What do you think was said between Barack Obama and Joe Lieberman in their three-minute heated discussion today in the Senate? Opinions vary. According to our crack team of daily kos lipreaders:
This is technically number eleven, but it cracks me up.
droogie6655321:
Barack: Joe, got a minute?
Joe: Yes?
Barack: Oh, man, I will never forgive your ass for this shit. This is some fucked-up repugnant shit.
Joe: Barack, did you ever hear the philosophy that once a man admits that he's wrong that he is immediately forgiven for all wrongdoings? Have you ever heard that?
Barack: Get the fuck out my face with that shit! The motherfucker that said that shit never had to deal with your dumb ass.
Joe: I got a threshold, Barack. I got a threshold for the abuse that I will take. Now, right now, I'm a fuckin' race car, right, and you got me the red. And I'm just sayin', I'm just sayin' that it's fuckin' dangerous to have a race car in the fuckin' red. That's all. I could blow.
Barack: Oh! Oh! You ready to blow?
Joe: Yeah, I'm ready to blow.
Barack: Well, I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Every time I see you on TV, I'm Superfly TNT, I'm the Guns of the Navarone!
And now the top ten list! Number ten!
sunspark says:
joe? what's my name?
obama
what is it?
obama
say it again
obama
not osama
no
not yo mama
no
what is it?
obama
ok. we've established that you know that much. so here's something else you need to know. you keep running with john mccain and crossing me every chance you get, you're gonna need some serious, and i do mean serious help putting yourself back together again after i obama your little turncoat ass off. got it?
um...yes?
good. now smile nicely at all of those reporters and i'll walk in front of you so they don't see that wet spot on your pants.
Number nine!
doss:
O: I'm the Presidential nominee.
L: Yeah, I've heard.
O: I'm here to remind you that we'll both be running for re-election in 2012...
Number eight!
droogie6655321:
(Obama dangles Lieberman off the side of a building, holding him by his lapels)
Lieberman: Don't kill me, man! Don't kill me!
Obama: I'm not going to kill you. But I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell all your Republican friends about me.
Lieberman: What are you?!
Obama: I'm the next president of the United States.
(Obama spreads his cape and glides off the building)
Number seven!
nightsweat:
O: Joe, let's talk.
J: OK
O: Joe, you're a loyal American aren't you?
J: Why I've never-
O: Let me finish. Joe - you're a loyal American and we need loyal Americans in the diplomatic service.
J: Go on.
O: Now, Joe, as I see it, Just one old crank stands between me ad the White House. And if you think he's tough, I want to remind you of the time Hillary beat you up and took your lunch money, and you saw what I did to her.
J: I'm listening.
O: So Joe, as I see it, you'd be a fine ambassador. The only question is whether you'd be a better ambassador to Israel, France, the UK...
J: go on
O: Or New Guinea. You ever been to New Guinea, Joe? Not much in the way of electricty or entertainment. And it's hot there Joe. Real hot.
J: I see...
Number six!
droogie6655321:
Barack: Joe, a minute of your time?
Joe: (pained groan)
Barack: Joe, I have a straw...
Number five!
billysumday:
Obama: Do you like apples?
Joementum: Why yes, I quite like them.
Obama: All kinds?
Joementum: Why many kinds, of course. Why do you ask.
Obama: Because I have lots of apples to give you.
Joementum: You do? Wonderful! What kind of apples are they?
Obama: They're the kind of apples that make douchebags who should know better finally shut the hell up and stop attacking their own party's nominee.
Joementum: Well then.
Obama: And the other kind of apples strip you of any power you ever had in this chamber and leave your constituents no reason to vote you back into office, particularly when we've already found a primary challenger ten times better than Ned Lamont to finally kick you out on your ass.
Joementume: You do?
Obama: Now how do you like them apples?
Number four!
AlyoshaKaramazov:
Obama: Joe, could you come over here with me for a moment, please?
Joe: uhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........
Obama: Just act like we're talking about the vote we just had. Nod and smile..........that's right, good. Now, you need to understand something, Joey-boy. I come from the South Side of Chicago, you dig?
Joe: uhhhh, but I.......
Obama: My momma didn't raise my ass all by herself so that jackasses like you could walk all over it, dig?
Joe: But I..................
Obama: STFU and listen. You are caucusing with Democrats. I am a Democrat. John McCain is a Republican. It ain't rocket science, bro. You need to signify, my friend. Majority Leader Reid don't take care of this............I will. Dig?
Joe: Uh, ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........word, brother.
Number three!
ford prefect 2:
Obama: If you ever tap your shoe near my stall in the bathroom again, I will kick your sorry ass.
Lieberman: Understood sir.
Obama: Look up in the balcony Joe. Do you see Sean Hannity sitting up there. I had to give him the same damned warning last week.
Lieberman: That is sick and wrong.
Number two!
dlh77489:
Obama: Look Joe, fact of the matter is...
Liebercon: ...I
Obama: Lemme finish! The fact of the matter is I will be president in January, and you're just some guy from Connecticut.
Lieberlie: But...
Obama: You see all those reporters up there?
Lieberfool: Yeah.
Obama: They are complete tools.
And the number one and "official" conversation transcript between Barack Obama and Joe Lieberman!
tunesmith:
"Look at what I'm doing, Joe. I just lead you to a corner of the Senate."
"Yes, I know, what did you - "
"What we talk about doesn't matter. Look at how you are standing. You're in the corner, and I'm facing you."
"I don't see what this has to do with - "
"Now I'm patting your back. Pat mine. Ok, good. Do you understand what this looks like?"
"I don't - "
"I am taller than you, Joe. You are in a corner, and I am taller than you."
"I don't understand what you think you are - "
"Now I'm going to turn around and point to the press. You'll see how this plays out. Thanks, Joe."
"Uh -"
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