LA-LA-LAND, USA - President Bush launched a bold new attack on Democrats in the final days before Tuesday's election, blaming the Iraq debacle on an "awol" president Gore.
"The Democrat president didn't even bother to show up for work in 2001 and look what happened," Bush said to a cheering trio of paid supporters. "President Gore was awol when America was attacked on 9-11. Why should we trust any Democrat with our security now?"
Bush also placed the blame for the Iraq war, which most Americans now see as a mistake, on Gore and the Democrats.
"If Gore and the Democrats had been doing their job, we wouldn't be in this mess," Bush said. "But now that we're there, we've got to make the best of it and you can count on the Republican party to win this war and make it profitable for those who are willing to do the hard work."
The tacit admission by Bush that Gore won the 2000 election and thus bore responisiblity for both 9-11 and Iraq was greeted enthusiastically by Republican pundits.
"The bottom line is that both 9-11 and Iraq happened on the Democrat watch," said New York Times columnist, David Brooks. "Or the Democrat non-watch, as I like to call it."
Polls have increasingly shown public dissatisfaction with the war in Iraq and the President's handling of it. Most Americans blame the Republicans for the failures both in Iraq and in the larger War on Terror.
"But all that will change now," said Brooks. "The President has rightly placed the blame where it belongs: on the Democrats. Once the public realizes that it was Democrats that lead us, through their inaction, into this debacle, they'll make the right choices on Tuesday."
"Oh yeah," Brooks added, "did I mention Clinton?"