I have grown increasingly concerned about the present national political dynamic's complete lack of discussion about me. It's been more than three weeks since the election, yet neither Nancy Pelosi nor Harry Reid has called to congratulate me and ask my opinion about everything. There is much to do, and I'm beginning to fear that this unique opportunity is slipping away. Even here, on my chosen blog, hundreds of diaries scroll by every day, and not one is ever about me! I'm beginning to think that no one gets it. Certainly, I am receiving neither the respect nor the attention I both want and deserve. Suffice to say that I am certainly up to the task of receiving it. I have anecdotal evidence to prove it.
I have followed politics ever since I realized it was worthy of my attention. There are many subjects for which this has not been the case. I consider myself somewhat of an expert on politics. I understand things. I am knowledgeable. For example if anyone bothered to ask, I could tell them that Harold Ford lost because he received less votes than his opponent, and that Sherrod Brown won because he received more than his. I am certain that Hillary Clinton either will or won't run for President, and that if she does she will either win or lose. These are irrefutable facts, and yet, people on this blog discuss these issues endlessly every day without ever bothering to wonder what I might have to say about them. I find this profoundly disconcerting. I don't know how we can expect to triumph, both in domestic politics and foreign policy, when my critically important voice is almost completely shut out of high level discussions.
Now, I don't want to point fingers, but you know who you are. At least, I hope you know who you are, because this is a blog about politics, not existentialism. But if you ever post a diary or comment without first thinking about my reaction, I am speaking to you. It is inappropriate to post something if I don't find it interesting. Some of you even post diaries or comments that are all about yourselves. All I can say is: who cares? Don't you realize how self-indulgent that is? Don't you realize that the problems of you little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world? Don't you realize that my problems do? In fact, my problems amount to more than a hill of beans. My problems amount to at least a mountain of mashed potatoes. Preferably garlic mashed potatoes. Do any of you ever ask whether I prefer plain or garlic mashed potatoes? No. Even the nurse waitress in my ward favorite diner is politically astute enough to ask whether I prefer plain or garlic mashed potatoes!
So, I just wanted to give you all a heads-up. This matters. A lot. To me. And no more pictures of ponies and pooties! What do you people have against wildebeests and yaks, anyway? So, shape up! It's time for you all to live up to the potential this blog provides.