On the advice of Secretary of State Condi Rice, who suggested that he might want to appear to be more a man of the people to the Asian masses, Furious George decided to leave his crown and scepter at the White House.
Furious George loves to play dress up. Remembering that his daddy used to be the Ambassador to China and how successful Nixon was in China, he asked Karl and Dick if he could dress up as Nixon while he was in China.
Given all of the turmoil in Washington, they suggested to George that he might not want to have people draw that comparison, lest the dreaded "I word" (impeachment) be spoken.
Now that the American people have caught onto the tactic of diversion thru "terra-lerts," Furious George decided to embark on top secret talks with Asian leaders to export avian flu to the U.S.
Knowing that American detention and interrogation policies have caused Furious George some public relations problems, China's President offered to export some new equipment to aid in the "War on terror."
Furious George took time to chastise China for its human rights violations. Chinese leaders returned fire by pointing out America's hypocrisy on torture, the Geneva Convention, and engaging in wars not sanctioned by the UN. Furious George decided to be diplomatic and show his newly learned skill of writing Chinese - he produced a beautiful handwritten apology:
Afterwards, Furious George demonstrated that "exit strategies" are not his forte:
After dismal meetings in Korea and China, Furious George decided to make some history by becoming the first sitting American president to visit Mongolia. While in Mongolia, sought military advice from a defense contractor who was a descendant of Genghis Khan:
Bush: Dude! How was it that your great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandaddy managed to conquer them Eye-rackies and Afghanistanians?
Genghis Khan the X, President of GK exports: Why, it was because of our superior body armor - and horses. Our body armor will withstand the most powerful IED, and while those people aren't afraid of your tanks and Bradley fighting vehicles, they are like you...afraid of horses. I can give you a good deal on new equipment - and the Chinese will finance it.
Bush: Ok. I will take 200,000 of each, but we have to use Halliburton as the middle man for the deal. Dick says I can buy anything I want so long as he gets a cut of the action.
Flying across the world give one time to think - yes, even for chimps who generally lack the desire for introspection. Furious George has decided that once he returns, he is going to replace all of the members of the Administration that have caused his poll numbers to plummet. The new lineup will look like this: