I'm just settling in at Daily Kos, perusing the diary lists and trying to decide where to start when there's a knock at my front door. I think to myself, "Self, who could that be? The kids' friends think this is Home2.0. They don't knock. No reason that I know of for the sheriff to come calling ..."
I open the door to a youngish stranger: female in her early twenties dressed in jeans and T-shirt, carrying an infant dressed in a yellow sun suit and (Mom) holding a large white envelope in one hand with a logo that I recognize as the local hospital.
Young mother introduces herself: "Hi, I'm Jane Smith* and this is my daughter, Annie*. She needs seven laser surgeries to remove the port wine stains on her face ..."
So, now I can react somehow to what was obvious from the first glance at this beautiful infant. Deep red-wine skin covers 80% of her face and all of her neck. I'm not stupid and I've been too close to this young woman's position for comfort, having dealt with breast cancer as one of America's 45 million uninsured.
Jane didn't get to say much more at that point because I didn't want her to have to tell me what I already knew. Her pride had already been knocked out of her; I could offer her, at the least, some empathy and compassion. We spent a few minutes in my living room while I ohhed-and-ahhed over her sleeping child. I had $40.00 left until my next disability check comes in. I gave Jane $20 and apologized that it could not be more, to which she started to cry and mumble something about the amount.
My heart was frothing with this weird combination of empathy, compassion and blazing anger that in this supposedly rich and compassionate country, young mothers are reduced to begging door-to-door for "elective" surgery for their infants. I know a port wine stain is not life threatening. One of my daughters was born with one. But hers is just above her knee and is about 1X2 inches. However, this baby would grow up with a "stain" on her psyche so large it would be hard to overcome. She would be so obviously Different. So outside the societal norms of female beauty. People would avert their eyes, or stare, or do that glance-twitch thing, waiting for a cue as to how to proceed within the acceptable bounds of this individual.
School ... imagine this infant at age 5, starting kindergarten. There would be the whole range of reactions from the other children. Which reactions would this girl-child incorporate as her vision of Self? Why should she even have to fight that battle if modern medicine could literally erase the stains that made her "different."
oh, yeah. I forgot. She didn't choose more affluent parents. Shame on that child. Shame on that mother for not working more jobs--all without health insurance, but so what--you aren't among the Elect. Deal with it.
Except
this mother's love was so strong she would go door-to-door, living through each endless minute of absolute, heart-thumping fear that This stranger will berate me, but maybe not. Maybe This stranger will care ...
I don't know that I could do what this young mother has done today, out of love and desperation.
Today, she's my hero. I only wish I could have done more.
BTW, before she left, I gave her a hug. I also asked her if she votes. She said she does. I reminded her that there was an election coming up and that our Governor and Representative were both Republican and opposed to universal health care.
Vote them out, I said.
*Names changed to protect their dignity.
INTERIM UPDATE: (dont know how to code that properly)
What a great group of people hang out here. You--we--are the leaders we need; some of us in big ways, most of us in small ways. But you give me hope.
i had to step out to drive my son to work. On the way home, I stopped at the corner market here in the ville, hoping I'd see one of those fund-raising jars. I asked the young lady clerking tonight if she knew anything about this young mother. She didn't. That disappointed me, but didn't really surprise me. We've got a half-dozen little towns strung along the old state highway at 5-10 mile intervals. She may be from one of those little towns. I'll try searching for more info tomorrow.
The scam warnings are taken in. There is always that chance, but this infant's face and neck wasn't a scam which makes me believe the need was real.
I will let the community know when--if--I have any success in tracking her down. the folks at the market know I'm looking so if she comes in there she's going to be told that someone (many someones actually) want to help.
Bless all y'all