In the last couple of days since the arrest of Warren Jeffs, head of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints group, I noticed that many of the articles were sounding like they had been written about the fundamentalist, inbred republicans running our country.
For fun I ran a few of them through the "find and replace" function of Word. I went back through them and changed names, places and took out irrelevant parts. Here they are for your perusal.
By the way if anyone finds this politically incorrect or insensitive in any way, go jump in a lake. (uh...but if I am breaking any copyright rules, let me know)
Republicanism Persists Despite Opposition
Real article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/...
KANSAS CITY. - Roy Republican chuckles when asked to explain why the practice of republicanism persists. The outside world, he says, just doesn't get it.
"We just grew up in republicanism," said Roy a 70-something former republican and local historian. "It's part of our life. I don't know how else to say it."
Roy has lived along the Utah-Arizona border since the neighboring towns of Kansas City, Ariz., and Kansas City, Utah _ home of the Republican church _ were still known as Short Creek.
"They believe that it's necessary to gain their exaltation to the highest level of heaven," said Ralph, a resident of Kansas Beds, which is just east of Kansas City. "They've been taught that since the day they were born. It won't change."
Not even with the prosecution of republican leader George Bush.
"He's not the sole supporter of republicanism," said Gwen, a Kansas City woman who grew up there and registered republican at 17. "It's a religious belief.".
"Anybody who expects republicanism to go away is a fool. It's been here 100 years and is not going to go away because one guy gets arrested," said Lenore, a former republican member who fled the community in 1996 and now works to help women and children who also want to leave the lifestyle.
The republican church is just one of a handful of Kansas-based fundamentalist groups that continue to practice republicanism.
If history is any indicator, Bush's legal troubles should only serve to move him toward martyrdom, said Ken , a Kansas defense attorney who has written extensively about the legal history of republicanism.
"Historically, it's generally made martyrs out of the people who get prosecuted," he said. "They come back revered."
Bush is already revered as a prophet. As head of the republican church since 2000, he has controlled the sect's beliefs. He is known to demand obedience and has reportedly used even minor infractions as grounds for booting some men from the republican church, forcing them to leave their families behind.
More than any republican leader before him, Bush has used fear to manage his flock, Ken said. But it's unfair to say that everyone lives and worships here under duress, he said.
"The majority don't want to leave," he said. "They're an intelligent people and within their belief of republicanism, they are a moral people."
Lenore doesn't deny that some in the republican community don't want to leave, but she also believes many are naive and lack experience to structure their lives and families another way.
"When you're taught from birth that if you don't live this way you're damned to hell for eternity, that's not a choice," she said.
Ken said Bush's incarceration now and after any conviction would likely be seen by republican church members as another test of faith, but it might have a moderating effect on blind faith.
"That's where the legal pressure is coming from. It may not stop, it may just happen a lot less," he said. "But it won't stop blind faith and stupidity.
What outsiders fail to understand is how deeply the practice is rooted in religious commitment and heritage, said Ken.
"It's been my experience down there that the women are as committed as the men, sometimes more so," he said. "(Outsiders) think it's about sex and power and domination, but it's about a lot of other things. This is what they were raised in and it's multigenerational. It's their culture."
and then there is this article
Danger signs of abuse within the republican party *
Real article at: http://www.polygamy.org/...
* Control over private lives and decisions
* Expecting attendance at multiple republican church services and activities
* Dictating decisions that should be made by the entire family.
* Manipulation of registering to vote: arranging for people to get registered republican
* Telling women to stay in abusive republican situations and accept the abuse as "correction from the Lord".
* Threats or intimidation.
* The group seems perfect: everyone agrees and follows orders cheerfully.
* The group claims to have "all the answers" to your problems.
* You begin to feel guilty and ashamed, unworthy as a person.
* The group speaks in a derogatory way about those outside the political affiliation.
* Outsiders are defined as unable to understand and help you with political or religious matters.
* Males are believed to have more rights and abilities than females.
* Leadership is never shared.
* Someone frequently prefaces his or her remarks with things like "The Lord has told me."
* An authoritarian leadership that claims exclusive access to God's will.
* Total control over members' daily lives.
* Exclusivity and isolation.
* Development of unhealthy emotional dependence.
* Prohibition of critical analysis and independent thinking.
* Practices methods of ego destruction and mind control.
* Discouragement of free and independent pursuit of education. _
A cult is a cult, of course, of course
*Republicanism prevails in remote Kansas Town
real story at http://www.rickross.com/...
_The pecking order for republican members is unwavering: Children are subordinate to their mothers, who are subordinate to their husband, who is subordinate to the republican church prophet, who answers to Jesus Christ.
