Zounds! Only three weeks until YKos II, and I'm excited. Last year was an incredible experience...dare I say life-changing? Dare i say country-changing?
Well, yes, I do dare say it. Or at least it offered a glimmer of hope. The organizing we did last year I believe truly did much towards winning back control of Congress, and although we may bemoan the fact that things haven't changed fast enough or far enough, imagine how much worse things could be with the Repubs still with a total stranglehold on power.
As for me, I've become more involved politically in this past year than ever before, and much of that is due to the tools and the energy garnered in Las Vegas last year. And yet, I also feel some personal disappointment: I also have not changed far enough or fast enough.
I approach our meeting in Chicago with both the high expectations of an even more inspiring and empowering experience, and the fear of being disappointed this time. I hope you'll indulge me, and also share your own thoughts below the fold...
For way too many years, I'm ashamed to admit, the gap between my desire to be politically active and the reality of my activism was huge. Too much of my life has been spent sitting on my butt bitching about things and doing nothing about them, chortling to myself in agreement with liberal writers in magazines or online but not joining the discussion myself.
The one thing I've managed to do is travel a lot, to many developing world countries, for extended periods of time. I've even gotten involved in the politics of those places at times, marching with the Madres de Plaza de Mayo in Argentina, meeting Evo Morales at a three day convention of coca grower unions in Bolivia, having furtive conversations with dissidents in Lhasa, Tibet.
After every trip, I came back inspired and ready to get involved with politics back home, but the feeling always dissipated quickly, and before long I was back in my old habits, once again mired in some drudge job, saving up and longing for the next trip. I came to see the travel was to a certain extent an illusion: it was easier to get involved when you knew it was for the short term, and when it was in a new culture in which you would not have time to get confused by the myriad political details and complex reality of the people who actually lived there.
Not that I felt it was all useless: I met some amazing people, did some amazing things, did some useful work at times, and developed a strong sense of being a global citizen...but I was never able to transfer that energy of getting briefly and superficially involved in foreign politics to living a life of disciplined and whole-hearted activism here at home.
Last year, those few days at YearlyKos gave me a greater and more lasting push than had anything in my life before it. It is amazing to me to admit that,and I suspect many who were there feel the same way. But still, I have not yet come nearly far enough.
I first came to DailyKos back in 2004, in the buildup to the elections of that year. I did sign up, but mostly lurked. I read posts almost every day, and from my daily reading I was oh-so-sure that Kerry was going to win. Well, we all know how that turned out: somehow my sitting at the computer agreeing with the fabulous things I was reading failed to put Kerry over the top.
After that brutal disappointment, I drifted away from DailyKos for a time, but as the war, the country and the world grew worse and worse, I found myself drawn back by the end of 2005, craving both the news and analysis I could find here, as well as seeking to reignite some glimmer of political hope.
I still only just read and did not participate, the quintessential lurker, appreciating the community here but really making no effort to become a part of it myself...and yet when the first YearlyKos was announced, I immediately knew I had to go. I knew that it had the potential to trigger things in me that had been dormant for far too long.
Well, in the past year, I have become somewhat less of a lurker here on DailyKos, though I am still very much a minor presence with my 22 diaries and very sporadic commenting. I did for the first time get involved in a political campaign last fall, and for the first time I contributed money to races around the country. I've become more involved in the politics of my community as well, largely around development and zoning issues so far, but it's a start. In a way, my involvement in these issues happened almost accidentally...and yet when the issues arose, I was equipped to take action in ways I had not been before, due in part to the tools and the inspiration from YearyKos last year. When the time came to speak out at City Council sessions and community meetings, or to give interviews to the media...I was ready. It was like the seeds I'd held dormant withing me had been fertilized at YKos and burst forth with life when the time came.
Still, I have not come far enough. I'm not doing enough writing. I haven't fully latched onto an issue or organization to devote myself to. Hell, I've only managed to get to two Drinking Liberally meetings in all this time!
And so I approach YearlyKos II in Chicago hoping to seal the deal, to break out of my inertia and fears for good. I know that I can get no more than motivation, connections and activist tools there, and that I still have to create in myself the will to use them, but oh, I can't imagine a more rich environment.
Looking forward to it, and to meeting many of you again. And hey, don't forget, you only have until Saturday to sign up!