June 19, 2001
Attendees:
George W Bush - Acting President
Condi Rice - Piano Player
Don Rumsfeld - Actually touched Saddam Hussein
Dick Cheney - President
Bush: Ok, ok. We gotta get started. I had some juniper planted in the rose garden
and I'm gonna go cut some this afternoon.
Condi: Mr. President...
Cheney: Yes.
Condi: I mean...
Cheney: I know what you mean just get on with it.
Condi: We have to discuss Osama Bin Laden and Al Qaeda...
Rumsfeld: Do we know that Al Qaeda is connected to Saddam Hussein? Probably. Do we know if Saddam has
met with Osama Bin Laden? Only if we can know the unknowable.
Cheney: Shut the fuck up Don!
Bush: Al who? Is this about that guy says we had faggotty sex! I did not have sex with that man!
Condi: The PDB says that Osama Bin Laden is determined to strike in the US. We have reviewed the
PDB and we are pretty sure that the term "US" could actually mean "United States". If this...
Cheney: This is some more of Dick Clarke's crap. He is scaring the bejesus out of all of the
Cabinet. George made it clear that that was my job.
Bush: I'm telling you I never met the guy besides that animal intercourse is just too rough.
Dick Clark!! Does he work for me!!??? Oh...My...God that man just makes me drool!
He may be 100 years old but he is a hottie!
Rumsfeld: If you want to know then you have to find a way to determine what you don't know first.
It might turn out that what you think you don't know you actually already know.
Cheney: Don, eat a fuckin donut and SHUT THE FUCK UP! Ok, Condi, we got to fix this Bin Laden
thing. Move Dick Clarke down the food chain. Pick some mid-level nutters for him to
meet with and they can be sure the Cabinet guys and gals don't get too skittish.
Condi: That's exactly my point Mr. Cheney, ummm sorry, your lordship, my overlord, my master,
... oh God ... it's hot in here.
Cheney: Condi, you are one hot macaca.