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We can breathe easy again. Our country has been saved. Our ever vigilant Dept. of Homeland Security has foiled another evil plot to kill US soldiers. Don't you feel safer already?

The Six Stooges Meet the US Government

We can breathe easy again. Our country has been saved. Our ever vigilant Dept. of Homeland Security has foiled another evil plot to kill US soldiers. Don't you feel safer already?

According to the government, a cab-driver and three roofers and two store clerks were going to wage jihad against the entire United States of America by invading Fort Dix in New Jersey which is base to 90,000 trained soldiers. It's not a high school. What's wrong with this picture? Does the term Three Stooges come to mind?

In a show of strength, authorities this week arrested Mohamad Ibrahim Shnewer, Dritan Duka, Shain Duka, Eljvir Duka, Serdar Tatar, and Agron Abdullahu, all Muslims in their twenties. These terrorist masterminds were so brilliant and organized and well financed that they made a tape of themselves shooting guns on a gun-range and dancing the jihad dance. Then they took the tape to their local video store to have it digitalized so they could share it with their friends and family on the internet. But we can be assured that our tax dollars are at work and we have been saved from this evil plot to destroy our way of life. They were planning to attack Fort Dix, after all. But after spending months and many of your dollars to infiltrate this den of sinister plotters, the government has saved us again from Muslim cab-drivers and roofers and store clerks.

The "unsung hero" of the case, according to FBI agent J.P. Weis was the clerk in the video store who was making the digital copy of the tape and became alarmed at the terrorist pantomime. This harkens me back to the numerous cases in the last century where some clerk at a photo processing shop sees family photos of kids naked in a bathtub and calls Child Protective Services and the FBI and somebody gets arrested for child porn.

But it's good to know that we have highly paid people looking out for our security and safety. According to authorities one of the plotters was also a dangerous expert in pizza delivery and had gathered valuable intelligence about the geography of Fort Dix because he had cased the joint while making deliveries to the base from his dad's pizzaria. These are the types of agents that we really need to be aware of. How much does your pizza delivery boy know about what goes on inside your house? Don't even think about ordering Chinese food. They have spies everywhere.

"Fort Dix! Slowly I turned ... step by step ... inch by
inch ..."
Joey Faye, as done by The Three Stooges, adapted by Lrod

_______________
"you always never know whether I'm trying to be serious or not"
visit Lightning Rod World Headquarters at:
http://www.studioeight.tv/...

Originally posted to Lightning Rod on Wed May 09, 2007 at 08:09 AM PDT.

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Comment Preferences

  •  This is why I'm not afraid of terrorists. (4+ / 0-)

    Wile E. Coyote had better-executed plans.

    "I apologize for nothing!" ---Hedonismbot

    by droogie6655321 on Wed May 09, 2007 at 08:02:58 AM PDT

  •  Yeah, 90,000 vs 6 (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Sargent Pepper, JFinNe, manwithnoname

    oh and that's 90,000 armed soldiers.  I doubt the stooges would've taken more than 2 steps with the rocket launchers before they were launched into oblivion

    Too early for me to decide on an 08 candidate...

    by worried dem on Wed May 09, 2007 at 08:05:38 AM PDT

  •  I guess these guys were better prepared... (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Sargent Pepper

    than the last bunch.
    These guys probably were able to buy their own boots.

  •  The Department of Homeland Security (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Sargent Pepper, JFinNe

    saved by a video clerk.

    If you think you're too small to be effective, you've never been in the dark with a mosquito.

    by marykk on Wed May 09, 2007 at 08:11:11 AM PDT

  •  Too ludicrous for words (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Sargent Pepper

    If I understand correctly, these six guys made the video a couple of years ago, and took it to clerk in the video store about the same time.  So, Homeland Security agents have been watching and recording them for over two years?

    "Man's life's a vapor Full of woe. He cuts a caper, Down he goes. Down de down de down he goes.

    by JFinNe on Wed May 09, 2007 at 08:11:33 AM PDT

  •  Roofers? (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Sargent Pepper

    Can nail-guns be classified as an automatic weapon?

    •  in lethal weapon, i think that's the movie (0+ / 0-)

      a nail gun was quite effective.

      I used to work in a door factory and we used to shoot each other with the air hammers.  lots of fun.

      The president of the United States actually has to be able to walk and chew gum at the same time. John Edwards

      by Sargent Pepper on Wed May 09, 2007 at 08:26:52 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  I've made this point elsewhere: (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Olds88

    Six well-armed, coordinated and motivated people could do a lot of damage at a military base like Ft. Dix.  Aside from the base guards (not heavily armed) soldiers don't run around with arms, and a lot of the people are civilian employees or family members.  Large parts of a base resemble a college campus.  

