I can't believe I'm writing this diary. I really can't. First let me tell a little history.
UPDATE: Woof! Number 1! Thanks guys!
In 2004, I was a Dean supporter. A big-ass Dean supporter. And, I threw a benefit for the Dean Dozen at my store. We didn't raise a helluva lot of money, but Christine Cegellis came to the store and thanked me for doing this. Now, I don't know how Chris even knew we were having a fundraiser... but, by the end of the evening, her share was something like $28. I mean, seriously not a lot of money.
In 2005, I started looking around for districts I could help with. I mean, I'm in IL-5, Rahm's district, and for the 2006 election, it was clear that Chicago, Illinois and Cook County were all gonna be awfully blue. So, I started looking into other districts in the area that we could shift from red to blue. Chris was still running in 6, and some guy called Zane Smith, I think, was running in 10. I reached out to him. He never reached back. I figured we should get a serious candidate in 10.
And then Rahm ran Duckworth against Chris in 6. I happened to run into him in a shoe store and told him that Tammy was the wrong candidate for 6, that he should run her for 10... that 10 was ready to be flipped, that we needed a serious candidate to take on Kirk. He laughed at me and was very patronizing and told me that Kirk was solid in 10 and I didn't know what I was talking about.
I started looking around for what I could do to help in 2006, and finally, I realized, that I could research. I wrote a series of diaries here called the State-by-State series wherein I wound up identifying a good 65 races that we Kossacks could make a difference in. We won most of 'em. And I wound up raising some 17k for Democrats nationwide.
Fast-Forward.
Last year, Howard Dean graciously invited my partner and me to come to hear him speak. I figured it would be us, Howard, and several thousand of his closest friends. No. It was a small crowd. A very small crowd. 10 or 15 people. And it was a very informal setting... some guy's house. And he told us a lot of stuff that was, clearly, meant not meant for common consumption. I couldn't figure out why we were invited to such an intimate gathering. I mean, it was flattering and everything, but, surely 17k was simply not enough money to raise to be included in a meeting like this. This was a big thing.
Then the really weird thing happened.
About a month after this, I got an email inviting me to a discussion with Hillary Clinton's campaign manager, Terry McAuliffe. Once again, I figured that it would be an intimate gathering of 5 or 6 thousand people. There were 30. Once again, I had no idea why I was there. I wasn't for Hillary. In fact, I didn't really like Hillary... and I didn't like the idea of Hillary. Plus, Chris Dodd was running, and, let's face it, the guy's a hero. The question started, "who here is for Hillary?", and some 40% of the people in the room raised their hands. Terry smiled and nodded and asked everyone who they were for. I was the only Dodd supporter in a room full of Obama and Clinton supporters with a smattering for Edwards and one guy for Kucinich. A veritable microcosm of the Democratic electorate. Terry told us a lot of things, again, largely not for common consumption. But he pointed out the primary calendar and told us that, the way the calendar was drawn up, Hillary was sure to be the nominee. When time came for questions, I asked, if she was the nominee, whether she would spend time in states she wasn't going to win to help down-ticket races. I brought up Nancy Boyda and Scott Kleeb. You'd have been very proud of me. Terry said, as Rahm before him, that that's not the way that politics worked and that there was an electoral college map and everyone had a 50+1 strategy.
Well, I figured the only reason I was there was because I knew Congressional Districts, solid, bow-to-stern-left-to-right, and I knew a candidate who was going to ignore America's heartland in search of a political victory wasn't a candidate I was going to support.
It was then that I started writing diaries saying that the best thing that could happen was that Edwards and Obama flip a coin, and one would run for President and the other for VP, and between the two of them, they could stop her, but the longer there was a divided opposition, the more it would ensure her victory.
But it never happened. And Clinton's numbers kept going up. Edwards was languishing. Obama was thrashing. And Clinton was soaring. DailyKos, it seemed, was the one place in America where Clinton wasn't catching fire. It fact, there was a visceral and irrational hatred of Hillary Clinton that was only rivalled by Rush Limbaugh and his "friends". I didn't understand it. I started writing diaries saying that she was going all the way, that it was hers to lose, and that we'd all better be able to say her name without bile showing in our mouths.
