This morning I heard two distinct messages that women are to blame for men's mistakes. The tricky thing is, the messages came from polar opposites on the political spectrum.
The first message was the one I expected: Dr. Laura on Today said that if Eliot Spitzer had gotten the ego affirmation, love, sex, and ponies he needed from his wife, he wouldn't have strayed. Women must provide all possible known and unknown needs to their husbands or they're to blame for their husband's indiscretions with hookers and mistresses. The standard anti-feminist conservative crap.
The second message was more bewildering. On CBS, the message was this: Why are these women time and again submitting to the embarrassment and humiliation of standing by their man in front of the media when he screws up? By this behavior, they're sending the message that it's ok to cheat.
So women get it from both sides. We're damned if we provide loving support to husbands who have wronged us, and we're damned if we don't foresee every ego, sexual, romantic, and psychological need and meet it.
And the message ultimately fails us all because it's not speaking the truth that nobody is to blame for Eliot Spitzer's hubris but himself.
And over and over this morning, I saw pictures of Hillary Clinton next to Bill. And the unspoken message was she's to blame. It was her fault somehow. She encouraged the behavior by tolerating it. She encouraged the behavior by not satisfying his every need. It was her fault.
I support Obama to be our next President. But this morning, I'm supporting Hillary. It wasn't her fault Bill cheated. It wasn't her fault Eliot used hookers.
And it's not my fault either. Not my fault if my boyfriend cheats. Not my fault any man uses hookers.