO (none)
    much fun!!!

    Thanks for the great send-up and the easy-to-follow Republican guidebook.

    Genuine intelligent design!

  •  FABU! (none)
    Absolutely FABU!

    I'm not going anywhere. I'm standing up, which is how one speaks in opposition in a civilized world. - Ainsley Hayes

    by jillian on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 03:57:07 PM PDT

  •  One of the best diaries (4.00)
    that I've ever read on Kos.  LOL, Thanks!

    Democrats give you the Bill of Rights; Republicans sell you a bill of goods!

    by barbwires on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 03:59:07 PM PDT

  •  Send this to Fitzgerald. (4.00)
    He could probably use a laugh about now.

    Or, he could just send this to the WH to explain the indictments.

  •  How about sending it to Mr. & Mrs. Wilson (4.00)
    I bet they'd get quite the kick out of it too.

    So many indictments, so little time.

    by PatsBard on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 03:59:58 PM PDT

  •  lol, brilliant! (4.00)
    ingenius, really.

    Highly recommended!

  •  Awe-fucking-some n/t (none)
  •  Absolutely fabulous!! (none)
    Thanks so much for this!  I'm going to print it out for my 8-year-old son who is trying so hard to follow this but can't wrap his head around the hard parts.  

    Again, this is terrific.  I'm sending it to my friend who is a preschool teacher.  She'll love it.  

    Jesus + Fetus = SCOTUS (math by Jon Stewart)

    by lightiris on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 04:06:31 PM PDT

  •  BRAVO! I cannot say it loud enough! N/T (none)

    (-7.50 -6.31) If the Republicans will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them. --Adlai Stevenson

    by arkdem on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 04:07:08 PM PDT

  •  this should be the complimentary kiddy web page (4.00)
    to Mr. Fitzgerald's new homepage.
  •  You laugh, (4.00)
    but I'm printing it.

    As a teacher, I have to decide when and how to address this issue with my 3rd and 4th grade special education students.

    My feeling is if and when indictments come, and it hits more of the mainstream media, it will be time. But I will have to talk about it in connection to the rule of law, the 3 branches of the US government and the Constitution.

    I have to explain it in a way that they will understand.

    While this diary actually is probably too simplistic, it will be a good beginning for me - what are points to focus on.

    Thanks fouro!

    "Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph." (T. Paine)

    by dmmteacher on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 04:11:23 PM PDT

  •  Bloody brilliant!! (none)

    The New York Times: All the news that's fixed to print

    by GOTV on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 04:12:36 PM PDT

  •  neocons :( (none)
    sounds scaaaaaaaarrrry... :-O

    republicans would move heaven and earth to save a brain dead white woman, but let kids drown just for being born below the poverty line

    by danthrax on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 04:14:08 PM PDT

  •  Send it to Bill Keller (4.00)
    It may show him what he should have figured out easily enough when he was too busy to be bothered.

    The New York Times: All the news that's fixed to print

    by GOTV on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 04:14:27 PM PDT

  •  Thanks so much. (none)
    Brilliant extrapolation.  Worthy of introducing it even to kindergardners as an introduction into their current country's politics!!!

    I just hope that the general populace rises up to the intelligence of our kindergardners.  I work with them, and they are fare more astute and aware of the "here and now"  than most educated brainfulls I know.  Too much accumulated garbage in their brains - holding on to every past thought just in case it MAY come in handy at some future time.

    Head full of conflicting opinions, ever searching for the true one, but never arriving.

    Our children cut right through this screen, and it would do all of us some good to back to where they came from  - directly from above, with the truth at their fingers (or toes, whatever).

    "How smooth must be the language of the whites, when they can make right look like wrong, and wrong like right." Black Hawk

    by Gabriele Droz on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 04:17:39 PM PDT

  •  Excellent read! (none)
    What a great job!
  •  My favorite line.. (4.00)
    But he was already in time out.

    LOL That was so well done! I loved it!

