On this Hump Day, I hope you got to be or will be able to assume whichever role you want - either humpee or humper. I wonder what the candidates' stance on Hump Day is? Inquiring minds want to know!
I've got nothing else "Intro" - wise; I've felt like my alarm just went off all day today. So, on to tonight's Countdown diary!
#5 "Double Talk Express" - There was a surge before THE surge, according to Senator McCentury. It’s long past time to purge the surge before I binge & sing a dirge. I don’t remember GWB’s televised address about this introductory surge before THE surge; I must’ve missed that one. So, if Senator McCentury saw this "pre – surge" during Iraq visits, do you think he should’ve told our "decider" about it? Maybe, GWB was golfing. Way to go, Chris Hayes, for telling the "media" to do its stinkin’ job about clarifying Senator McCentury’s "gaffes"! CBS did some damn creative editing. Y’all think anyone at CBS will lose their job over this? Nope, me neither. I wonder what Dan Rather thinks about all this? Hi, Rachel! Senator McCentury was at an event yesterday with a half – full room? Gadzooks.
#4 "McShame" AKA "Message for History" AKA "McCain’s Genocide Gambit" - So, Senator McCentury thinks Senator Obama is "pro" genocide. Um... we can’t have "300,000 troops in the Congo" if they’re all in Iraq, which is where you plan for them to be over the next 50/100/1000 years, But, then again, I keep forgetting that YOU, Senator McCentury, are math – challenged. And, I thought I was bad. I wonder if all the Iraqis who have died over the last 5 years that we’ll probably never know the final number of would be considered a "genocide" by Senator McCentury?
**Happy (?) birthday to the Downing St. Memo! *&^%$#@! Oh, look at the chimp. Can said chimp finish GWB’s term – PLEASE?! I thought dinosaurs were extinct. You know there’s something missing. According to the fine folks at the Creation Museum, there should be a cave man riding that dinosaur. How ‘bout those drinking buddies? They took the idea of hot pants way too literally. You know, with all these stupid a$$ criminals, I should probably try it out; I’m way more intelligencer than these guys.**
#3 "Polling Ahead" AKA "Survey Says" - Sorry Keith & Chuck, but the only poll that MATTERS is the one on Election Day. These days, polls mean exactly Jack $hit to me. Good f*ckin’ grief, there’s the "v" word again. Those currently ruling this nation think they have "values." Once again, the meaning is exactly jack $hit. Yea for the new Timothy J. Russert Highway! This has to be the first time in memory that GWB signed something that didn’t make me want to upchuck.
WPITW – Keith, I’m begging you; I am literally on my knees – GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER! – begging you for a Mr. Bull Snort break. PLEASE???!!! Joementum thinks Pastor Hagee is Moses. I think Joementum’s got the delusional potentials to be Senator McCentury’s running mate. Oh please, if there is a God, please make this choice happen!
#1 "Down the Tube" AKA "Bush Tube" AKA "Shearer Genius" - GWB knows about getting drunk and having hangovers. Harry Shearer!! Yes, yes, yes, yes, and YES!! I must get his CD. This is Spinal Tap, Mighty Wind, and The Simpsons...Need I say more? That little girl who ran away from GWB is a genius! Keith gets to go to another Simpsons "table reading". When the f*ck am I going to get invited to one? I’ve never missed an episode and am a fountain of semi – useful Simpsons information! Does this mean Keith’s going to be on The Simpsons again?! ALL RIGHT!!