It's not that it came as a surprise. I'd even called the vet a week or so ago to talk to her about putting my lovely girl to sleep. After all, she was ancient. But the vet talked me out of it, and I relented, even though I was pretty skeptical that she could last much longer.
So, following the vet's advice, I pumped her full of aspirin, and she had a great week or two. Then, I woke up about an hour ago, and she died a few minutes later in my living room.
I rescued her in 2002 from a neighbor of my sister's who'd left her stuck in the backyard, tossing out a loaf of bread here and there, and maybe a bit of meat now and again. I used to sneak up to the fence and give her baked potatoes, carrots, dog food, whatever I had on hand.
We never did figure out how old she was, but we did know she had very bad dysplasia and what certainly appeared to be the onset of degenerative myelopathy, a relatively common (and devastating) disorder for German Shepherds.
I'm pretty sure her kidneys weren't the best, either, and hadn't been for years. And, over the past year alone, she'd been through Old Dog Vestibular Disease (which laid her flat for a month), ehrlichiosis and another disease that escapes me at the moment.
Here she is with her best friend, the rogue labrador.
Earlier this evening, I noticed something was wrong, but I thought she'd just pinched a nerve or was displaying clear evidence that she had degenerative myelopathy, something several vets told me she didn't have - even though she had the symptoms of it (knuckled under back feet that she would try to walk on, increasing muscle weakness in her hind end, etc.).
But I thought I'd brought her out of it and was certain she had once again triumphed against the odds.
I was wrong.
So goodbye, my beautiful girl. You were such a sweet and loving girl. I especially enjoyed you helping me with the weeding, sitting like you would at my side and looking so regal. And I'm grateful I was able to make your last years at least a little fun.
Be kind to your critters, dKossians. They're with us much too short a time.
UPDATE: First of all, I can't believe this made the rec list. But it's such an appropriate honor for such a beautiful girl.
Next, I just returned from the vet's and, if all goes well, a lovely red bone girl will be joining the family this weekend. My lab is desolate - he's never been without a doggie best friend before, and this girl not only needs a home, but seems so far to have exactly the right temperament for my wild and crazy boy.
And finally, when diaries get past a certain size, I can't rec comments or respond. But I'm reading every one of them. Even though they're making me cry like a baby, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you all for this. This is progressivism at its best!
Now me and my desolate boy are going to the woods for a walk.