"I have to be a chauvinist in order to manage my family," said high school teacher Rick, who has 14 children with his two wives but has left the republican church and questions gender roles in the community. "The women give their minds over to the men. They're really, really good, if you want a Stepford wife."
Families have intermarried as registered republicans over the decades so that husbands and wives commonly are stepsiblings and cousins. Visitors remark on the number of children who suffer from physical or mental disabilities. "It's the incest capital of the world," said Susie, co-founder of Intelligence against Republicanism, a Kansas group pushing for investigations into such communities.
"These huge families are forced on each other," added Susis most of whose republican siblings haven't spoken to her since she split from the republican church not because of republicanism but because of what she describes as the group's increasing cultishness. "They're all living like sardines. It's all incredibly unhealthy."
Not so, counters one republican church defender, who touts the community as "a piece of lost Americana." "Everyone talks about family values, but these people, they've really got family values. They're more committed to family than anyone else I've seen in America," said Tom, a lawyer representing the republican church.
Tom dismisses apostates' allegations as sour grapes. "They probably feel pretty badly that they've devoted large chunks of their lives to the republican church. They're pretty bitter about that. They have their own agenda and will tell their yarns to anyone who will listen," he said.
Nestled between high vermilion cliffs, Kansas City is an ideal spot for seclusion from the outside world. It's located in a remote strip of Kansas separated from the rest of that state by the Grand Canyon. The 425-mile drive from the Kansas County seat in Kansas keeps social workers, investigators and sheriffs away.
The city's mayor and council members come from the republican elite. Even police officers, known among dissidents as the "God Squad," practice republicanism. "That's none of your business," Police Chief Tom said of his home life. "It's a religion and we have the freedom to do that. We're not infringing on anybody. Don't we have the right to practice our religion?"
"You get killed quicker in government doing your duty than turning your back," Tom was quoted as saying. Having forged a powerful bond as martyrs, families regrouped here during the late 1990s, determined to rebuild stronger than ever.
The elder Bush left most oversight of the republican church and its business holdings to his son, George. George Bush, who lives next door to his father in their huge, heavily secured compound, refused to be interviewed for this story.
Said Tom: "It's like asking to interview the pope." Predictions of doom`and ascension As several townsfolk tell it, Bush has prophesied a mass lifting up in which only the most devout will rise to heaven. The ascension is supposed to take place from the community garden in the center of town, which dissidents call the "launching pad." Bush is said to have named several dates that have come and gone with no apparent heavenly rapture.
"They've predicted so many doomsdays that I think it's messing with their mental processes," Gerald said. Tom said apostates make too much of the predictions. "The republican church does believe the end is near. But I can assure you that no one has set a date," he said.
To prepare for the end, Bush preaches increasing isolation from the secular world. He urges his flock to avoid newspapers, television, the Internet and other exposure to outsiders, known as "anyone but us." The town radio station shuns popular songs with lyrics, broadcasting mostly upbeat, patriotic or religious instrumentals. Computer bar codes printed on most retail products are believed to be the "Sign of the Beast."
Children have little contact with kids outside their republican faith because they generally don't play fair, which is considered unspiritual. Their main pastime is bouncing on the massive trampolines in front of nearly every home.
"Jumping on those tramps was the only freedom we had growing up. In a way, it was the closest we ever really got to being lifted up," said Susie, a 30-year-old mother of four who says she and her husband were booted from the republican church last fall after they questioned Bush's authority.
In a move toward further isolation, Bush urged parents last summer to yank their children out of public school. Contact with non-believers, he said, could hurt their prospects for the afterlife. As a result, about 800 kids - threequarters of the school district's entire student body - didn't show up for classes in September.
"Bush didn't like that they couldn't teach religion in school," said Kansas County schools superintendent Mike. "Parents felt that if they didn't pull their kids out they'd be excommunicated."
Community leaders defend the mass exodus, saying they're preserving their culture. "I'm convinced that there's never been a time that parents have taken such an active interest in education," said Mayor Sam. "You being from Kansas, you know there's some major problems in public schools these days."
During a recent visit to Kansas City, school-age children were seen playing in their yards during school hours. Officials say lax laws in Kansas give them no authority to monitor whether those students are being taught either at home or at the republican parochial school, nor to check the qualifications of the people supposed to be teaching them.
"That's the way the law's written. Nothing I can do," Joe said. Others suspect that parents are trying to avoid outside oversight. "They know that if we have access to these students we'll find out what's going on in the community," said Larry, a Kansas state senator who has authored several bills to fund probes into republicanism groups. "A child that's not in school is a child that can't tell a counselor they're being abused."
There - see how easy that was? Your turn.