Those of you who have had a short first love and then started another courtship will know the odd feeling of falling in love a second time. There's something...missing. It's not the passion, or the joy, or the commitment, or anything easy to put your finger upon, but something just feels different.
And, of course, something is: you. You've been through it before. You may be scarred by the breakup, or simply aware that some good things end. You may be afraid of feeling as lost again. You may not. No matter the intervening history, you are not the same person who fell the first time, because that person doesn't exist any more.
That's something which we who have been through many election cycles know, too. For those of you for whom this is a second electoral romance, let us, older, wiser -- and scarred -- teach you, beyond the flip.
First, though, let me tell you something about the first timers. There's only one first time when you really, deeply, earnestly, and touchingly care about the outcome of the race for the first time. Don't worry, they'll care every bit as much later on, but the first time through craziness is special. Let them enjoy it; it's a roller coaster ride they'll never forget, whether their candidate wins or loses. Don't be an old fart and take away from the pure fun of a first time through; you and I can't ever be there again, and have no right to demand that others lose out. Let them have fun, and, instead of being upset by it, remember, with a vaguely wistful smile on your face, what your time was like.
Remember, yourself, that each of us did have such a time, and it is often far in the past. Each of us who has cared many times cared a lot for the first time, once. Often, we have great stories about that time, whether it was JFK in 60, or RFK, tragically, in 68, or Carter, or Dukakis, or Reagan, or...whoever. We remember that time, and the innocence we brought in with us, and wish, distantly, that we could do that part again. That's OK -- but don't take the first timers' fun away.
Win or lose, they will have another circus. They happen every four years in our governmental system, and they're always exciting and draining. They will have another chance to make a difference, and (here's a dirty little secret) even if their candidate grasps the brass ring and wins it all, in four or eight years, they'll want that chance. (You doubt me? Let me point you to the record of the recent Congress, elected in November of 2006.)
For you second timers, though, it's particularly hard, particularly if your candidate lost, or worse, quit. You don't yet have the confidence that it will come back, and the experience of multiple campaigns. That means that if your first deeply involved time was 2004, and you backed Dean, you got your hand burned very badly. For you, I have some hard news -- no, it will never feel the same. However, I also have some good news: watching the newbies is wonderful fun, kind of like watching a toddler. You can get most of the innocent joy vicariously, just by watching them.
Meanwhile, when you wonder why you don't feel excited and thrilled like you did that first time, understand that this is not your first time, and that, like second time for many emotional things, the first time left traces. Instead of being sad about those traces, though, recognize why they're there, and treasure the experience that left them behind.