People were not happy with me.
And then, whaddaya know? Clinton starts pulling off the impossible feat... continually shooting herself in the foot until she was limping. Hillary's decline was all about Hillary's decline. But the prime beneficiary was Obama, and, with Clinton's help, and Oprah's he was beginning to move up.
It was about now that Dodd dropped out and I started shopping for a new candidate. My candidate became Edwards, because I think that he understood the primary dangers facing America and was willing and eager to stand up to the corporations. Go Johnny Go!
And Johnny done gone.
And so, it was Hillary and Barack. Barack and Hillary. And, I just didn't care. So, Romney was my guy. Let the other Dems pick our strongest candidate, I was going to pick our weakest opponent. There's more than one way to help your party win, and I've never been much of a conformist. So, Romney Romney Ro Ro Ro!
But every time someone attacked Hillary for something that was just sexist, I was defending her. Someone said they didn't like dynasties, and I was the first to say that we should not preclude someone from the White House because the votes in Florida weren't counted or because Kerry didn't listen to Edwards and demand that every vote in Ohio be counted. I was there saying that the first woman governor and the first woman senator were only there because their husbands were there first, and that no one minds when a son follows his father into office, that the whole "Just say no to dynasty" mantra was just sexist drivel.
And I got to thinking, why didn't I like Hillary? Why did she just rub me the wrong way? And the more I thought about it, the more it was because, for the past 15 years, the media has been trashing her... ever since she had the audacity to try for health care reform, she was just plain dangerous and they dragged her through the dirt.
So, I watched the 1/31 debate. And you know what? She impressed me. She really did. She won me over. I didn't want to vote against anyone... I wanted to vote for someone. And finally, Hillary won me over. And I realized that I hadn't heard a word she said before that debate... I had only heard people talking about her. Here. Stephanie Miller. The media. But I hadn't heard her on her own. And that made all the difference.
Look.
I think George W Bush was out to destroy America, but that the work he wanted to do was going to take more than 8 years, and so I figured he wasn't really leaving in 2009. But there are booby traps laid. The economy. The environment. The military. The rule of law. The internal structures of government, most especially the Justice Department. Infrastructure. The very fabric of civil society. I wrote a diary a couple of years ago called Funk and Defunk. Here's a snippet of it:
And here it is, for 2006, this is what you have to say to anyone who will listen to you.
Something is terribly wrong with our country. It's like we're on a train that is heading for a cliff and we're just picking up speed. Faster and faster, we're moving to the edge of the precipice. And all the Republicans are doing is singing "la la la, gay marriage, la la la, abortion, la la la, Terri Schiavo, la la la, war, terror, war, terror, war!".
NONE OF THAT MATTERS.
The only thing that matters is that this train has to be stopped. Someone's got to put their hands to the brakes before we all go careening over the cliff. It's now. It's happening. Can't you see the cliff? Can't you feel the damp mist rising from the chasm?
I don't care what your issue is. Civil rights. The economy. The environment. The war. There are hundreds of issues. And there's one issue.
This train has to stop. Someone's got to apply the brakes. That cliff, it's RIGHTFUCKINGTHERE. We're right AT THE EDGE. And still, the TRAIN IS PICKING UP STEAM.
I think that Hillary Clinton is the person to apply the brakes. I think it is Hillary who stops the whole damn train from careening over the precipice, taking our nation and the world along with it.
It's not whether Barack is a good candidate: he is. He will turn out the youth vote and generate enthusiasm around the country. He will be very good for the Democratic party for a generation to come. But he has studiously avoided taking a position in anything controversial... and screw what he's going to do Day 1, or what he really has planned for the future... the train has to stop. And I trust Hillary to stop the train.
God willing we make it to the end of the current administration... and God willing that that will really be in 2009. But I want Hillary Clinton in the White House afterwards!