If you're a progressive Democrat who favors the right for all citizens to keep and bear arms, the National Rifle Association is an organization that probably leaves you a little conflicted. On the one hand, they support a constitutional right that many feel is the Founders' idea of a last line of defense against tyranny and despotism in our country. On the other hand, you must be aware that, as a progressive Democrat, the NRA hates you, and also they are heavily armed.
One of the few things that the NRA has hated more than progressive Democrats is the McCain-Feingold (Bipartisan Campaign Reform) Act. This law was intended to, among other things, restrict the amount of influence held by corporations or "issue organizations" by restricting the use of "issue ads" prior to elections.
Cross-posted at the wildly popular Karateexplosions Fortress of Awesomeness at www.karateexplosions.com.
The NRA is one of those "issue organizations". The Campaign Reform Act effectively meant that if the NRA wanted to air advertisements informing the electorate that liberal Democrats eat baby flesh and kick newborn puppies, they could not do so within the 60 days prior to a general election or 30 days prior to a primary. In a recent Supreme Court case, the NRA joined with Wisconsin Right to Life, Inc. to argue that this portion of the McCain-Feingold Act was unconstitutional. About a month ago, in a 5-4 decision, the court agreed with them and declared that they had a First Amendment right to air issue ads right up to election day.
So what kind of issue ads should we expect? Well, the NRA has been kind enough to lay out a little of their game plan through a detailed, illustrated fund raising pamphlet that was leaked to the Internet just a little after Christmas last year.
All NRA literature can be summed up as follows: They. Are. Coming. For. Your. Guns.
In this case, the warning is aimed directly at the NRA's core membership: Pistol-packing gray-haired grannies. A very perceptive observer may notice that while the NRA's message might be aimed at granny, the evil jack-booted stormtroopers' guns are not. The dude in the upper left has a flashlight equipped on his gun and as a result you can see where he's aiming... at the gun on the floor. And that's the basis of the problem here. If granny could get the one dude's shin off her neck, she could maybe defend herself. But the tiny little gun, all alone in the spotlight, is completely defenseless. Who will defend the poor, lonely handgun? The NRA, that's who!
One way the NRA attempted to protect tiny little defenseless handguns was to make them 20 feet tall and place them in American cities. "Let's see those gun control activists stop us NOW!" cackled the NRA.
Turns out, though, that Superman is a big-time gun control activist. And he's kind of a jerk.
Guns are useful for a lot of things. Hunting, law enforcement, personal security, target practice. Also, they are good at keeping enormous tidal waves from completely obliterating your home.
In this illustration, we see the same family from the previous illustration, and the father is saying, "Sure would be nice if we had a twenty-foot tall revolver right about now. But liberals like Michael Moore, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, John Kerry and Superman took away our guns. So now we have no choice but to stand here on our second-floor wraparound deck and await our impending doom."
There are a lot of scary things out there, and the NRA wants to make sure you are armed so you can deal with them effectively. One of the scariest things out there is a girl who doesn't shave her legs, particularly if she also wears sandals. Here, we see the paragon of evil holding a gasoline can in one hand and a burning torch in the other. One would think that she would wait to light the fire until after she reached her destination and was no longer carrying a large container of extremely flammable liquid, but just because she is evil doesn't make her smart.
What she lacks in brainpower she makes up for tenfold with her evil army of demonic animal minions. Wolves, oxen, pigs... even an Evil Dynamite-Wielding Owl of Doom (EDWOD) and a crustacean who has had Just. About. Enough. of the sitting in the aquarium with rubber bands around his hands. All of the animals are ready to exact their revenge on humanity for the cutting down of their woodland habitats and also for the slowly boiling them in pots of water.
Only one thing stands in their way: Guns. And also the evil Democrats. Who. Are. Coming. For. Them.
If you missed this when it was first loaded into a big truck on the series of tubes right after Christmas last year, the pictures above are probably some of the tamest illustrations in the pamphlet. Browsing through the PDF file (click here to download), the racial and xenophobic undertones are quite apparent, and there is no doubt about where they want your votes cast.
George Soros gets three pages of the 16-page document devoted to revealing that he thinks that he's God, which brings me to KE Law of Politics #176:
Mentioning George Soros in a political argument is the equivalent of saying "I am a batshit-crazy right-wing loon!" It is basically the batshit-crazy right-wing loon shibboleth.
Remember that the next time you witness a political argument. It's a law that's never broken.
It's easy to make fun of nutjob fear-mongering crap like this, but this sort of stuff is dangerous, too, and has to be countered. In 2000, I desperately tried to convince my dad to vote for Al Gore, or at the very least, not to vote for George W. Bush. He's an avid hunter, though, and the NRA had him completely and irrevocably convinced that Al Gore's first presidential act after giving his inauguration speech would be to personally knock on every door in American and pry away everybody's guns -- from their cold, dead hands or otherwise. No amount of common sense, logic, reason, or impassioned pleading could convince him otherwise. He voted against his economic and ideological interests on the issue of guns alone, and the NRA was a MAJOR reason why. If we're not prepared to counteract the propaganda, then Dynamite-Wielding Owls of Doom will be the least of our worries.
P.S. Here is a picture of a cat with a gun.
UPDATE: Moody Loner helps you vote in the poll question with this handy voter's guide.