    "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross." -- Sinclair Lewis

    by Dunbar on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 04:35:29 PM PDT

  •  Dear Fouro.... (none)
    This is great!  Its always easier to understand with pictures!
  •  Brilliant, Just Brilliant (4.00)
    This should go in the dKosopedia.

    "Mommy, did people know that Bush was stupid when they voted for him?"

    by litigatormom on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 04:54:40 PM PDT

  •  Michelle Malkin trashes Hutchinson (4.00)
    Yes, you read that right.  Malkin went after Hutchinson in her column today:

    The Left had a field day over Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison's remarks on NBC's Meet the Press this morning in which she downplayed possible perjury and obstruction of justice indictments this week in the Rove/Plame/Miller/Libby/God-knows-who-else leak case. I watched the rebroadcast of the show tonight and have to say that I found Hutchison's pooh-poohing more than a bit disturbing...

    Um, has anyone suggested that special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald is a "gotcha" kind of guy who would throw away his good reputation by pursuing "technicalities" instead of "real" crimes? I haven't heard anyone on our side suggest anything of the kind. Andrew McCarthy, a former U.S. attorney and NRO contributor whose opinion I have the highest respect for, said this about his former co-worker Fitzgerald (via MSNBC):

    "He's a pit bull and he's also the best and most honorable guy I know. I think that the country is in good hands having this particular investigation, in particular in his hands."

    I'll take McCarthy's first-hand knowledge over Sen. Hutchison's insinuations.

    The New York Times, for what it's worth, reports that Sen. Hutchison's tactics are part of a coordinated GOP strategy to "blunt leak charges." If that is true (contrary to the unhinged Left, I'm not on the White House talking points e-mail list), I really object to that--and so should every other rule-of-law Republican. Perjury and obstruction of justice are serious crimes, whether committed by D's, R's, or otherwise. Period.

    Do your part for world peace - visit Iraqi Blog Count and interact!

    by Sharon Jumper on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 04:57:13 PM PDT

    •  Why do I not believe someone (none)
      like Malkin suddenly has morals? Is there an effort by some Republicans now to distance themselves?


      "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross." -- Sinclair Lewis

      by Dunbar on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 07:45:00 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Scenario number nine (none)
        She was forced to wait at a traffic light next to a park where little tots played with fake plastic guns. Her son being about the same age she smiled. Right wing radio blaring in the background: blah blah blah blab Senator Kay Hutchinson remarks blab blab blab
        Distinctive pause....
        blab blab blab War on Terror blab blab blab ...causing an ever so brief epiphany. Image of her smiling young toddler decked out in desert camo, sitting in a hummer on a dusty road. Quickly she shoves her realization away. Repeats Senator Kay Hutchinson like a mantra as she races home to scan the liberal blogs.
  •  Thank you Thank you! (none)
    I love it. Brilliant. You really should publish this. What a great stocking stuffer for Fitzmas!  
  •  Miller (none)
    Just noticed how one dimensional Judy Miller is!
  •  fouro this is fantastic. I have taught (4.00)
    elementary school for years.  This is written perfectly.  I just wish there were double and triple recommend buttons.

    Wonderful graphics.  I kept waiting for you to sneak in some yellow snow---maybe in future chapters.   How many times did you have to rework and simplify?

    I'm printing off copies to give to my granddaughters' teachers.  I will also be taking a copy to the open school my daughters went to.

    At least email I don't have to print off.

    I don't expect the copy I put on the bulletin board at work to last too long, but worth the exposure.

    Again, thanks.  You should be looking for a publisher.   I'll buy several copies.  Do you write for a living?   You should be considering it.

    ID also stands for INDICTMENT DAY.

    A borrow and binge republican's head explodes when its pointed out that the high tax era was our longest sustained growth. oooops there goes another one

    by maybeeso in michigan on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 05:12:37 PM PDT

    •  Thanks MIM... (4.00)
      Somebody upthread said I should write children's books. I sorta do.....

      If you want to communicate with a CEO, write to an eighth grade level goes the saying.  My partners and I help troubled businesses and communities to redefine themselves. (Kinda like where Ds are right now.)

