The other day a few people from my church gathered at a pizza parlor for an informal get-together. It was a diverse group: several nationalities, sexual preferences, age groups, and political affiliations were represented. After we had stuffed ourselves with pizza, the men were glued to the Cowboys game on the big screen while the women were sort of watching and talking. One of the women shared her fears about being home alone since her husband went to teach abroad for a year. She talked about noises in the dark and memories of horror movies that freaked her out. Others chimed in -- there was talk of clowns, Freddy Kruger, Chuckie, and all the other usual suspects.
Then Mary Jane, who is in her mid- to late 70s, spoke up. She is very nice, a typical church lady in a good way, who never says an unkind word to or about anyone. To her, the equivalent of a horror movie is...
... Obama.
Most people at the table went, "Oh, Mary Jane!" and tried to laugh it off, but she was on a roll. He looks so scary, she said, and he's so mean, calling women pigs with lipstick (even though her own sweet husband uses the expression "lipstick on a pig" all the time). He is, don't you know, a COMMUNIST who hates America. He wants to kill little babies and -- gasp! -- raise everybody's taxes. And then... and then... he'll give the White House to Osama bin Laden. Or is it Putin?
At this point, I had to remove myself from the scene. I dragged my reluctant boyfriend away from the football game and headed for the door.
I was pissed, and I didn't want to say anything I might regret later.
Going home in my boyfriend's truck (we're in Texas, after all), I realized what I should have said. I should have pointed out that Freddy, Chuckie, Damien, the Boogeyman, the crazy lady from "Misery," and the "It" clown are not real, and neither is Mary Jane's Obama. I also remembered that Mary Jane used to be afraid of gay men -- until she actually met one, whom she adores.
So how does one introduce Mary Jane to the real Obama? Any ideas?