*because he is culturally blind to it.
I must admit I’m biased, but I like being in the Army. I’m a third generation Army Brat, my daughter is well on her way to being the fourth. The Army is a different culture than the rest of America. If you have ever wondered why Soldiers don’t refuse in mass to go over, its because of the culture.
Honestly, most of those who have refused that I have read of are people with less than six years of service. The culture of the Army, in this war and in peace, has a strong effect on the thinking of those in it. Just as some cultures see nothing wrong with a man beating his wife for some minor infraction, our culture would react with horror. We don’t think twice about a woman running in a sports bra, it’s our culture.
If you leave aside the whole Iraq War, the military is a good choice for some people. Lets face it, how many jobs are out there that give 100% health care with no co-pay to you and your family, pay for college, give training, provide cloths, food, housing, and let you start drawing a pension the day you retire after only 20 years of work when you only have a High School diploma?
Now we know Recruiters lie. Even the ones who don’t, still lie. They lie by not telling you things, they lie by picking their words very carefully. Much like a politician. I’m not going to talk about the out right lies like "you won’t get sent to war" or "you can quit at any time" kind of illegal statements unprofessional Recruiters may make. I’m going to talk about the things the Recruiter won’t tell you because they don’t even know about it because of the culture they live in.
First: You will be under the direction of 22 year old’s with less than one year of experience for most of your career.
That does not sound so bad when your 18, but when your 35 and have 17 years of military experience and a 22 year old "kid" one month out of OBC (Officer Basic Course) shows up and says Frog, you have to jump. See most of your time in the military will be spent under the command of a Platoon leader. A Second Lieutenant, someone who just got done with four years of college, got commissioned, attended a basic training program, and now is in charge of you and the rest of the Platoon. He will be the one to lead you into battle.
Think about this in the area you work now. Say you get a job at 18 and your department supervisor is a 22 y/o college grad. No problem. You work in the department for 17 years. You become one of the top people in the department. For the last 17 years, every 12 to 24 months a new 22 year old shows up as the boss, and he is telling you what to do. And your expected to train them how to be leaders. You will never be in charge officially.
Second: Your family life is going to be very difficult. You won’t spend much time with your family.
I’m not talking Deployments to Iraq or such. I’m talking Peace time training. It’s not uncommon to go out in the field for 30 to 60 days. Oh sure your just at TA 234 which is just two miles over the hill from your house, but your not going to see home for at least 25 days. Or you have to go to the National Training Center (NTC) for a 90 day training mission. You will do this two to three times a year. You also will get assignments that are "unaccompanied" missions, like Korea, 18 months with out your family being allowed to come.
Your going to be put on duties that happen on the weekends. You will be expected to be at the training site at 0445 in the morning and won’t be released till 1730 (5:30) on light work days. Think this won’t cause a strain on your marriage?
Your family is important, but the Army will see it as secondary to the Army’s missions. Please don’t take this as the Army does not care, every leader I’ve ever had has bent over backwards to make sure we got time with our families. But no where near as much as you would in the civilian world.
Third: Your spouse will find it very hard to find a job. This is especially true if they have an education and want to work in that field.
See your going to be moved a lot. You will spend about three years in one assignment. Sometimes longer, some times shorter. The Army is trying to change this, but the nature of the job is going to resist this. Your going to move. Your family is going to have to come with you or stay some place your not. How many jobs are going to be willing to hire someone who is going to be gone in two and half years? How likely is your spouse going to be able to have a career advancement that takes ten to fifteen years if your moving every three? Think this won’t cause a strain on the marriage?
Fourth: your kids will have a hard time in school.
Much of learning is biased off what you learned before. Your kids will not have the benefit of going through a learning program from K to 12. They won’t have friends from third grade till college. Remember, they are moving every two to three years. If your lucky it will be during the summer break so they won’t show up in the middle of a school year. You might be able to balance some of this by getting your kids in schools that have high numbers of military kids in them. They are familiar with the situation and have adjusted the education process some to accomidate that.
When I first ended up in a civilian school, on the first day of English I had my teacher say the following: "Who here had Ms. Blackston last year? Ok, remember the mouse? [he circled a word on the board] this is her mouse. How about those who had Mr. Romen? Remember the Action Words? [pointing to the word circled on the board]. Now, enough review, lets move on to..." I had no clue what was going on, was new and afraid to ask because everyone else was nodding yes or had that "oh yeah, I remember now" look. [to be honest I still don’t know what Ms. Blackston’s mouse is.]It took years after High School to recover from that. (and spell check on the computer.)
These are some of the many things that you won’t be told about when you enlist. I am sure there are other things. I’m just not aware of them. I know there are different ways military people act, standing up in the theater when the national anthem is played, not holding stuff in your right hand so you can salute those 22 year old kids, checking passing cars for red licenses plates, always having a pen and a lighter, knowing that every mistake you make will be joked about by your peers for the rest of your career, etc.
I won’t say don’t join the military. I actually think it’s a good choice for some. Not everyone. I would never want to see a draft. I do want people to know what serving means to them and their families. It’s not easy. I think it’s harder for the family at times.