"YOU took the jelly out of my donut." One of my favorite movie quotes says it all.
When I was growing up, I never thought of myself as any different from anyone else. At least not until fourth grade. I grew up in a military family. The son of an American father and a Japanese mother. I started school overseas, so maybe that had something to do with it. Anyway, when we moved back to this country, for second grade, I started attending public school, not another defense department school. A lot of of public schools. As a matter of fact, I attended twelve different public schools in twelve years of primary and secondary education. So I know what it’s like to move around. After a while you just accept new places, people, and things. You learn to figure things out faster and faster each time. You learn to assess people by listening and not talking. You hear their opinions before they know yours. So when I was in fourth grade, we lived off base. Base housing wasn’t available yet for our family so we had to live near the base (military people understand and accept these kinds of things). I had what I thought was a close friend. He was a close friend. We shared lots of things, likes and dislikes. And we used to play together outside a lot (we only lived in that house for about 8 months). That was until I spent a night at his house. The sleepover went OK until the next day. That morning we were to attend church. My mother knew this and had packed a suit for me. My friend’s mother made a big fuss to a neighbor, in front of me, over how handsome her son looked. I took this as motherly pride. After church, we changed and my friend and I weren’t doing much of anything, just kind of hanging out. The mother was doing laundry. When her son was out of the room, she asked if I was just going to sit there or whether or not I was going to help with the laundry. Being a military son, you are expected to do your share of household chores. It’s not a request, it’s your job. So I folded laundry. However, during that whole time I got the very clear impression that I was not welcome in the house. My friend didn’t fold. He didn’t even know how. He watched and thought it was amusing that I did. Just after that, I was picked up by my mother and we went home. I talked to my ‘friend’ a couple of times after that, but of course it was never the same. At the time I couldn’t understand what I had done to make my friend’s mother mad at me. It took me a long time to realize what it was. I was being told that I was different; that I wasn’t the same as everyone else. And that’s when the jelly was taken out of my donut. I didn’t do anything to deserve this treatment. It was only because I looked different that I was treated that way. So when people, non-minority people, always ask why we, minorities, always see things in terms of race, I find it telling. I didn’t see things that way until I was told that I HAD to see things that way. So all the history lessons about how great this country is, how tolerant and how everyone is treated equally. And believe me I love this country. My father died serving this country. I served in the military defending this country. Well, I don’t think we’re quite there yet. Even though I think a lot of people like to delude themselves into thinking that way. So, maybe this country isn’t ready for a president that’s not a man of white European descent.