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A single anonymous message sent on the internet has threatened that seven NFL stadiums will be hit with dirty bombs this weekend. Despite the fact there's utterly no intelligence supporting this threat, Homeland Security officials have decided to alert the public "out of an abundance of caution."

I find myself pondering the question of whether the prospect of being irradiated might just perk up the NFL season a bit. I mean, who isn't sick of hearing about T.O., seeing Tuna on ESPN, or watching the spread evaporate in the fourth quarter? If the score is getting lopsided, maybe the crowd could amuse itself in watching the terror alert change from yellow to orange during the third quarter. And, was Jose Padilla a Bears season ticket holder? That might just be the damning evidence DoJ needs to convict him.

There's a touch of seriousness at the bottom of the snark here. The creation of false drama, a sense of a neck and neck race where the good guys just might not win, dead ends that lead to sudden surprises, that combination of pretending to be an underdog while flexing your muscles and smashing your opponents with glee - all that makes for a good football game, and seems to be behind the reasoning of a lot of "terror alerts". (Not even to mention your basic Hollywood action thriller plot. It's OK, Jack is really alive at the end of the second half!)

Every time I read about some whacky plot -- hobos from Miami plotting to blow up the Sears tower, the Liberty/Library tower being crushed under a pile of overdue books, somebody secretly replacing the barbecue sauce at the ranch with airplane glue -- my first reaction these days is, hmmm, the writers up at the DHS office must've gotten a memo from their executive producers to spice up the plot line a little bit because the focus group looks like they might flip the channel.

President Nixon used to send in plays to the Washington Redskins' coach during the game, and it strikes me that if NFL games are now the bleeding edge in the war on terror, we might benefit from President Bush taking a similar interest. We could redeploy our special forces to the Oakland Raiders' front line, set up Comms with Central Command, and simultaneously improve the football and have an instant response team already on the field -- just in case.

Originally posted to TheCrank on Thu Oct 19, 2006 at 09:44 AM PDT.

Poll

Hearing about the threat of dirty bombs in the NFL makes me...

31%9 votes
3%1 votes
17%5 votes
24%7 votes
24%7 votes

| 29 votes | Vote | Results

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tips for the Cheerleading Squad (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    aimeeinkc, raster44

    Go, Team, Go! USA, USA, USA!

    Democrats: soft on terror. Republicans: hard on pages.

    by TheCrank on Thu Oct 19, 2006 at 09:44:38 AM PDT

  •  Even Bush couldn't make my Raiders (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Bob Johnson, TheCrank

    any worse than they are now.  And that is saying something.

    Fortunately we also have the Chargers within driving distance, so I'm jumping on their bandwagon for the foreseeable.

  •  Cowardly Bears Cut and Run! (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    TheCrank

    They don't play this weekend.

    Remember when we were against torture, before we were for it?

    by pshaw on Thu Oct 19, 2006 at 09:49:18 AM PDT

  •  Isn't the Dirty Bomb a deep passing route? (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Bob Johnson, TheCrank, isis2, Pandoras Box

    "Okay guys, coach called the Dirty Bomb.  Marvin, you run a deep post while Brandon runs a crossing route over the middle."

  •  When I heard Wolf Blitzer spewing this stuff (0+ / 0-)

    last night on TV, I thought "is this their October surprise?" No credible evidence - but let's talk about it 24/7 - are they now trying to get the football fans along with the nascar dads?

  •  Please don't take out the Bears. (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Miss Devore, aimeeinkc, sxwarren

    The Cubs?  Go for it.  But we finally have a good football team and I'd hate like hell to see them go all  radioactive.

    Although a radioactive Brian Urlacher may be even more dangerous than his current incarnation... if that's possible.

    WOMAN: My cat's in the tree! MY FATHER (a fireman): He'll come down. WOMAN: No he won't! MY FATHER: Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?

    by Bob Johnson on Thu Oct 19, 2006 at 09:51:57 AM PDT

    •  Comment gets a '4' for the sig. n/t (0+ / 0-)

      Private life is all about managing pain. In business and government, this means externalizing and deferring costs whenever possible.

      by sxwarren on Thu Oct 19, 2006 at 12:40:59 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  That's a true story. (0+ / 0-)

        My father is retired and has been for many years, but back when he started on the fire department, they still responded to "cat-in-tree" calls.

        He evntually went up to get the cat and the cat bit him through his glove. He squeezed the cat around the neck, cam down the ladder and said, "Ma'am, here's your pussy!"

        WOMAN: My cat's in the tree! MY FATHER (a fireman): He'll come down. WOMAN: No he won't! MY FATHER: Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?

        by Bob Johnson on Thu Oct 19, 2006 at 12:43:57 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  •  Sounds like a targeted fear campaign (0+ / 0-)

    meant to rile up the GOP base.

    Next week they'll say all the NASCAR tracks and stadiums have been "targeted."

  •  Weren't the Dirty Bombs (0+ / 0-)

    the Atlanta Falcon's recieving Corps in the late 90's?

    meh. I can never keep up with all these whacky nicknames these days

    Knowledge is power Power Corrupts Study Hard Be Evil

    by Magorn on Thu Oct 19, 2006 at 09:53:27 AM PDT

  •  signs-- get creative (0+ / 0-)

    this weekend i hope to see people in the stands with some good signs mocking the dirty bomb thing... and dirty bomb weenies. so many possibiities for ridicule!  

    hey, there's some good sign material right here in this diary already.

    I wouldn't mind turning into a vermilion goldfish. --Henri Matisse

    by isis2 on Thu Oct 19, 2006 at 10:07:16 AM PDT

  •  meanwhile (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    TheCrank, emmasnacker, sxwarren, Arken

    there was a SUICIDE BOMB ATTEMPT on SEPTEMBER 11 in Davenport, Iowa.  You might not have heard about it, because it was a white guy, bombing an abortion clinic.

    No national newspaper, magazine or network newscast reported this attempted suicide bombing, though an AP wire story was available. Cable news (save for MSNBC's Keith Olbermann) was silent about this latest act of terrorism in America.

    Had the criminal, David McMenemy, been Arab or Muslim, this would have been headline news for weeks. But since his target was the Edgerton Women's Health Center, rather than, say, a bank or a police station, media have not called this terrorism -- even after three decades of extreme violence by anti-abortion fanatics, mostly fundamentalist Christians who believe they're fighting a holy war.

    Thank your personal God (as long as it isn't Allah) that we have trained professionals like FEAR Unit (Federal Even-yeared Anti-terror Response) to tell us what might be TERRORISM!, and what's nothing more than a white antiabortion activist trying to suicide bomb a women's clinic on the anniversary of the biggest terrorist attack on American soil.

    D-Day, the newest blog on the internet (at the moment of its launch)

    by dday on Thu Oct 19, 2006 at 10:07:33 AM PDT

  •  Loved your Poll (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    TheCrank

    This was probably posted by someone in Homeland Security who wanted to see what would transpire with the neocon on top. It was probably just harmless joking around like those Foley instant messages.

    Give a yellow!

       Give me an Orange!

            Give me a Red!

                  What da ya Got!

                        Sunburned Florida Neocon

    Truth, Justice & the American Way Wesley Clark 2008

    by raster44 on Thu Oct 19, 2006 at 10:28:50 AM PDT

  •  Bombing Giants Stadium would be redundant (0+ / 0-)

    Sunday's matchup between the Detroit "Lions" and the New York Jests will cause enough suffering.

    "I'd rather ride the buses in the minor leagues than practice law for a living."--Tony LaRussa

    by Dump Terry McAuliffe on Thu Oct 19, 2006 at 10:59:01 AM PDT

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