white suburban women with hammer toes, Albanian gas station attendants and Rosicrucians!
Polling released 20 minutes ago suggests that questions regarding the Senator's relationship with his long time dentist, an outspoken advocate of Relaxation Sedation, have cost the candidate valuable votes in Indiana and, notably, Guam.
Political pundits are agog after reviewing these new numbers, which appear to throw the race for the democratic nomination into a cocked hat, whatever that means. Clinton campaign staffers point to the grassroots importance of the often underestimated ground squirrel vote as well as the infamously fickle but real potency of the Albanians. The ever inscrutable Rosicrucian vote appears to be up for grabs in the tall grass of coastal Guam, always a late bloomer at primary time.
Stay tuned for fresh analysis from Pat Buchanan, Joe Klein and Jim Backus, who were moments ago observed realigning their comb-overs and touching up their pancake base.