Apparently, Senator McCain hasn't heard of this wonderful telephonic communigraph that allows someone in Mississippi to talk to someone in Washington with the press of a few buttons, so he needs to park himself in D.C. and, therefore, cannot subject himself to the distraction of debating critical issues with his opponent for the highest office in the world.
So here's a suggestion that allows the Senator to chew gum without the necessity of walking:
Send Sarah Palin to debate Obama on foreign policy.
It's perfect, isn't it? McCain has been telling the world that she's capable of serving as President should he (God forbid) be elected and (God forbid) drop dead. So why not take her for a test drive?
In fact, I think McCain OWES it to American voters to send Sarah Palin to the debates if he himself won't go. It will give her a chance to answer questions (I'm sure she's just dying for the opportunity), and it will give the voters a chance to really evaluate in-depth the critical decision that McCain made in putting her on the ticket. She's certainly as able as any Republican to articulate their talking points (as long as they end in "...Charlie").
Obviously (if she's capable of serving as President) there's really no risk that she'll embarrass the campaign, and matters like foreign policy are old hat to someone who lives just a stones throw from an airplane with sufficient range to reach a point where she might be able to see the remotest part of Russia on a clear day. And John McCain's vision for American foreign policy will still be shared with the public and defended from that radical leftist Obama.
It's a perfect solution: John McCain should report to DC, and Sarah Palin should step out of the shadows.
Who's with me?