Good ol' Frank Rich gives us a glimpse into what might be one of the more compelling and history shaping presidential match-ups for the general election: "The Audacity of Hope" versus the new man from Hope, Arkansas. It could well be the kind of election that achieves a lasting alignment, especially if the Republican party is pared down to its evangelical core and the Democratic Party, at last, becomes the true Rainbow Coalition.
I've got my own take on some other general election match-ups for '08. And, there's a poll waiting for you at the end. But, first, you'll have to put up with a diversionary tale of my search for hearty sustenance on the day before this last Thanksgiving with the vegan relatives. That's where the idea for this diary began. Don't worry. It will make sense. I think.
The day before Thanksgiving last, the family and I packed into a rental car for a drive up to commune with the vegan relatives in Burlington, Vt. (I have nothing against vegans, per se. After all, some of my favorite bloggers and candidates are vegans.) Half-starved and halfway there, we knew our best and last chance for some real grub, as opposed ot the tofu turkey loaf awaiting us for the next day’s holiday meal, was to stop in for some cornbread and whatnot at the Tooky Diner just off I-91 in Contoocook, NH.
Unfortunately, the Tooky was closed. What to do? Well, there are several diners in the vicinity of White River Junction. But, when visiting the vegan relatives in Burlington, my wife and I have a tacit agreement to never cross the Connecticut River on an empty stomach. Sometimes you find your salvation if you just stand up your own hind legs and take a look around you. And there, my friends, situated prettily right there on the banks of the Contoocook River, was salvation: the Covered Bridge Restaurant. True, they don’t serve cornbread, but the grilled sandwiches are hearty, the French fries sublime, and the peanut butter cup pie is to die for. And you get a great view of the historic covered bridge.
Now, on the road from I-91 into Contoocook there are precisely two, count ‘em two, lawn signs for President: one for Hillary and one for Huckabee. Now, it could be that the little town of Contoocook is the bellwether for the whole of this postage stamp-sized state that has way too much of sway in determining the candidates. But, keeping it real here, that’s about as likely as the accuracy of a Zogby internet poll. So what does it mean?
Astute blog readers will immediately recognize that the true meaning of my search for cornbread and concurrent, superficial stumble through the tiny political landscape of Contoocook, was simply to create a pretext for this diary, which will, in all likelihood slide down the “Recent Diaries” column into oblivion. But, before that happens my friends, I ask that you consider with me the thematic implications of various matchups between the Rethugs and Dem candidates.
What I want to know is, which matchups is likely to be a defining choice in the American story. Which pairing would rival ’32 in representing a sea change in American politics, and why? Obviously, with the Supreme Court is at stake, a Rethug win would be a disaster, but what else would these pairings mean?
I care not about who you support, personally. I care not about speculations about who is most electable or who would beat whom. I care not that the mainstream media’s clamors for a Hillary/Giuliani World Wrestling Association sanctioned cage match. Which matchup holds the potential to be a true turning point in American history?
Here’s what I think:
Hillary v. Huckabee: Hmm. Two Arkansans, sort of. Huckabee is the true compassionate conservative in this race, with a tax and spend record that many Democrats might respect. He’s even compassionate to convicted rapists, for heaven’s sake. Hillary could run to the right on fiscal and law enforcement issues and to the left on the social ones. A Hillary win, means the triumph of the third way. And at last, little boys all over America could look to her Presidency and think: I, too, can become President, and then help get my wife elected.” President Huckabee? With a man who will act as preacher-in-chief, we’ll have lobbyists lining up on K-street to pile dough on the presidential collection plate.
Obama v. Romney: Here’s a race that’s bound to piss off the true haters in American society. If you despise minorities and Mormons, you likely sit this one out and retreat to the backwoods to polish your gun collection. Romney will do his best to out-hate the haters on immigration. A true empy suit, Romney’s utter lack of conviction on anything, would ensure that his presidency, like Dumbya’s, would largely be remembered for its fuck-ups. President Obama? Rhetorically and practically, he is soothing and smooth, as he juikes right and then moves left. I tend to believe those who think that his bio will go a long way in reshaping the way the world sees us, and the way we view ourselves. His would be the Fusion Presidency.
Edwards v. Giuliani: Every time I think of a Giuliani candidacy, I can’t help but think of that old Pace Picante sauce commercial: “This sauce is made in New York.” “New York?!!” Does Giulani stand for anything but Giuliani? Talk about your Kerik-ter issue. A Giuliani States of America would represent the triumph of Thuglicanism. Now, President Edwards. Say it again. President Edwards. It doesn’t sound bad at all, provided the spine transplant sticks. Rudy runs right. Edwards runs left. This one’s possibly a close election. Rudy the prosecutor stinks up the discourse with outright lies and unabashed self-aggrandizement. Edwards the lawyer for the people, is the would-be knight in shining armor. Edwards aspires for a restoration of the Great Society. But, when it comes to the practicalities of governing, will “great” be the enemy of the pretty good?
Kucinich v. McCain: Vegan versus Vet. Peace-nik versus Warrior. Tofu turkey notwithstanding, a President Kucinich leads to a communitarian America, I’m guessing, that will never come to pass. President McCain ushers in the sudden popularity of the military parade. Katie Couric coos over the ICBMs and Bradley fighting vehicles mixed in with the marching bands and hot-air balloons featured in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. A totally jacked America prepares readies to fight, not the last war, but the war before that.
If you disagree with me or Frank, you've got some 'splaining to to do.