...and found me crying about half an hour ago.
I stood in the middle of our living room with tears in my eyes and running down my face.
(continued)
"What happened?" he asked.
"They just nominated him." I said. The look of panic went out of his eyes and he muttered something to himself. I think he was probably alarmed when he walked in and found me like that.
I told him: In my lifetime I can remember three historical things - things that would fundamentally alter my view of the world as well as the world I lived in - happening. The first was all the news on 9/11. I knew on that day that the way I lived before had pretty much vanished forever. The second was hearing CNN reporter Jeanne Merserve report by phone, in the darkness, from New Orleans the night after Katrina hit. "You could hear the dogs screaming", she said, and her voice broke. I knew at that moment that my faith in our government was going to be forever altered. The third was the moment MSNBC reported, after Hillary Clinton's request to nominate Barack Obama by acclimation followed by Pelosi's formalizing statement, that the United States of America had nominated its first African American Presidential candidate.
My husband knows I'm not usually so randomly emotional, so he gave me a hug and just let me have my moment of being overwhelmed, of being appreciative that I had witnessed an historical event that didn't involve terrorism and government apathy.
He went down to his office and I stood there with my hands at my face just taking it all in.
But I wasn't done with him yet - my husband, that is. I went downstiars and told him:
"One more thing and then I'll shut up about this for bit. Tomorrow is the anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s 'I Have a Dream' speech. It's teh same night that Barack Obama will accept the nomination."
I continued: "I'm so grateful that I have had a good education and a good (if somewhat shallow) understanding of history. 45 years ago, before I was born and when you were only 7 years old, people were dying in the South. Students willingly put themselves in harm's way - cognizant of the risk they were taking - to go to the South and help register African Americans to vote. Some of those students were murdered, their bodies dumped in the swamps of the South. Many black people were lynched - their families terrorized - crosses burned on their lawns - for having the temerity to even hint that they might want to register to vote. So many people stood on pure courage in the face of fear because they KNEW - they KNEW that what was happening there was just fundamentally wrong. Young people risked their lives because they understood that some things were worth fighting for. That's why I'm not a cynic. That's why I believe that people, truly, are essentially good."
"It was a 45 year long road from that moment to this one, where I could stand and watch the first African American receive a Presidential nomination from one of the major political parties in one of the most powerful nations in the world."
My husband - it was a great moment - I could SEE HIM put himself on that historical path and appreciate things as I was trying to appreciate them. That made me feel really good.
But I have to admit. As I watched the cameras follow Hillary Clinton away from the New York delegation, I was sad. She was the first woman I've seen in my lifetime who was viably that close to being the first woman nominated to be President of the United States.
I was quite harsh on Hillary Clinton during the primary race. I frankly don't rescind any of my criticisms, for they were apt at the time they were written. But sometimes shit happens, you know? Hillary Clinton just missed the nomination. Barely. At the end of the day, it wound up being bad timing peppered with some poor campaign decisions.
My heart broke a little when I thought about how close she came. And for just a moment, I understood how some of those women - who have backed her unquestioningly - felt. Just a little bit of what they felt. In that moment, I felt some kinship with them.
There's really no point to this diary - it's my own catharsis on what has proved to be an unexpectedly emotional day. I am extremely proud to be an American today. I am particularly proud - beyond any articulation that really capture my true feelings - to be a DEMOCRAT today.