There are so many bad things that happen in the world that we can't avoid: earthquakes, cancer, aneurysms, tsunamis, tornadoes, mudslides, avalanches and our family's own personal heartbreak: car accidents. 26 years ago today (at 11:30 pm EST) our first child was born. She was beautiful and intelligent, loyal and strong, poetic and principled. She died at age 18 in a car accident that was no one's fault, an accident that happened despite everyone doing everything right. One of her best friends, a lovely vibrant girl, a real leader, also died in the accident.
So, what do we, her family, owe her?
We owe her a better world.
We owe her our unstinting efforts to make sure people get justice:
the detainees at Guantanomo -- she would have been furious at their treatment; the tortured souls at Abu Ghraib; the "suspects" rounded up and held for months and years w/o contact with the outside world after 9/11; the people wrongly accused of crimes because of police or prosecution misconduct; the people wrongly executed for murder; the victims whose rapists, attackers, molestors still walk free; the government whistleblowers driven out of their jobs.
We owe her protection of the most vulnerable in our society: food and shelter for families who lack them; taking care of children whose families cannot take care of them; the high quality education our children deserve; health care as a right, not a privilege; training and work for people whose jobs move to other countries; mental health treatment for the walking wounded, those sadly insane wandering our city streets; the dignity of a decent income for our elderly; safety and security in even the poorest of our neighborhoods.
We owe her an intact earth:
Protecting the old growth forests, the magnificent towering trees; cleaning our water so that our rivers and streams still sparkle with beauty; reducing our use of oil and other polluting, non-renewable energy sources; eliminating the release of pollutants into our environment -- pesticides, chemical and radioactive runoff and waste, car emissions, medications; preserving the species, animals and plants, that our earth is blessed with.
We owe her fairness:
Making marriage between 2 consenting adults legal; protecting gay people and minorities from discrimination, from beatings and mistreatment; decent legal representation for people whether they're rich or poor; fulfilling MLK's dream that people "will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."
And we owe her peace:
No more pre-emptive wars; no more attacking others out of pride and arrogance; no more killing for the greed of some belligerent leaders; no more spending our resources to force our own young people to kill others and to be killed for no good reason.
I can no longer give my daughter the things most parents give their children. But in her honor, in her memory, and in my heart, I would like to give her a better world.