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I'm not sure what this new fascination with count-up clocks is, on the part of Republicans -- clocks that are meant to show when Barack Obama last visited one particular television program, or last visited Iraq, or refused to respond to McCain's demand for a series of townhall meetings. It reminds me of my daughter -- once she first learned to count, that's all she ever did. She counted everything. She counted how many seconds it took her to run from the kitchen to the living room and back... she counted how long it took her to put her books away... she counted how many peas were on her plate. She was obsessed with counting.

But given the current budget, Republicans still haven't learned to count. So that can't be it.

Of course, all the "clocks" they've come up with have been, and forgive me for finding this both intriguing and hysterical, demands that Obama pay attention to them. Fox News put up a clock demanding that Obama grace Fox News with an interview -- he did. That acquiescence is likely what led the RNC to the same idea, so now they're demanding both that Obama visit Iraq (with McCain! It's a field trip!) and that he allow McCain to tag along with him on his trips around the country, appearing on the same stage.

By all appearances, they're obsessed with trying to get Obama to grace them with his presence. McCain's constant invitations to appear with Obama have been a wee bit pathetic; I've never seen a campaign so insistent on making themselves the opening act for the other party's candidate.

At the rate they're going through them, they're going to run out of clocks, but I suppose since they're so concerned about what Obama does, we might as well return the favor and help them out. Here's some alternative clocks the RNC can run on their homepage:

Days Since McCain Dared Obama To Eat A Bug: 54

Days Since McCain Demanded New Policy Of '5 Do-Overs Per Debate': 12

Days Since McCain "Forgot" One Of His Previous Positions: 0.5

Days Since McCain Demanded Obama Get Off His Lawn: 3

Days Since McCain Mentioned He Was a POW In Vietnam: 0

Days Since McCain Mentioned He Doesn't Like To Use His POW Experience As Political Tool: 0

Days Since McCain Last Praised Bush Policy Of Refusing POW Status Or Any Other Legal Recourse To Detainees: 1

Days Since McCain Toured Iraqi Marketplace With 100+ Troops And Air Support, Declaring It Safe: 445

Days Since Last Iraqi Marketplace Bombing Killing More Than 50 People: 2

Days Since The Republican Party Had An Original Idea: 3,284

Days It Took My Browser To Fully Load That Goddamn Huge Blinky-Flashy-Scripty Web Page: Dunno, probably about 3. I lost track. Seriously, guys, we're not all graced with fiber optic lines into our homes -- cut us a break here. Nice stuffed elephant, though.

Originally posted to Daily Kos on Thu Jun 19, 2008 at 07:15 PM PDT.


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