(This is my first dailykos diary, please be gentle)
So, I've been hearing about this a lot over the past year or so and today I readthis article in slate.com .This is so disturbing to me, both for obvious, personal reasons, but also not so obvious reasons.
I am homosexual and I was born this way. (I have the lifestyle of a hippy, so if you say one thing about my "lifestyle" in response to this, I’m assuming you mean me being a hippy and thus your comments will be meaningless....just getting that out of the way). I experimented with opposite-sex...um....sex and even loved a few men in a romantic, sexual way. Overall though, I always knew that was wrong. It physically felt wrong, it felt wrong in my "spirit", my heart, my thoughts, everything about it was wrong. I've had some crappy relationships with women, but every woman I've been with felt RIGHT in every important way. Where it was "wrong" with a man, it was (and is) "right" with a woman. This is how I am.
I've wanted to raise a child for a very, very long time now. Too bad I met my partner so late. She wanted to give birth for as long as she could remember, but by the time we met and fell in love, she was entering early menopause, she was finishing her dissertation, she was moving, etc. I suppose technically I could still give birth but....I never wanted to give birth and even if I did, I'm 42 and so my eggs are 42, which is old for an egg. Time is even running out for adoption (in some states anyway).
One thing Becky and I both believe, contrary to what Rosy O’Donnell says, Becky and I hope(d) for a healthy child.....as well as a gay child.
Sure, we wouldn't know until she or he was an adolescent (most likely even older) but we would hope for that. Some people (like Rosie) argue why would you want that for your child, considering how "hard" it is for homosexuals in today’s world. While we acknowledge some things are very hard for homosexuals (including being murdered in the name of various religions, including xtianity), dealing with adversity tends to instill resilience, persistence, a sense of justice, strong morals and ethics, and really, it can toughen you up in a good way.
More than all that though, we believe (and many others on many points along the sexual orientation spectrum) there is some so far unknown genetic / biological advantage to having homosexuals in the population. Our genes usually are not passed directly (a child of mine and Becky would not have half my DNA and half hers) but our memes are for sure. Something else happens to, and that’s the great mystery! Homosexuality is found through nature, that’s a fact, an incontrovertible fact. You see it everywhere from bonobos to rams, from geese to penguins. Homo sex is not only good sex, but its also healthy for ALL members of a community, whether all members "participate" in it directly or receive benefits indirectly.
Science is wonderful. I'm a big supported of science. I believe it acts as a tonic to superstition which would keep us in the mud always. I'm disturbed when science is used to force one particular agenda, such as eugenics. I believe that as science begins to understand more and more what makes a homosexual a homosexual, and thus understands ways to hormonally force a homosexual fetus to be a heterosexual fetus, we just push ourselves ever closer to extinction.
That’s right, I believe homosexuals are important, even VITAL to the continuation of our (and every other) species.
Scientists will find the way, and parents will push for it. Parents who already overwhelmingly choose gender mutilation (in the form of "reassignment" in the case of "genital ambiguity"), parents who more and more choose genetic tests to determine if they are going to have a boy child or a girl child. Adults who can not see that that infant is an actual PERSON who may deeply resent that those choices were made FOR him / her. A person who will never get the chance to understand their true nature. Parents will do it believing they have the very best of intentions. Parents will think they are doing this out of "love". the truth is, those parents will do it out of ignorance, fear and religious conditioning. It's not right.
It is not right.
Sometimes I have to "reassure" myself that the world is in its death throws (sp?) anyway, so what does it matter? that thought lives side by side with suicide. Other times I realize it's my responsibility to speak out, like I'm doing here. Perhaps I will directly cause someone to actually THINK about it. Perhaps I will indirectly influence someone to choose not to harm their infant out of "love". Perhaps. Perhaps not.
My partner and I will probably be able to adopt, our lives are getting more stable now that she has moved back home. We'll raise our children to be the best people they can be, regardless of their orientation, as any good parent should do. And I will, as long as I draw enough breath to make words out loud, or have enough strength to tap on a keyboard, continue to explore these ideas and tell others about it, make them uncomfortable confronting the diversity of humanity. Stand for the odd, the weird, the queers and the bearded ladies. its the only thing I know TO do.