Post them on your fridge! Send them to your friends! We've got to send this man where he deserves to go!
John McCain always takes the right position
He takes so many positions, one of them has to be right.
John McCain does not associate with crazy black preachers
Only crazy white preachers.
John McCain is a president for the 21st century
He's aware of the internet.
John McCain was tortured in Vietnam
Which is why he voted against the ban on torturing people with waterboarding.
He won't talk to our enemies
Because we all know how not talking improves relationships.
He's a maverick
Only a maverick would strongly support George Bush's dumbest ideas.
He's supported campaign finance reform
All the lobbyists around him are there for research.
John McCain is accepting government-driven public financing
Because the public-driven public financing isn't working out so well for him.
Foreign policy is his strength
He's learning what Sunnis and Shiites are.
John McCain supports the troops
He'll send them on fun adventures around the world.
John McCain supports veterans
He talked to one while he was AWOL from the 2008 vote for veterans benefits.
John McCain rides the Straight Talk Express
Only his surrogates twist the words of veterans like General Wesley Clark and former Marine Jim Webb.
John McCain is conservative
If by "conservative" you mean hocking the nation to the Chinese to pay for bloody occupations of countries on the opposite side of the world while they set up Iranian-style theocracies.
John McCain is not an elitist
He's just an ordinary guy living with his ordinary heiress in their ordinary eight houses, with a net worth of a modest 100 million dollars.