William "Bull" Halsey. George "Blood-n-guts" Patton. Ulysses "U.S." Grant. Abraham "Honest Abe" Lincoln.
Great nicknames for eminent Americans. Nicknames with one thing in common: they were bestowed by the press, and never claimed by the men themselves. To my knowledge, Lincoln never called himself "Honest Abe," Grant went by "Sam," and supposedly Bill Halsey hated the nickname "Bull."
And now we have John "The Maverick" McCain and Sarah "Hockey Mom" Palin.
If the press wants to use those nicknames, so be it. But time and again we hear McCain and Palin calling themselves "Maverick" and "Hockey Mom." Palin even makes the obligatory "quote" gesture when she does it. And what comes to mind is not Lincoln or Patton or Grant or Halsey... what comes to mind is someone else entirely... revealed below the fold.
Joxer, Joxer the Mighty!
You remember Joxer, the inept warrior wannabe from Xena? The legend in his own mind, known as "The Mighty" to... himself. Yes, the tales of Joxer's valor were recounted in songs sung around campfires by... Joxer.
Or how about "The Scofield Kid" from Eastwood's Unforgiven? "Some folks call me the Scofield Kid." Another legend in his own mind.
Or how about every used car salesman who calls himself Bob "Great Deal" Johnson in his late night TV ads. Everyone who lived in Jersey during the 80s remembers "They call me Crazy Eddie because my prices are INSAAAAAANE!"
Somebody please tell John and Sarah that nicknames are only cool when used by other people. You never, ever use your own nickname. Do they think Lincoln said "you can trust me, because they call me 'Honest Abe'?" He would have looked like an idiot. He would have looked every bit as stupid and phony as Palin does when she does her "you don't expect two 'Mavericks 'to agree on everything" shtick.
Using their own nicknames puts McCain and Palin alongside Joxer and the Scofield Kid and Crazy Eddie, not Honest Abe and U.S. Grant and Bull Halsey, but they're too tone-deaf to know it. Though I think the following does have some possibilities:
"They call me Crazy Johnny because my policies are INSAAAAAAAANE!"