Louisiana "family values" congressman David Vetter admits hooker ties with DC madam. Hard to believe, isn't it? A Republican getting laid---- by an adult heterosexual, I mean.
Homeland Security honcho Michael Chertoff professed to have a "gut feeling" a terrorist attack is imminent. And, as one would expect from such an unqualified nitwit, raised the threat level from "Tagamet" to "Maalox."
Iraqi government "report card" shows that only eight of 18 "benchmarks" have been met. These, of course, are war benchmarks----not those left by the fat asses of Halliburton execs.
Hey, the plot thickens below the fold... Don't stray!
Civilian contractors now outnumber US troops in Iraq. Kind of gives a whole new meaning to the term "can't buy a victory" doesn't it? If you can't support our troops, will you at least support our contractors?
The Army, struggling to meet its June recruitment goal, lowered the bar yet again and accepted convicted felons. May not mean much to you, but Scooter Libby is ecstatic.
Manuel Noriega is scheduled to be released from prison in September. What more could the Army ask for? He'll even provide his own uniform.
Meanwhile Army National Guard recruitment is up, due, says a Guard spokesman, "to more visits to high schools, NASCAR races and shopping malls." Not to mention trailer parks, tattoo parlors, pool halls, bowling alleys, truck pulls, demolition derbies, wrestling matches and lines waiting to get into "The Jerry Springer Show."
Osama bin Laden's son, Omar, got married last week. But hold the gifts. Bush's intel braintrust can't find him, either.
All but broke, McCain canned between 50 and 100 staffers. Rumors persist that he's privately asked Bush to cummute his campaign.
Those terrorist plots in London and Glasgow involved doctors and medical students. Authorities now believe they may have been in training for future employment with HMO's.
June auto sales for General Motors fell 21.7% while Nissan's were up 22%. The USS Missouri is being taken out of mothballs for the formal surrender ceremony.
A Navy commander at Annapolis is charged with taping a porn video using cadets and their girlfriends. The video was to be called "Debbie Does the USS Dallas."
Al Gore's son, Al III, was arrested in Anaheim, CA and charged with speeding after being clocked driving 37 mph over the speed limit. But after a radar gun recount, police awarded the arrest to Jenna Bush.
Six members of Chile's Olympic soccer team are charged with trashing their Puerto Ordaz, Venuzuela hotel room. On a positive training note however, they dropped kicked their plasma TV through the 25th story window without hitting the sill.
Rejecting settlement offers of close to $1 billion, plaintiff's in LA's pedophile priest cases have opted to proceed to trial. The noose slowly tightening around his neck, Cardinal "Stonewall" Mahoney is rumored to be seeking legal advice from Phil Spector.
Excerpted from www.bereftontheleft.blogspot.com
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