The Parable of The Prodigal Son is revisited in this parody of Dick and Ahmed. To get the full effect, read the
original passage from the Bible.
Dick 15: 11-24
11 And he said, "There was a man Ahmed,
who had one source, his drunken lout brother-in-law.
12 And the expatriat said to Dick Cheney, `Father, give me the war on my homeland that I have coming to me.' And he divided the property and the people of the United States in half to fight the war.
13 Not many days later, the young sons risked all they had and took a journey into a far country, and there they fought while their civil commanders back home squandered the good name of the United States with reckless policies.
14 And after $200 billion were spent, a severe insurgency arose in that country, and Ahmed began to be in need.
15 So he went and
hired himself out as a spy for citizens of Iran, who sent him back into his homeland to run for Parlaiment.
16 And he was longing to be made wealthy with the spoils of his war, so
they gave him a position as Minister of Oil.
17 "But when he came to himself, he said, `Many of my sources did not have real intel, but I am a hero in error! 18 I will arise and go to Cheney, and I will say to him, "Father, my unique connection to the secular and fundamentalist Sunnis will help you meet your meaningless and arbitrary political milestones. 19 I am no longer worthy of Special Forces raids on my home. You must treat me as if I never threw you a Curveball."' 20 And he arose and came to Cheney. But although he was a long way off on his pre-war WMD evidence, Cheney saw him and felt compassion, and embraced him when he should have thrown him in federal prison. 21 And Chalabi said to Cheyney, `Tho I have spied against Israel and for Iran, you are really no better than me in alot of ways.' 22 So, after suffering his third heart attack of the fort-night, Cheney said to his advisor Hadley `Let us meet with him, kiss his ass, and whitewash his record. 23 And fatten the military budget again, and we will burn the poor for fuel. 24 For Chalabi was dead wrong, but is an enemy of our enemy; lives have been lost, but the rest of the Abu Garaib photos have not yet been found.'
And they began to celebrate.
HT: ThinkProgress