      Since "Mr. Leaker" is (hopefully) speaking to politicos and media and sensible Rs, I figured I should aim a bit lower.

      The graphics were easy. Cutting out details was brutal--had to forget my inner grown-up. Next up, we try and take this and pictorialize: What's  Neocon?

      Hope your students enjoy the story!

  •  Great work (none)
    given the cartoon nature of this whole mess the pugs have gotten the nation in, I was sitting here watching CBS news tonight where they threw in this new paradigm that there is this a "Mister X" (or "Misses X" as Bob Scheiffer specifically put it) out there who is the TRUE leaker of the identity to the press and that Fitzerald MAY in fact indict THIS person and not the members of the political machine based in the White House.

    This as they were discussing how close Fitzgerald was to passing indictments...Bob Scheiffer ACTUALLY OPENED the segment by saying how indictments WERE on the way, not COULD BE on the way and that it could be as early as Wednesday.

    Now while the stories around town were hot and heavy today, CBS, still smarting after it's last tangle with this White house (after being set up with the infamous rove-planted TNG documents) would not lead with a story about how indictments WERE imminent.  That's his exact wording.  Not speculation is that...

    So then after this segment they ran the Harriet Miers story about how she's possibly going to call it quits to "take one for the White House" which is already in free fall.

    MSNBC with that twirp carlson said he'd bet money that the White House would dump Miers within the next few weeks due like a lead weight.

    Taking this all together, COULD the "Mister X." balloon actually be Harriet Miers who originally leaked?

    She was the PRESIDENT's COUNSEL.  PERSONAL COUNSEL.  He nominates her knowning no one knows anything about her, he REFUSES to release any documents SHOWING who she is and he pisses off their base because they think she's not "conseravtive enough".  AND she donated to Al Gore after praising George Bush as the most "brilliant man in the world"?


    If she's so loyal, then her act of leaking lets them throw her to the wolves in thier place with regards to Plame AND lets them dump her for Supreme Court.

    It's so out there and yet this whole Mrs. X thing coupled with the rumors that this person was pretty high up but "wasn't cheney, libby, rove, OR george"?

    Something smells here and I feel it's going to be such a political explosion when all is revealed that we may be smarting for quite a while.

    I would also suggest cooling it with the 'Fitzmas' stuff.

  •  I was very scared (4.00)
    for the good brave lady and her secret friends.

    I am glad that bulldog for truth guy will help that lady. Those scary mad guys are being bad I think. They are going to get in trouble for being so mean and for lying. That bulldog will get them and I bet their moms get really mad too because moms say "Don't you lie". Maybe they forgot.

    This is a good story. I hope the scary mean guys who tell bad lies get sent to a room for a very long time to think about it. That happens to me sometimes when I lie about who ate my sister's cookies even though no one dies when I eat them.

    They should get a spanking too and not be able to go out and play or watch TV or have any dessert or anything.

    I am glad you told us about that good truth dog guy before we hear about more scary guys. They might get mad and lie to him, I hope he doesn't get scared.

    I like when stories end with good people winning and bad people saying they are very sorry but have to go where they can't hurt nobody any more.
    I like it when we live happily ever after. I hope your story ends nice so I don't have to be sad and scared.

    I don't steal cookies anymore either.

  •  Splendfabulous! (none)
    This is great. I'm giving it to some of my unreconstructed friends who still haven't figured it out as well as my eleven year-old niece.  

    Great work. Would love to see it as an Op-ed in the Times. Doubt it will happen, but one lives in hope.

  •  effin brilliant (none)
    I especially like Mr. Rove's portrait.
  •  Hilarious (none)
    I read part of this at work this afternoon and almost fell out of my chair.  I didn't have time to read the whole thing and just got home from work and read all of it.  This is so good.  I just e-mailed it to my entire address list.  I can hardly wait for Part 2! Wouldn't it be fun to e-mail it to Fitzgerald?  

    We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home. ~Edward R. Murrow

    by elveta on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 06:05:17 PM PDT

  •  wow (none)
    This is a fabuloso idea.

    I think it needs a few more pictures,
    and it could be printed in comic book form.

    sell it cheap. really. really. really.

    truly. truly.

  •  WOW! (none)
    Applause, applause, applause applause, applause, applause!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Wonderful, I have sent it to everybody I can think of.  Please continue the saga.  A print copy would make a great holiday gift.  ;-)

  •  Very Nice (none)
    I'd love to see this in a Dr. Seusse format.


    Defending bad taste and liberalism since 2005.

    by jurassicpork on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 06:52:34 PM PDT

  •  Yahoo, Wahoo (none)
    Sent this to all my friends, repug or not. It is written so that even the Shrub could understand it.
  •  This is one of those times... (4.00)
    ...when I stand in awe.

    The spirit of Crockett Johnson would like to shake your hand, fouro.

    Hell, me too.

    (Now I gotta go send the PDF to all my friends...)

    "Nothing is as difficult as not deceiving oneself" - Ludwing Wittgenstein

    by Palamedes on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 07:30:45 PM PDT

  •  Make Money (none)
    Bind it and I will buy it !!!

    -5.50, -5.69   I'm Ghandi who happens to own a Machine Gun !!

    by Stink Tank on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 07:39:05 PM PDT

  •  Better Than My Pet Goat! (none)
    5 Stars!!!

    I think that the next time the President is sitting in front of a bunch of kids reading a little book as we're attacked, or when he's hiding out at "The Ranch" and fundraising as disaster strikes, that Laura should hand him a hard copy of this story.

    Maybe he'll learn something!

  •  Whoa.. (none)
    I sent this to everyone I know and now I'm being crushed with requests for Part 2!!  
  •  When I get (4.00)
    really stressed out, I don't take a pill. I take down my old illustrated Beatrix Potter and I curl up somewhere and I read the stories my Dad told me when I was a little girl.

    Life is scary, sometimes, even for old ladies. Sometimes you want to keep it simple. And sometimes the good guys really do wear the white hats. Sometimes things really are black and white. And certain truths are self evident.

    Sometimes the cavalry really does show up in the nick of time.

    I like your story, too.

    Good guy. Fitzgerald. Go.


  •  Fuckin' Brilliant! (none)

    "We're all working for the Pharoah" - Richard Thompson

    by mayan on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 08:47:24 PM PDT

  •  so simple even a republican could understand it (4.00)
    well, maybe...

    There is no force more potent in the modern world than stupidity fueled by greed. -ed abbey

    by elkhunter on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 09:29:55 PM PDT

  •  This is a job for CSI (4.00)
    - they could do some urinalysis to nail the leakers.

    This above all: to thine own self be true,... Thou canst not then be false to any man.-WS

    by Agathena on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 09:45:15 PM PDT

  •  So can we start calling them (4.00)
    "Republeakins" now?

    On the _9th_ day of Fitzmas, my true love gave to me.

    by lostinbrasil on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 11:06:58 PM PDT

  •  I think we should have a new section for this (none)
    like "Classic Diaries."

    On the _9th_ day of Fitzmas, my true love gave to me.

    by lostinbrasil on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 11:08:37 PM PDT

  •  You forgot the part.. (none)
    Where Jeff Gannon wishes he were in the jar getting leaked on :)

    SOCIAL SECURITY: Invented by Democrats yesterday, Protected by Democrats today

    by mollyd on Mon Oct 24, 2005 at 11:41:10 PM PDT

  •  You deserve an award for that, (none)
    You definately need to publish a book if you haven't already.


    What an excellent day for an Excorcism... SCI/Kenyon

    by DianeL on Tue Oct 25, 2005 at 01:38:19 AM PDT

  •  Here's something fun (none)
    I heard that, due to the demoghaphics of D.C. the grand jury Fitz is presenting to is 3/4 black. That in mind, there's only one thing to do: laugh like a supervillan!


