Wesley Autrey, seen seconds before leaping unselfishly into action
Washington, DC (UPSI) - Wesley Autrey, the famed subway hero, tonight found himself in an identical situation in the nation's capital and again reacted instinctively in an act of selfless bravery. He is being credited by witnesses present with this time saving the life of President George W. Bush.
As the president's State of the Union address was winding down in Congress, an alert Autrey took notice of the president's obliviousness to the bus of public opinion within the building barreling down upon him. As a bipartisan group of senators actually tossed the president under the bus, Autrey leapt to the president's aid, wrapping him in the safety of his own heroism as the bus passed over the two of them, leaving them both unharmed.
"I just reacted," stated Autrey, " I don't think what I did was heroic at all. But I've got to tell you, this was spooky... like Yogi Berra said, 'déjà vu all over again'... I'm probably going to have nightmares about this."
Presidential aide Karl Rove stated that the president had expressed his profound thanks to Autrey, and insisted that the president was uninjured but just a little shaken. Rove announced that the White House had subsequently seized all videotape from networks telecasting the speech up to the incident in question. "We will be conducting a painstaking investigation in cooperation with the Secret Service and FBI," stated Rove, "we have some good leads, and with the help of the videotape we are confident that we will be able to identify and bring to justice all those involved with this attempt at throwing the president under the bus, particularly the Republicans."