This account is obviously just my feverish imagination, but I hope it will make some people think. Sorry I don't have more time to polish it up, but I think it needs to be published now rather than later.
The Abrahamic Interfaith Geopolitical Conspiracy
Dubai, United Arab Emirates, December 2001
Attendees - George Bush, Tony Blair, Crown Prince Abdullah, Osama Bin Laden, Grand Ayatollah Sistani?, Reverend Pat Robertson, Reverend Jerry Falwell, Reverend Sun Myung Moon, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, Rabbi Moishe Aryeh Friedman
Crown Prince Abdullah and Bin Laden meet with Bush to plan the removal of Saddam.
Bin Laden "You must remove that secular blight from our Arabian Peninsula!"
Abdullah "We are all men of faith here, and none of us wants to see our societies dragged under by secularists!"
Bin Laden "Mr. Bush, my faithful friend, have I not crippled and silenced the infidels in your country, as I said I would? (Bush nods, Pat Robertson nods emphatically) God willing, you shall do the same for us!"
Bush "Yessir, you sure did! Even though I expected them, I was astounded by the attacks. And you know well, and your father knew from dealing with my father, my word is my bond. I always keep my end of the bargain. We're partners in prosperity and in faith. We may not agree on every single detail, but we all agree on the big picture. I feel that God has called upon me, on all of us, to cleanse this earth of the spreading plague of sin!"
Sistani "The spread of this disease is growing in my homeland. If the faithful do not reclaim the seat of power, our country will become like yours! With respect, Mr. Bush and Mr. Robertson, America is a great country, but so many of your people are sick with social disease of the homosexuals secular infidels! Oh Allah, may this never happen to my beloved Iran!"
Sistani "But Mr. Bush, you must be thorough in your removal of the Baathists. After Saddam is toppled, you must disband his entire army, and God willing, our Madhi army will fill the power vacuum."
Tony Blair "How do you know we won't see Muslims fill the streets on the eve of the invasion?"
Abdullah "If we don't tell them to fill the streets, they will not do so spontaneously. We have an informal hierarchical network of clerics which has been reinforced at every Hajj for the last 30 years. We can control over 80% of Muslims, worldwide. There is near unanimous approval of Saddam's removal."
Jerry Falwell and/or Pat Robertson "These faggots and secular Jews are so powerful, we cannot even openly express our faith. We have one preacher in Kansas who speaks for all of us. One day, all of us will be able to speak as he speaks.
Together, we will bring morality back to God's green earth. The Godless liberals will not even know what hit them. Speaking of secularists - Mr Sistani, may I ask who you have in mind to replace Khatami?"
Sistani "His name is Mahmoud Amanidejad. His uncle is a dear friend of mine. He is an iron man of faith. Iran will be in God's hands again very soon."
Bin Laden "Yes, my brothers, Inshallah, it will be done. With the might of America, the black-gold of the Arabian Peninsula secured in the hands of the faithful, we will bring the infidels to their knees in submission to God in all corners of the world! As per our agreement, Africa will be split between Christianity and Islam. It is better that they should acknowledge Allah, but Jesus is also a prophet of Islam and this is better than worshiping dirt!"
The summit concluded with a mixed chorus of "Amen!" and "Allahu Ahkbar!"
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Now I'm not going to claim all which comes below has a high degree of accuracy. I'm just presenting things as I have come to believe they are, along with some things as I believe the very probably are.
Notes:
Falwell and Robertson agree that God lifted his veil of protection of America on 9/11. So does the pastor of Westboro Baptist Church, who seems to have been deputized by a broad coalition of Evangelicals to be their voice of conscience. "Thank God for IEDs" he says. He attacks America's armed forces as a "Faggot Army".
Rabbi Moishe Friedman, the ultra-orthodox Jew who embraces the Hitler and the Holocaust as God's punishment of wayward and sinful Jews, also agrees. This is the core of the religious conspiracy.
Throw in Reverend Moon from Korea, who leads the battle front in East-Asia and some wild African Evangelicals and Sharia enforcing Africans and you have the Brothers of Abraham.
The US never would have invaded Iraq if they did not have Grand Ayatollah Sistani's approval. They never would have risked having 60% of Iraqis against the occupation. They never would have disbanded the entire Iraqi military and deliberately chose a policy of "de-Baathification" if they were not in the service of Iran. Chalabi was an Iranian? Shiite, Sistani - Iranian born Shiite.
This was a conspiracy against the secular regime in Iraq, with the approval of Iran and the gleeful encouragement of Al Qaeda. It is likely that other Islamic and Arab governments approved of the planned invasion as well.
Saddam was a secular dictator who fashioned himself after some kind of Assyrian king. Nebuchadnezzar or Hammurabi. He was not a Muslim. His cultural pride went back to pre-Islamic glory. The US occupation deliberately allowed the destruction of the Baghdad Museum by order of Ayatollah Sistani. The destruction of the Buddhas of Bamiyan was more of the attack on pre-Islamic history. It was not prevented because it was widely approved of by Muslims in Pakistan and the Islamic world. The Baathists were the pre-Islamic cultists of the Arabian Peninsula. Assad of Syria was framed for the killing of Hariri because of Assad's Baathist solidarity. The "De-Baathification" was not just in Iraq.
Some say the reason for witholding aid from Katrina victims was that they were only respecting God's punishment of a sinful city and allowing the sinners to feel the full fury of God's wrath, so as not to diminish the sting of the rod of God. Michael Chertoff, son of a strict Rabbi, in league with Evangelical Christians agreed that God was indeed punishing the sinful city of New Orleans...
For example, one sometimes hears ultra-Orthodox Jews speak of the Holocaust as God's punishment for Jewish irreligiosity."
Vatican accused of helping radicals by backing Islamic hour in schools
http://www.guardian.co.uk/...
Remember, the old Pope kissed a Koran. The new Pope is even more medievil than the old one. Also, I've seen Islamic websites praising Christianity and condemning their true enemy, "secular humanism".