    I suspect they have drills for such events, but RPGs or automatic weapons bust up a lot in a very short time.  

    "One way or another, this darkness got to give"

    by wozzle on Wed May 09, 2007 at 08:25:45 AM PDT

    •  wouldn't the guards at the gate (0+ / 0-)

      slow them down a little?  I can't imagine that they could just drive up and start killing people. but i don't really know.

      The president of the United States actually has to be able to walk and chew gum at the same time. John Edwards

      by Sargent Pepper on Wed May 09, 2007 at 08:28:15 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Shootings Yes (0+ / 0-)

      and maybe a vest bomb or two. And that would be catastrophic on a personal basis.

      Until vest nukes are in common useage though I don't think this is a threat to the United States as a nation.

      We are called to speak for the weak, for the voiceless, for victims of our nation and for those it calls enemy.... --ML King "Beyond Vietnam"

      by Gooserock on Wed May 09, 2007 at 08:33:28 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Not to the US (0+ / 0-)

        as a nation?  It would serve to enhance our already exaggerated sense of fear.  Patriot Act on steroids, and more attacks on people with brown skin and different clothes.

        "One way or another, this darkness got to give"

        by wozzle on Wed May 09, 2007 at 08:36:01 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  •  My Theory: "Homeland Security" holds onto (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    wozzle, slowheels

    these little "terror plots" and releases them as needed, to divert attention from whatever Bush is fucking up at that particular moment.

    Here we have "wolfie" and "gonzo/fredo" (can we make this shit up?) in doodoo, so,

    VIOLA!  A terror plot to attack Fort Dix!!  Now there is one we should all tremble about.

    I'd love to interview the soldiers at Fort Dix to see if they are concerned about the roofers, pizza guy and 7-11 clerk.

    Shit, with real gun laws, they wouldn't have even been able to get the weapons.  Gun Control: REAL homeland security.

    The president of the United States actually has to be able to walk and chew gum at the same time. John Edwards

    by Sargent Pepper on Wed May 09, 2007 at 08:25:58 AM PDT

  •  Only Question: Stupidity Alone, or (0+ / 0-)

    stupidity plus entrapment? Reports say they've been monitored for over a year as I recall.

    We are called to speak for the weak, for the voiceless, for victims of our nation and for those it calls enemy.... --ML King "Beyond Vietnam"

    by Gooserock on Wed May 09, 2007 at 08:31:47 AM PDT

    •  Talked about this on NPR yesterday; (0+ / 0-)

      entrapment defense won't work as long as the agent is not seen as a leader of the group and does not bring more than a modicum of capability to the group (ie "Hey, guys, I can get us an Abrams tank!").  

      IIRC the Lackawanna group was penetrated by the FBI and successfully prosecuted despite an entrapment defense.

      "One way or another, this darkness got to give"

      by wozzle on Wed May 09, 2007 at 08:46:39 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  I wouldn't be so dismissive (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    wozzle

    Most of the soldiers on the base wouldn't be armed. Would base security be able to deal with six guys? Sure. But the attackers might kill a lot of troops in the meantime.

    You can be crazy and incompetent and still kill a lot of people.

  •  BREAKING NEWS........ (0+ / 0-)

    NOT, for this having been touted last night as a big deal and great work, not a sign of it on CNN, MSNBC, or Comcast "news" sites. Looks like another foiled plot not so sinister.

  •  Down with the HERO (0+ / 0-)

    On head line news this moring ,the FBI had been watching the terrorist for a long time fort Dix was never in danger.  Can't hardly wait new swtory tomorow on the big SIX.

    Hitler himself, in Mein Kampf, laid down his rules for dictatorship. He stated the "principle of the whopping lie" and of the gullibility of the masses. If you are going to tell a lie, he said, and nobody doubts that he intended to, don’t tell a little one, because it will be recognized as a lie. Tell the biggest and most unlikely lie you can think of, keep on telling it, and the people will think it must be the truth and believe it. "The greater the lie, the more effective it is as a weapon," said the master of the alleged "master race."]

    My VOTE will go for the first person to prommise to try Bush and co. for crimes against america and humanity

    by roxnev on Wed May 09, 2007 at 09:06:12 AM PDT

  •  Ft Dix (0+ / 0-)

    I did think that Fort Dix was the wrong place for ten men to attack.

    We've got lots of federal buildings in Chicago where ten armed people could cause a lot of trouble. I'm sure that there are even more in New York.

    Fort Dix sounds like suicide. I don't know what percenage of teh soldiers there have immediate access to their weapons, but it must be a lot more than ten.

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