For those of you who are new to Got a Happy Story, this diary appears every Friday evening anytime between 7 and 9:30 EST. The inaugural diary was posted January 21, 2005 by Carnacki. He and Darrel J. Gahm shared the honors for the past 2 years. They have passed the torch on to the community. This diary began as an antidote to darkness and despair brought on by the knowledge that the country was stuck with the Bush "administration" for another 4 years.
A preview of coming attractions: Next week Eddie C. will be posting the Ice Cream Parlor Edition of Got a Happy Story.
Given the genesis of this community diary, I thought I’d share a family story. My family went to Martha’s Vineyard on vacation every year, back before it was popular. Those 2 weeks were something that each of us looked forward to all year long. At 16, my sister applied for and received a hostessing job at an upscale restaurant. The catch was that they wanted her to start during our Vineyard vacation. She dutifully left the island, went to stay with my maternal grandmother, and started her new job. She was fired on the second day.
My sister was completely embarrassed because this was her first job. She sobbed to my grandmother that she’d given up her vacation for nothing. She had no confidence that anyone else would ever want to hire her. My grandmother said, "In my life I’ve found that in the end, every knock turned out to be a boost." A few days later my sister landed another job in a small family grocery store and she stayed there until she left for college. Her bosses were thrilled with her and so were the customers. They all took such an interest in her and that really helped her with her shyness. She never lacked confidence applying for jobs again. Within the past 6 months she opened her own acupuncture practice. I know that part of her confidence and determination came from the nurturing she received at her second job. That knock, getting fired, really did turn out to be a boost in the end.
I have many examples from my own life on the same theme. I’ll just share one of them. When I applied to graduate school my plan was to either work in an AIDS hospice or an inpatient facility for drug and alcohol treatment. Back then AIDS meant certain death and 30 day treatment programs were the norm. I made it clear to the field placement office that I wanted an internship in one of those areas. Imagine my surprise and dismay when I learned that my first internship was at a sexual abuse program where I would evaluate and treat abused children and sex offenders. At the time, I thought I couldn’t have dreamed up a less appealing placement if I had tried.
Well those kids really won me over. I fell in love with them, their strength and their determination. I watched their functioning improve and felt honored to be a witness to their successes. When I graduated I was thrilled to be offered a position on a sexual abuse team at another agency because it was the work I wanted to do. In another month it will be 17 years since I started graduate school. Sadly, there are plenty of children who experience child abuse and neglect. But AIDS is no longer a death sentence. The AIDS hospice closed 15 years ago. Most of the 30 inpatient treatment facilities for drug and alcohol addiction closed up after insurers became unwilling to subsidize treatment. What I thought was a horrible blow to my dreams 17 years ago turned out to be the best thing professionally. I still remember those children who taught me so much about symptoms, resilience and attachment. They reinforced my grandmother’s words that every knock is a boost.
So please share your happy stories from the week or from your own school of hard knocks.