    "Just when they think they know the answer, I change the question!" R.Piper

    by McGirk SF on Tue Oct 25, 2005 at 01:44:27 AM PDT

  •  Can you add an image of someone (none)
    leaking into Bush's face?  Just for shits and giggles? heh

    The people of New Orleans got left behind

    by diplomatic on Tue Oct 25, 2005 at 05:59:32 AM PDT

  •  Genius (none)

    I applaud you!  This is pure, creative genius.  Perhaps you could take over Judy Miller's spot at the NYTs.  Your writing is many years more advanced and is actually reality-based.  You'd actually make the NYTs worth a tarnished penny again.

    "The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people." --9th Amendment

    by praedor on Tue Oct 25, 2005 at 06:42:47 AM PDT

  •  Send it to (none)

    John Stewart at the Daily Show.  If they wouldn't produce a nice little slideshow/storytime skit with this they'd be insane.  Your stock would shoot through the roof too.

    "The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people." --9th Amendment

    by praedor on Tue Oct 25, 2005 at 06:46:43 AM PDT

    •  What a great idea!! (none)
      Except that the Daily Show is supposed to be fake news.  This is nowhere near fake.  But it's so good I bet there's a chance that they'd use it.  Who knows, we could be seeing a new "Daily Show  Foreign Correspondent"!
    •  If not the Daily Show (none)

      Then send it to Bill Maher.  It would likely fit better with Real Time with Bill Maher than on the Daily Show.

      "The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people." --9th Amendment

      by praedor on Tue Oct 25, 2005 at 11:08:49 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  You made my day! (none)
    Absolutely hilarious! I can't wait for Part 2. Blogs are already linking to it...I got here from

    If you just tread water you won't drown. You won't reach the shore, either...

    by Nasty Riffraff on Tue Oct 25, 2005 at 07:40:00 AM PDT

  •  How about (none)
    a pooping version?  Pooping graphics are even funnier than peeing ones.  At the end they could all be up to their eyeballs in their own shit.
  •  The best Kos diary. Ever. (none)
  •  Nicholas Kristof does NOT get the picture story (none)
    He just wrote a column in today's NYTimes
    Hurricane Fitzgerald Approaches the White House

    It so digusting because he is totally selling out to protect Judith Miller and all of the other lying sources that led us into an illegal war!

    I sent him the following scathing email this morning:

    "SHAME ON YOU!  Not a crime?  We went to war over lies, lies that were spoon feed to our government and the media and NO ONE sought to find out the truth, and you say, "no crime"?   The well known question asked of the late Senator McCarthy, "have you no sense of decency?" can now  be asked of you Mr. Kristof, and all of the journalist and politicians who think that protecting lying sources is more important than fighting for truth!

    Patrick Fitzgerald is the hero and YOU are the coward.   You have joined hands with the others who have dishonorably put self-interest above our country - I cannot begin to tell you how disappointed I am that you have stooped so low.

    I never thought I would hear this from you, a man who writes column after column about the plight of human beings, has now written the column, "Hurricane Fitzgerald Now Approaching the White House" dismissing the original crime of this scandal.  What part of the illegal conduct of this Administration to send our troops to fight an illegal war do you not understand?  

    I used to respect you, instead you have showed me that you are no better than the scum in this Administration who thought nothing of killing thousands upon thousands of innocent Iraqis and now 2,000 of our soldiers and for what?  If there is any source we need protection from it is the likes of you, this Administration and anyone who cannot face the bold truth of this scandal, WAR built and conducted on lies.

    I saw a bumper sticker the other day that read, "I'm happy to be an American but not particularly proud to be one."  -- this is how your column made me feel today!"

  •  Maybe NOW the right-wingers will get it (none)
  •  Great Story (none)
    Will there be a sequel?
  •  This Is Just So Simple (none)
    that it can't be intelligent design, just stupid scheming.

    "Invest in the Levees or Pay the Storm its Due." Join the New Covenant With America

    by Into The Woods on Tue Oct 25, 2005 at 11:41:47 AM PDT

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