http://news.yahoo.com/...
Clinton Healthcare plan revealed! Insurance companies and IRS to merge.
In a stunning move today Hillary Clinton has revealed a plan that would ensure the profitability of all American insurance companies by mandating that every American give thousands of dollars a year in direct taxation to said insurance companies. In return Americans would receive a vague indication that, should they ever become ill or injured, the insurance company might do something or other...or not. It kind of depends.
"This is a major policy shift," says one Clinton advisor. "No longer will the American insurance industry have to go begging to the high-powered consumer for profits. Now the money will flow directly from the consumer to the beleaguered companies without any nasty middlemen like doctors getting in the way. It's a new day for American for-profit healthcare!"
"We're installing new computers in the IRS offices," revealed an industry exec. "It's like an ATM machine and it's built by Diebold via a no-bid military contract. The auditor just runs the individual tax return through our machine and our money is deducted from the consumer's bank account. More or less. Most often more...if ya know what I mean," he joked, winking broadly. "If the consumer doesn't have enough money, we can automatically file chapter 11 papers, seize his property and send him and his family to one of our new rehabilitation farms to work off his debt to us. With interest! Thank God for the bankruptcy bill!"
Clinton was unavailable for comment. Two bystanders named Harry and Louise suggested they could get a note to her. "The last time we sent her a message, she got it," they hissed, smiling evilly. "Oh yes, she totally got it."
Insurance industry stocks rose sharply on the news as did, oddly enough, mortuary stocks.