Oh, Jesus, here we go again.
Another pie war, this time disguised as a "strike." I just rolled my eyes so hard I can see my pre-frontal cortex (I forgot I'd sold advertising space there in the '80s---"Drink New Coke!").
Really now. A strike? At least during the pie war we got to suck on lots of yummy fruit filling. During a strike you typically suck on fire hoses and teargas. Wheee!
More >>>
Oh, and then we have all the strike rebuttals. And counter-rebuttals. And counter-rebuttal rebuttals. And by this evening I expect we'll all be flinging poo at each other, freshly excreted from our own fleshy buttals.
For such an anti-war crowd, a lot of us sure do fight a lot. For such a pro-intelligence crowd, a lot of us sure do write like inarticulate dummies a lot. For such an issues-oriented crowd, a lot of us sure do like to wallow in the "issue" of name-calling and kneecapping.
Go ahead, keep on writing strike diaries if it floats your boat. I'm boycotting them. And I encourage all Kossacks to boycott the strike diaries, too, until they...um...stop getting writ.
Are you with me?
I said...ARE YOU WITH ME?!!!
[Memo to self: check batteries in bullhorn before leaping up on cafeteria table and making an ass of yourself.]
I'd like to thank in advance those whom I think are on board. Your support means the world to me:
John in Queens
Jodi in Edinburgh
Mary in Muncie
Todd from the pizza place
Lester Holt
Cook E. Monster
Andrea Mitchell
Jerome Armstrong
Francois the cheesemaker
Artemus Gordon
Chef Boyardee
The Rockettes
My mail carrier
And 35 Nobel Prize winners, all of whom requested anonymity
Please add your name to the list. Together, we can ignore the strike diaries together, as one, and get back to what's really important.
Pie.
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Update: Just to be clear, this is not a strike diary. It is a brand new category called a Boycott Diary. And no, you can't boycott a boycott diary because, well, this is 2008 and it's just not good form.
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Update 2: The following have since joined our crusade of ignorance:
Feline-Americans of America
Frank the Leafblower
Rummy the Beagle
Pinkerton's National Detective Agency
Tucker Carlson (I guess he's looking for something to do)
16 Ron Paul Supporters
A consortium of Nigerian finance minister spammers
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The National Institutes of Health (pending)
The ShuffleBoard Team of St. Petersburg, FL
Nonie3234's parents (on loan)
And apparently all the seafood.
I'm sensing we're already running out of steam.
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