Apparently we have a new measure for patriotism, namely an American flag lapel pin. Don't have one? You're un-patriotic, simple as that. Since life is so black & white, lets take a look and find out who meets our newfound patriotism requirements...
I have compiled a list of Flag Deniers who apparently hate our country so much that they won't even wear a $1.99 made-in-China American flag lapel pin. My research has been exhaustive, but I'm sure I've missed a few. Please let me know if I've left any commie bastard Al-Qaeda sympathizers off this list:
Barack Obama - UNPATRIOTIC. And he's a Muslim to boot!
Hillary Clinton - UNPATRIOTIC. Although, she apparently supports something.. what is that, a turtle?
John McCain - UNPATRIOTIC. War hero? Pshaw!
Mike Huckabee - UNPATRIOTIC. Apparently he doesn't support Jesus either. Where's the Jesus pin?
George W Bush - UNPATRIOTIC. Although I must admit, it was hard to find a non-flag-lapel-wearing picture of this guy, so apparently he's the most patriotic of us all.
Dick Cheney - UNPATRIOTIC. This one was tough too.. I'd rate him as 2nd most patriotic after GWB.
Bill O'Reilly - UNPATRIOTIC. Time to form a lynching party to punish this America hater.
Sean Hannity - UNPATRIOTIC. Deliver us from flag-hating is more like it.
Keith Olbermann - UNPATRIOTIC. Worst. America hater. In the woooorrrrllllddddd.
Stephen Colbert - UNPATRIOTIC. Although Americone Dream is pretty damn patriotic. I mean, it's ice cream in a flag-draped cardboard container! Maybe I should give him a pass...
Mel Gibson & Heath Ledger - UNPATRIOTIC. And look where it got them...
Patriot Missile Launcher Thing - UNPATRIOTIC. Granted, it's tough to see its lapel, but trust me, it's not wearing a pin.
GI Joe - UNPATRIOTIC. Although I suppose Mr. Joe's lapel pin could be under his ammo suspenders.
New England Patriot - UNPATRIOTIC. And a LOSER too!
And now some America Haters from the past:
Ronald Reagan & George HW Bush - UNPATRIOTIC
Honest Abe - UNPATRIOTIC
George Washington - UNPATRIOTIC
I'm sure I forgot some, but there you have it. So next time someone challenges your patriotism, ask them where their lapel pin is.