There's something about flying down a blacktop mountain road with a logging truck on your ass and a semi charging straight at you that's perfect for a mournful old country song:
And now as evening lays its shawl
Across the shoulders of my life I have defined
I couldn't tie my life together
With the guitar strings and a poet's heart full of pride
But somehow I land unscathed at the foot of that mountain, only to look out into the meadow before me, with its redbuds and dogwoods and fields of wild onions, all memory of my brush with Death by Crazed Trucker vanished.
And so it was just another hillbilly joyride in a land where there are no housing covenants, much less building codes, and where wild onions are considered the stuff of the gods and a meal fit for kings.
Good Eats
Onion skins very thin
Mild winter coming in
Onion skins very tough
Coming winter very rough
Come Spring every year, wild onion dinners start breaking out all over in these parts. You can hardly go a day without hearing about another one held for whatever reason: as an excuse for a pie auction, or to raise funds for some old codger's new roof --- or just because.
The dinners don't differ all that much; wild onions are best cooked in scrambled eggs, although some serve them with fry bread, sometimes in the form of Indian tacos (a surefire way to give yourself myocardial infarction by morning).
The best wild onion dinners also offer grape dumplings and brown beans, maybe some venison or squirrel, and, if you're lucky, kenuche (ground hickory nuts, hominy, cinnamon and sugar) and sassafras tea.
But even without all that, a wild onion dinner simply isn’t to be missed. Not only is it great food, it’s a chance to spend time with people you haven't laid eyes on since last fall and give thanks for having made it through another long, hard winter.
And it's homage to our past --- because, you see, eating wild onions in the early spring is an ancient tradition, predating agriculture and the first gardens in which evidence of their cultivation have been found:
Onions grew in Chinese gardens as early as 5000 years ago and they are referenced in some of the oldest Vedic writings from India.
[...]
The onion symbolized eternity to the Egyptians who buried onions along with their Pharaohs. The Egyptians saw eternal life in the anatomy of the onion because of its circle-within-a-circle structure.
[...]
In Numbers 11:5, the children of Israel lament the meager desert diet enforced by the Exodus: "We remember the fish, which we did eat in Egypt freely, the cucumbers and the melons and the leeks and the onions and the garlic."
And they weren't just found in Asia and the Middle East; the earliest Europeans arrived in the Americas, only to find wild onions everywhere and a long tradition of feasting on them already well establish.
It only makes sense. Not only do wild onions taste good, they're one of the first edible greens to emerge in the spring. And because they’re high in Vitamin C and other important nutrients, they were a welcome sight in the eons before our supermarkets and boutique health food stores, providing crucial nutrition after a long winter with no vegetables.
And today, we can honor this ancient tradition by gathering them in the wild or cultivating them in our own yards --- along with the dandelion and clover.
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How to Hunt The Wild Onion
Many, either by necessity or by choice, hunt the wild onion in its native environs --- which means doing battle with the fearsome tick.
Because, while Minnesota has its mosquitoes the size of B-52s, we have our ticks the size of pampered chihuahuas, and just as mean --- a fact anyone in pursuit of the wild onion should keep in mind when preparing for the hunt.
So the savvy hunter chooses one of two outfits: white teeshirt, light colored shorts, socks and tennies; or, jeans tucked into socks and tied down with extra shoestring, teeshirt tucked into jeans.
Undies are not recommended. Ticks find undies perfect cover for their devious activities. Wearing them will only lead to all manner of chaos when the ticks find their way into them (which they will) and start bustling around for a choice bit to chomp on.
Be sure to limit your activities to an area with adequate cover for the necessary immodesty of pulling off ticks. And whatever you do, never ever choose hunting companions who aren't immune to the sight of your fat ass hanging out while you smack down the tick.
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How to Tame The Wild Onion
Of course, some (like me) have wild onions growing in their own back yard, which eliminates the necessity of hand to hand combat with the fearsome tick.
If you do, it’s pretty easy to cultivate them so there’s plenty more in the years to come. Just make sure to only snip off some of the tops, leaving enough standing so the onion can flower and go to seed. And don’t pull up every one you can find --- leave some in the ground.
It takes some patience and self-restraint, but you’ll be glad in the years to come.
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And While You're Out There ...
Be sure to admire how much the new little guy has grown:
... and how the yarrow and dandelion you carefully mowed around last year are taking off:
... and don't forget to offer well deserved praise to the first blossom on the blueberries:
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How to Cook Wild Onions
Very simple. Although different cooks add their own fillip to the process, the recipes are all pretty much the same.
Wild Onions and Eggs
- Pick some wild onions;
- Wash, clean and chop them;
- Put some oil or grease in a skillet, and heat;
- Add wild onions;
- Add a little water, if you're in the mood;
- Cook until they release their fragrance;
- Add a couple of eggs;
- Scramble and cook til done;
- Serve!
Now, purists insist bacon grease is the only acceptable way to cook wild onions. And I agree, it adds a nice touch for a hearty meal.
But if, like me, you're trying to be a bit healthier about your eating, use an oil with little or no flavor. I favor grapeseed oil for these purposes. Whatever you do, don't use olive oil.
I would give more suggestions on what to do with them, but other than cooking them in scrambled eggs or dicing them into a salad, there's not much more to say about them. I've never cooked them in potatoes, so can't really comment on the best way to do that.
Besides, different cooks might add their own little fillip to the process, but the recipes are all pretty much the same --- like this one from Cinda Wind:
"You just cut them, clean them up, and wash them. Just get a skillet - a big skillet - and put some grease in there. Put the onions in there along with a little warm water. Let them go to cooking. Then after a while, when they go to getting done and get tender, you can put a little bit of eggs in there, as many eggs as you like. Then stir it up, and stir it up until it gets done, then it's ready to eat. That's all I know. I like to eat salt meat with mine. Somebody laughed at me, but I said I like salt meat. I don't care." she laughs.
Easy as pie, and just as tasty.
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What The McMansions Fear, We Serve for Dinner
The internets are awash in pleas from beleaguered suburbanites desperate to demolish the wild onion and dandelion which have taken over their lawns.
By contrast, we eat our weeds and even plant them, as in the case of clover. We certainly don't cut them down until other things are blooming because the bees and the butterflies need them this early in the season.
Well, okay, the bees and butterflies don't need the wild onions - but we do.
Besides, how could we kill the henbit which is the first flower we ever remember seeing and that we used to gather for May baskets and bouquets for our mother? Or that clover-like stuff with the yellow flowers which adds the subtlest tanginess to a nice salad? Or those lovely viola like flowers which always appear right about the time the bumblebees and swallowtails first emerge.
And while the McMansionites are obeying the covenants of their housing developments and buying that $5 stalk of arugula and $3.50 head of endive and $4 bag of shallots for that $17 shrimp, we'll be eating salads laced with dandelion and the funny little clover and nasturtiums and a big plate of eggs scrambled with wild onions cooked in bacon grease and maybe, if we're lucky, some crawdads from up on the hill --- all for free and all from our own backyards.
It may be messy, but it sure does taste good.