The following is a fictionalized news story written May 23, 2011 and reported by the Disassociated Press, a newswire gathering service of stenographers that specializes in regurgitating right wing talking points while concealing news from the public. The content expressed does not represent the personal views of the diarist but merely applies the law as four Supreme Court Justices and John McCain seemingly would apply it.
May 23, 2011, Washington, DC, Disassociated Press, Kendra Sickler reporter.
Unnamed government officials, citing their broad and apparent endless authority of "wartime powers" have arrested Senator Joseph I. Lieberman, and have detained him at an undisclosed location on American soil. Mr. Lieberman has been labeled an "enemy combatant" and thus pursuant to the Bush/McCain/Lieberman doctrine, Mr. Lieberman was not allowed to contact a lawyer nor challenge his detention in court.
The unnamed government officials, speaking on conditions of anonymity, have accused Joseph I. Lieberman of "aiding and abetting the enemy." The authorities state that Joseph I Lieberman has been actively preventing the United States government from capturing and killing Osama Bin Laden, the terrorist responsible for the September 11th attacks more than 9 years ago.
When asked to cite the evidence the unnamed government official said, "It does not matter whether or not we have evidence. It does not matter whether or not Joseph Lieberman actually did something wrong. Some government official has labeled Joseph I. Lieberman an enemy combatant and that is all that is required under Taliban Conservative Law. It appears that there are four justices on the Supreme Court that have adopted this theory. Rumor has it that the source for this well grounded legal opinion were conversations that two inmates at Creedmore's mental institution had with all of the Founding Fathers while playing with smurfs in which Papa Smurf revealed that this is what the founding fathers intended.
The ACLU is outraged:
The arrest of Mr. Joseph Lieberman is a tragedy. No government should have the right to arrest a citizen and simply claim that he is an enemy combatant. While Mr. Lieberman's views are hazardous for America, there is no crime here. Mr. Lieberman should be released from jail immediately and allowed to return home.
Mr. Lieberman was also supported by the popular blog Daily Kos, which often disagrees with Mr. Lieberman's right wing Likudian policies, right wing policies which share a remarkable similarity to the policies of the Islamofascists LIEberman often denounces. In a diary that was well received, a Daily Kos diarist wrote:
While Mr. Liebermans' views are disturbing, he is entitled to the same liberties and freedoms that everyone else is. Mr. Joseph Lieberman is entitled to advocate for policies that continue to help Osama Bin Laden even though 99.9999% of the DK community opposes those policies. Mr. Lieberman is entitled to continue to advocate for Likudian policies that weaken Israel and strengthen Hamas and Hezbollah. Mr. Lieberman is alsp entitled to continue to lick the ass of anti-Semite John Hagee, a virulent hate monger who once said that Hitler was heaven sent.
But in a free country, people are entitled to differing views and although the views of Mr. Lieberman have shrunk to the status of that of a fourth party gadfly, he is entitled to them nonetheless.
If we took this Bush Doctrine and applied it to right wing conservatives we would be legalizing the right to arrest, detain, incarcerate, and even put to death the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter, and Michelle Malkin.
No person in America should be arrested for non violent Thoughtcrime. All Americans are entitled to habeas corpus, due process, and the right to a fair trial. These rights extend to Mr. Joseph Lieberman, even if Mr. Lieberman once opposed extending these same rights to other citizens.
The right wing conservatives who once opposed habeas corpus have now come to the aid of Joseph Lieberman.
Bill O'Reilly, host of the rarely watched investigatory program on TV titled, "Loofah We'll Do It Live" called the arrest of Joseph Lieberman the "act of pinheads."
Rush Limbaugh inquired whether Hadassah would like to be his fifth wife but these overtures were rejected after Hadassah insisted on a two day sunset clause instead of the ten year sunset clause that Marta's pre-nup had. (Marta patiently waited ten years and filed for that divorce and made tens of millions.)
Sean Hannity, the former Fox News employee who was fired after Rupert Murdoch realized that Hannity actually destroyed the Republican Party, blamed Lieberman's arrest on George Soros and environmentalists.
Michelle Maglalang Malkin, partially defended Lieberman's detention and said that Lieberman must remain in prison unless he can produce a birth certificate.
Ann Coulter cried for the first time in 40 years about how she will miss her favorite former Democrat and favorite Senator.
But unnamed government officials were not about to capitulate:
Joe Lieberman is an enemy combatant of the United States of America. This is a determination to be made by members of the executive branch, not a bunch of lawyers.
Mr. Lieberman was in an undisclosed location where he was receiving enhanced interrogation treatment while relaxing comfortably on a waterboard where Mr. Lieberman was being kindly supplied with heavy doses of aqua in five minute intervals.
Now if John McCain becomes President, what I just described above becomes reality but with different names. That's not paranoia, it's reality and on a much smaller scale it already has happened. But if you need a reminder as to why Barack Obama needs to be appointing the next several Supreme Court justices and why the quartet of Roberts, Alito, Scalia, and Thomas can never become a majority (They basically are 90% of the time with Justice Kennedy although Justice Kennedy will secure his place in American history in a positive way if he makes a clean break from the "RATS" more often than not), this is it.
I wonder if Joe Lieberman would like the idea of the government throwing his ass in jail for no reason and denying him access to courts. Perhaps somebody should ask him.