Conventional wisdom sez history doesn't repeat itself but this looks like deja vu all over again.
Here's the commander of US forces - oh, excuse me coalition forces - addressing members of congress as if they were mushrooms in need of a good dose of horseshit and a cool dark place to relax. Everything is just going swimmingly in Hue - I mean Anbar - where we - I mean coalition forces - are just kicking butt and taking names. As Vice President Agnew - I mean Cheney - put it so eloquently the enemy is in the last throes and victory is that bright light at the end of the tunnel. Or is that a freight train? Nevermind. If it wasn't for all those protesters and democrats this thing would have been over a long time ago.
Gen. Abrams - sorry, Gen. Petraeus - sez we just need a few thousand more troops for a few more months and the VC and all those gooks - I mean al Quaeda and all those hadjjis - will be saluting and whistling I am a Yankee Doodle Dandy or they'll be dead. Then we can get on with the business of nation building. You know making sure that SE Asia - sorry again, it's late - the Middle East has all the democracy it can stand and we get all the oil they have in return for showing them the one true religion which is so much better than their false religion. We'll bring these diverse warring factions together at the point of a gun and make them see just how truely wonderful the future can be with a continuous American - ah, coalition - army of occupation keeping the peace in Iraq. Sort of like we did so successfully in Viet Nam so many years ago.
Why Ambassador Ellsworth Bunker - I mean Crocker, of course - has assured us that we are winning this war and victory is at hand and President Nguyen Van Thieu - I mean al Maliki - is doing everything in his power to hasten the time when, as President Johnson - er, Bu**sh** - has said, Iraqi boys will soon be dying in place of American - sorry, coalition - boys. (Why do I keep forgetting?)
And Saigon - er, I mean Baghdad - was just abuzz the other day when President Nixon - sorry, Bu**sh**, actually came over to support the troops for a couple of hours. That showed real courage landing in the middle of a war zone like that. Walking the streets alone with no guards, talking to average Iraqis to find out their true feelings about having all those American - er, coalition - grunts armed to the teeth breaking down their doors at all hours of the day and night and hauling off their husbands, fathers, sons to god knows where. No, actually I remember now. He flew into some Air Force base and talked to a few coalition forces about something and then left before the air conditioning was shut off. Sorry, he's done so many heroic things in the last few years that they sometimes run together.
You know this whole bringing democracy to the unbelievers would be a lot easier if it wasn't for all the aid and comfort and supplies that Cambodia - sorry, I really should go to bed - Iran is funneling into Nam - I mean Iraq. They may just need to be taught a lesson and maybe bombed back into the stone age. Just ask Herr Kissenger. He and Gen. Petraeus will explain it all to you. So, thank you again Gen. Petraeus for showing the entire country that, yes indeed, history certainly can repeat itself.